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-   -   ??family troubles/ middlechild syndorm?? (http://www.healthboards.com/boards/teen-health/164479-family-troubles-middlechild-syndorm.html)

cheerleader07 04-10-2004 01:17 PM

??family troubles/ middlechild syndorm??
 
Ok heres the story.....
for the past few months/year i have been treated unfairly between my brother and my sister and parrents... i get stuck with all the house work and get told that i am immature and that i need to go to the docter b/c i have (problems).... but even after i get all of the house work done arround the house i stilll get the great and(equal oppertunity) to do what ever i want... wether its go fishing with my dad or even go shoping... thats what they say... but it never happen... also my mother gose arround and has her friends over and says( yes i struggle by myself to keep this house clean) this makes me mad... i just donno what to do...plz help

Will M. 04-10-2004 01:43 PM

Re: ??family troubles/ middlechild syndorm??
 
Have you tried talking to your parents and tell them how [i]you[/i] feel? If not, do that. I don't have much advice, since I've never been in a situation like this, but I can tell you that if you need to let off steam, go for a walk. That always helps. Your sig's cool, by the way!

cheerleader07 04-10-2004 03:23 PM

Re: ??family troubles/ middlechild syndorm??
 
yes i have talked to my parrents and thats where one day i did my mom said that i should b on medicine... also i would like to add to my post above one day my mom said that she regreted that i was even born... i just dont know what to do any more...

Will M. 04-10-2004 04:14 PM

Re: ??family troubles/ middlechild syndorm??
 
Hell no, she should be on medicine. If she can't respect you than you shouldn't do things for her, like cleaning the house, and other chores until she learns to love you.

volleyball98 04-10-2004 05:59 PM

Re: ??family troubles/ middlechild syndorm??
 
dude, im sooo sorry. I can sympathize for you though, im sorta in the same situation or I was. Im a college student and because im a college student i live on campuz, but when I did live at home I felt as though I could never do anything right, everything was my fault, I was the trouble maker. Which is not true, I was a good kid considering the simple fact I could have been much worse. I do have ADHD, so i tend to take things at heart. Because Im different from my family members, i tend to get crap throwin in my face. My mom once told me she loved me because i was her daughter but hated the person i was becoming. 15 minutes before my 19th birthday my parents said i was the main cause of their extreme amount of stress. I've gone to counseling at my school to help me, its the only thing that has saved me from going insane. I know it hurts tremendously when ur parents says stuff like that and treat you the way they do......but you have to try to ignore it or not take it soo personally. If you cant see a counselor, talk to a good friend of yours or one of their parents, and if possible a teacher that u trust! I know how comments that ur parents make, blows ur self esteem and self confidence.....its probably one of the most hurtful things that ur mom said to you ever and i wouldnt want to live after that. Have u tired talking to your dad? Im not really sure what kind adivce I can give you.....other than to love yourself. I know you'll be trying to please ur parents not matter how much you say you hate them, and I do it all the time. And i do it because i want a parental approval and i'll never get it. Just try to hang in there...i know its hard but try to talk to SOMEONE that YOU trust. Hang in there, and i'll keep you in my prayers....oh yea and remember sometimes bad things happen to the best of people

always 04-10-2004 08:06 PM

Re: ??family troubles/ middlechild syndorm??
 
i'm in the same situation...
infact my mother completely flipped out on me and put me down because i'm "Ever so terrible"... my little brother is violent and swears... and both of my older sibs have been involved with drugs and alcohol and have almost failed out of high school [luckly my sis has straitened out...] i'm college bound... always done well, never done anything illegal... but yet, i'm the scum of hte earth and they'd rather me be dead... [yes, my mother's told me that...]... i wouldn't knock down "help"... i've actually gone into therapy and well... it's a good place to vent at any rate... has helped a lot in learning to ignore my family... and the fact i'm so "screwed up" is because of how i've been treated my entire life...
i know that it may seem really unfair and that it can really hurt sometimes... but, do your best to block it out... eventually youll be out of there and on your own... and until then, hang in there... talk to other people, find support... i'm sure you are a wonderful person and no one, not even your parents, can ever make you believe that you're not...

cheerleader07 04-10-2004 08:26 PM

Re: ??family troubles/ middlechild syndorm??
 
thanks for ur effert to tell me what to do... i have talked to my dad but he just said that its all leftover stress from my moms work... i just donno what to do to help releive her stress... by a way of not affecting me to set my trigger off...

volleyball98 04-10-2004 09:06 PM

Re: ??family troubles/ middlechild syndorm??
 
When i talked to my dad about my moms behavior its because of the stress she's under or the pain she's in (she always in chronic back pain). Yea i can understand but she just rampages and rages over little stuff all the time and never lets it go. When i talked to my cousnelor she suggested that i write a letter.....then when im ready too burn it and let the past go....which worked but everytime i go home i come back to school and spin out of control. My couneslor noticed that i do great when im not around my parents, im on top of things and I feel great. The moment I get around them or my mom says a negative comment over the phone I spin out of control. Because I realised no matter how good i am or how much i've acceled it doesnt matter im seen as the "bad" girl in a sense and after seeing their reactions still I figured why the heck not and take on that role or being a "bad" girl. It seems as if everything I say and Do is some how gonna be turned into its ur fault. No matter the situation or how i feel its always my fault, No one listens, i cant keep my mouth shut, i never do anything right, etc. My mom also takes things very very personal, and tends to think everyones against her....i swear shes becoming mentaly psycho...... but just like always....counseling helped me or taught me to ignore what they have said and did. Back to the letter thing, my counselor about two weeks ago suggest that i write a letter, and we'd go over it until it was perfect and answer any questions my mom may have.......of course i started to right it and then i've given up hope. But maybe it will help you. Have you talked to your siblings about it? I wish i could do more to help you....


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