My family is great, don't get me wrong, I love them. But when I am home I feel like I am just trapped in this little bubble that I can't get out of. When I am with my friends I feel comfortable and I feel like that is where I belong. But at home I feel like I am "the little one" cuz I am the youngest. However, I have become really close with my mom's cousin Dan, but we never see him or any of my moms other cousin, but I got in touch with him online. But once I get my license he wants me to come visit him. And I did see him yesterday for a little while. I like being close with him because I like that attention I get from him. I'm just afraid that once I start seeing him more, over the summer, it won't be just me going to see him it will be my parents and my brother and sister too. I know that we are all family, but I like that attention that he gives me and call me selfish but I don't want to lose that. It feels good and it feels right. And again, when I am with him I feel like I belong. When we are around all of my dad's family, which we will be today cuz its easter, I feel trapped like I don't want to be there. I don't feel like me, I feel like I have to be someone else.
Also, we have the week of from school next week, and of course I want the week off but I don't know if I can handle being at home the whole week. I don't know what it is, cuz my family is great but something is just off, I feel like I really need to get away and find out who I am and where I belong. And when I'm at school or when I am with Dan, that's what I am finding out. But when I am with the rest of my family I feel like I am supposed to be this person that they grew up with but that's not really me anymore, or I atleast need to find out if it is.
Many people have expirience and felt the same way as you do. You stated that you are the youngest and that may be why. You are your parents baby and they don't want you to grown up. Eventually they will see that you are getting older and let those thing pass..
As for your cousin its hard to say why you can't see them but somthing probaly happen in the family years agi for this split up. When you do get to drive then I do encourage you to go see them. They are family and it be nice for you to see them.
Its hard to give you ideas on what to do when you are at home but try to make the best of it right now. Your parents will continue to treat you like this until they are know your growing up.
Well, your not alone. My parents are the nicest people, but most of the time I feel like I HATE them. I also hate breaks from school. Spring Break was hell, because all my friends are at school, and unfortunetly, I didn't have anyone's number. Now it's Easter break, and it sucks really bad, because everyone's out of town. My point is, you need to find friends from school, and get out of the house. It's good that you have a friend in the family like Dan, but you can't see him that much. Find kids around your age at school, and just tell them you want to go do something. I know if I'm stuck at home, I turn into a jerk and end up being mean to my parents, and that's something nobody wants.
I do hang out with my friends a lot on the weekends. It is harder for us to hang out during week vacations because we need to get rides places and our parents aren't usually home during the week. I wish I could stay somewhere else for a little while, but I don't think I have anywhere to go.
You can look up bus routes. Or ride your bike. When I'm feeling like I want to get away, I skateboard really far. I'm like Forest Gump on a skateboard, I just keep going and going, until I'm feeling tired, then call home for a ride when I'm ready to come home.
Lots of other people are in this same boat, or at least a boat next to it
With my friends, I feel so free and happy. I can be out with my friends at the movies or a chruch activity or whatever, and Im so open and extroverted and outgoing. At home, I feel angry and... depressed, I guess. I love my family (well, parents- everyone else is at college) but they just... bug me. I feel like I cant expose myself or tell them how I really feel, for fear of dissapointing them. But thats not it either. Also, I simply dont want to expose myself to them, because I just tend to keep to myself. And I just dont make much sense to myself, because so many thoughts are flying through my head all day, and they never really stay long enough for me to make sense of them. When you say "I don't know what it is, cuz my family is great but something is just off, I feel like I really need to get away and find out who I am and where I belong. And when I'm at school or when I am with Dan, that's what I am finding out" thats exactly how I am, except with a friend, not a relative. Something is missing from my life, from me, but I cant find what it is. And it bugs me to no end... I want to make it right, but I dont know how, and nothing makes it better. I want to just run away from it all, but I have no where to run to. And no means of taking care of myself if I do Whenever I feel like this, I turn to drawing. Im not that good, but it lets me escape. I can put my feelings down in a solid form, that I might be able to understand. Maybe, I can find myself through my drawings (yeah, it sounds cheesy, but hey ) Plus, my drawing abilities are improving greatly. I think you need to find an escape that you can use, wether its writing, skating, running, sleeping even. It will take a load off your mind, even if only for a little while, and make the road to finding yourself less bumpy
The older you get the more freedom you will want. The older you get and the longer you stay at home it is going to be the same way. Once you move out you will understand why your parents were the way they are. You will begin to respect the decisions they made were to help you out and get you aware of the harsh surroundings of life.
I am 22 and still living at home. This is very hard for me since I want my freedom but I am understanding why my mom still treats me like a kids to to prepare me for the outside world.