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Old 06-11-2004, 08:22 PM   #1
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slamdunkergrl13 HB User
Unhappy Cheating?

hi...i have a serious problem. Ok i am stuck between two guys....one i have been goin out with for six months and the other we have been best friends for two years. I love em both dearly...if u have any ideas how to handle this pleez give me any ideas. Secondly...i feel realy guilty.....is this cheating...My guy friend was over tonight and i like put my head on his shoulder(which is totally friend wise) But then he grabbed my hand. And i didn't resist. I mean i feel realy bad bout it now. But is someting like that considered cheating...cuz me and him used to do it all the time but this was before me and my boyfriend were goin out. Am i just making a big deal out of nothing or did i seriously cheat on my boyfriend(who i love dearly). PLEEZ HELP.....

 
Old 06-12-2004, 07:33 AM   #2
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6roxychick9 HB User
Thumbs up Re: Cheating?

hey gurl,
sorry no one replied ya messasge...i know how it feels haha
putting your head on someones shoulder is not playing/cheating,especially if you done it b4 but might get ya partner jealous, althoug two timing is [playin]. you have options

1)For less risk: debate on which one to break up with.....since one is your best friend then maybe you should break up with him, because, imagine what will happen if y'all break up...therez a fifty fifty percent chance that you wont be friends any more.... so break it to him nicely say "this just isnt the same..you know, you and me, we used to be alot comfortable next to eachother when we weren't dating, i felt so much better with you i mean i could be myself" and stuff like that and if you really are best friends then he'll buy it and he wont get ****** but if he'll throw a fight or one of their "WHAT THA ****** ARE YOU SAYING?" moments then he wasn't a best friend he was just out to get some, or just to date you.

2)if you wanna take a risk : play them.....two-time, whatever you wanna call it! and eventually you'll see which one is really worth your time....coz i know not alot of guyz are worth mine....just make sure that u dont have one of those dumbass excuses some of us have when we dont watch our mouths haha "my grand mother is sick i gotta take care of her" or "i have to watch my brother" if one of them asks you out on a date on the same day then say you got plans with a friend, or friends, coz if he'll catch you you wont have to make up excuses, you can just say this is "my good friend jay" or whatever.....and then when he asks you (the guy you're with) "oh so im just a good friend?" dont break it to him just tell him you dont want people to know until you know the relation ship is fo real!

lol any wayz if you decide to dump one of them go for your good friend...and if he does get ****** dont cry coz its over smile becoz it happened..if you decide to play them...therre aint no shame or blame in that! have fun![ removed ]

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Old 06-12-2004, 08:07 AM   #3
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justme_ HB User
Re: Cheating?

Well they always say boyfriends come and go, friends stay forever?

 
Old 06-12-2004, 08:29 AM   #4
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eightball61 HB User
Re: Cheating?

Its not fair to to the both of them if you are playing head games. I realize that you mind is mixed up but you do have a boyfriend. You say you love him dearly but in a way you don't because you didn't resist on holding another guys hand.

Having mix feelings is normal but you have to chose. No matter what a guys heart will be broken. MY suggestion is keep your boyfriend and explain to your friend that you can't do that anymore. Let him know that you have feelings for him but you cant take it that route yet. If you want you mind at ease then break it off with your BF until you decide but I wouldn't do that until the last possible route.

 
Old 06-12-2004, 08:43 AM   #5
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brandypitt HB User
Re: Cheating?

Advice from a young married woman: tread lightly! You may not have cheated yet, but if you are torn emotionally between two guys, it's real easy to step over the line. Pick which relationship is more important, because play game is bad for all three of you. It is not okay to hurt someone intentionally.

 
Old 06-12-2004, 09:30 AM   #6
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eightball61 HB User
Re: Cheating?

Quote:
Originally Posted by brandypitt
Advice from a young married woman: tread lightly! You may not have cheated yet, but if you are torn emotionally between two guys, it's real easy to step over the line. Pick which relationship is more important, because play game is bad for all three of you. It is not okay to hurt someone intentionally.

