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Old 04-15-2004, 07:17 PM   #1
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somuchbetter HB User
past history ruining my life

okay i am really inlove with my neighbor and he tells me he would like me alot if i wasnt a "****" i have slept with 9 people since i was 14 and now im 17 i dont consider myself a a **** but alot of people do. so im wondering how to make him understand i would never cheat or do anything to hurt him? okay one thing i forgot to add is that we were going out until someone told him i was a **** and he broke up with me.

 
Old 04-16-2004, 06:31 AM   #2
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Re: past history ruining my life

Well if he broke up with you because of you past then he is not a good person to be with to begin with. I am sure you are in love with him but think about this....If he really loved you he would stay even though someone told him a rumor.

If you try to work things out with him just be cautious..This guy doesn't sound like someone I would be with...I hope you see my point

 
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Old 04-16-2004, 10:21 AM   #3
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Re: past history ruining my life

this doesn't sound like a good guy at all...i know a lot of people like to get testing done if someone they are with has a past, but it's left at that...i've slept with 7 people since i was 15 and i'm only 23...but does my hubby care? no, i was testing the waters and just doing teenage things...not that im proud of my behavior...but any man that truly cares about you will get a test done and then leave the past as the past...

 
Old 04-16-2004, 10:33 AM   #4
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Re: past history ruining my life

First of all you need to seriously SLLLOOOWW down your "love life". As others have said lust and love are not the same thing. You really should take a look at why you've had so many partners in such a small amount of time. Not just because of the reputation that can get you but mostly for your health! And not just your physical health (although that is a serious issue) but also your mental health. Eventually this behavior will start to hurt you. Heck it already is it sounds.

Now as for this guy. My first instinct is to say he's a jerk for judging you based off your past. But then my second thought is... well part of me can't blame him. Please don't take that wrong. I am sure you are being honest that you'd never cheat on him or hurt him or anything. But put yourself in his shoes. Say there was a guy you liked and you found out he'd had a ton of partners in a short amount of time. Wouldn't you be a bit worried? Most women would. Most women would think that that shows a bit of a lack of respect for sex, women, and monogomy. They'd also be worried about STDs.

My point is that he has a right to be a little taken aback and hesitant about getting into a relationship with you after learning about this. This does NOT mean you are a **** or anything. It just means that what you do in life will reflect on you as a person. And while it may be in the past and you have changed people are going to judge you by these things no matter how unfair that may sound.

So what should you do? Talk to him. Tell him how you feel and how you have changed. Ask him if he'd be willing to give you a second chance to proove you are faithful. But also respect the fact that he might not be comfortable with this right now. And if so then let him be. Maybe after some time he'll see that you have changed.

Good luck and I hope you didn't take any offense with my post. I was by NO means trying to insult you. We all do things in life that paint us in a light that might not be who we really are. So I am by NO means judging you.

 
Old 04-16-2004, 11:00 AM   #5
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Re: past history ruining my life

Great thoughts JLKH

Its true she should ask for another chance, but I still feel sketch about this guy.

I know if some told me that about my GF I wouldn't break up with her right off. This is a matter that I would sit and talk to her about. I would make it clear that I will be on the shetchy side when she goes out because of the past but my main goal would be to build on the present and hopefully future with her.

 
Old 04-16-2004, 11:22 AM   #6
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Re: past history ruining my life

Oh this guy could still be a creap. I'm not saying he's right to dump her. Just that I can see where he might be coming from. Granted he should have talked it over with her first. But if he's 17 like she is then doing the "grown up" mature thing like talking it over first is not always what 17 year olds do.

 
Old 04-16-2004, 11:38 AM   #7
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Re: past history ruining my life

Quote:
Originally Posted by JLKH
Oh this guy could still be a creap. I'm not saying he's right to dump her. Just that I can see where he might be coming from. Granted he should have talked it over with her first. But if he's 17 like she is then doing the "grown up" mature thing like talking it over first is not always what 17 year olds do.

lol its true thats not what most 17 yrs old due. They jump on one thing and find the easiest way out. But now the case is her trying to get him back. He has a warning sign of his forehead but hopefully he is not the guy I am thinking he is.

HE needs to just cool off and face the real world; which it to love and make commitment. She love him but the question is how much does he love her?

 
Old 04-16-2004, 06:55 PM   #8
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Re: past history ruining my life

Playing devil's advocate here, but if I were in his spot, I'd think you weren't serious about a relationship, but the only thing I'd do differently is talk to you about it, before making any decisions, like ending a relationship.

 
Old 04-19-2004, 07:09 AM   #9
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Re: past history ruining my life

Even though i could be wrong, i do understand his standpoint somewhat. I do think what he said was wrong, but i would feel the exact same way. Promiscuity is strongly against my moral code. It isnt something set up by a religeon or anything, just something i beleive. To me, if a girl has slept with that many people in such a short span of time, she doesnt seem worth the time. Odd for a guy, but i actually turned down and walked away from MANY chances to have sex with many people from the ages 14-17, and finally, i had my first time with a girl that i was in love with. Im young and my defenition of love is probably skewed since im a stupid teenager, but to me, that was better than going out and wasting it. If he finds himself to take you, then he's definately not like me. Sorry if this seems like criticism, im just trying to let you understand the opposite standpoint. Good luck.

 
Old 04-19-2004, 03:44 PM   #10
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Re: past history ruining my life

Quote:
Originally Posted by JLKH
Oh this guy could still be a creap. I'm not saying he's right to dump her. Just that I can see where he might be coming from. Granted he should have talked it over with her first. But if he's 17 like she is then doing the "grown up" mature thing like talking it over first is not always what 17 year olds do.
hes 14

 
Old 04-19-2004, 04:19 PM   #11
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Re: past history ruining my life

Quote:
Originally Posted by somuchbetter
hes 14
Whoa!! He's 14?!

Okay that changes everything in my opinion.

If you two have had sex you need to know that you could have broken the law depending on what state you are in. And if you turn 18 any time soon then you seriously need to back off from him. He's a kid and you could get in a lot of trouble.

Now that being said. I suggest you just try and be his friend, and not try and pressure any sort of relationship.

 
Old 04-20-2004, 03:38 PM   #12
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somuchbetter HB User
Re: past history ruining my life

Quote:
Originally Posted by JLKH
Whoa!! He's 14?!

Okay that changes everything in my opinion.

If you two have had sex you need to know that you could have broken the law depending on what state you are in. And if you turn 18 any time soon then you seriously need to back off from him. He's a kid and you could get in a lot of trouble.

Now that being said. I suggest you just try and be his friend, and not try and pressure any sort of relationship.
true i shouldnt and we never had sex

 
Old 04-21-2004, 06:51 AM   #13
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Re: past history ruining my life

Yuhy if he is 14 that would break a law in any state. Some states have an age of consent of the age 16 but then there are laws to that. The best advice for me to give you is dont' do it but if your curious call a lawers office and check the state law with them.

 
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