Good advice & welcome

 
Old 06-12-2004, 07:08 PM   #7
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slamdunkergrl13 HB User
Re: Cheating?

Hi guys well her is what i did...i told my boyfriend what happened..he took it very well acutally....and i told my best friend that if it is goin to be that way then i can't hang with im anymore and he promised it wouldn't. I am so glad i did it this was cuz i no realize how much i love my boyfriend!! Thanx guyz

 
Old 06-13-2004, 08:19 AM   #8
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eightball61 HB User
Re: Cheating?

Quote:
Originally Posted by slamdunkergrl13
Hi guys well her is what i did...i told my boyfriend what happened..he took it very well acutally....and i told my best friend that if it is goin to be that way then i can't hang with im anymore and he promised it wouldn't. I am so glad i did it this was cuz i no realize how much i love my boyfriend!! Thanx guyz

You handled the situation like an adult would. You did good and both guys were happy with the decision....I pat on the back for you but just don't let it happen again...lol

 
Old 06-13-2004, 08:46 PM   #9
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PhAtTyJ6559 HB User
Re: Cheating?

Quote:
Originally Posted by slamdunkergrl13
hi...i have a serious problem. Ok i am stuck between two guys....one i have been goin out with for six months and the other we have been best friends for two years. I love em both dearly...if u have any ideas how to handle this pleez give me any ideas. Secondly...i feel realy guilty.....is this cheating...My guy friend was over tonight and i like put my head on his shoulder(which is totally friend wise) But then he grabbed my hand. And i didn't resist. I mean i feel realy bad bout it now. But is someting like that considered cheating...cuz me and him used to do it all the time but this was before me and my boyfriend were goin out. Am i just making a big deal out of nothing or did i seriously cheat on my boyfriend(who i love dearly). PLEEZ HELP.....
gurl that isnt cheating!!!!! if u kissed him, then it kinda would be, aight well, it would be cheating, butif he just held ur hand its not cheating!!!!

ur making a big deal out of pretty much nothing

 
Old 06-14-2004, 06:50 AM   #10
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eightball61 HB User
Re: Cheating?

Quote:
Originally Posted by PhAtTyJ6559
gurl that isnt cheating!!!!! if u kissed him, then it kinda would be, aight well, it would be cheating, butif he just held ur hand its not cheating!!!!

ur making a big deal out of pretty much nothing

I don't know if you are male or female but would you mind your BF or GF to hold hands with the opposite sex while watching a movie?

Holding handing is a sign of liking that person and you are showing those feelings holding hands. Do you hold your moms or dads hand while watching a movie?

ts not right and shouldn't be done in my book.

 
Old 06-14-2004, 06:55 AM   #11
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wizzii HB User
Re: Cheating?

[QUOTE=eightball61] You say you love him dearly but in a way you don't because you didn't resist on holding another guys hand.

She said they used to do that with her besty b4 she was going out with her man....so maybe holding his hand didnt mean n e thing to her (in a b/f and g/f kinda way).... catch ya l8er

 
Old 06-14-2004, 07:19 AM   #12
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eightball61 HB User
Re: Cheating?

Quote:
Originally Posted by wizzii
She said they used to do that with her besty b4 she was going out with her man....so maybe holding his hand didnt mean n e thing to her (in a b/f and g/f kinda way).... catch ya l8er

She has done this before but when you are in a relationship it is morally wrong. It can hurt the feelings of the opposite sex. You may mean no wrong to it but that opens yourself up and most people don't like to share.

She also stated that "yes" she does like them both but having a boyfriend she has to make a choice. She did make that choice and she is sticking with her BF for now. I think she made the right one.

 
Old 06-14-2004, 09:38 AM   #13
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slamdunkergrl13 HB User
Re: Cheating?

Hi guyz....i guess after telling my bf what happened that i realize that i just dont like my best friend that way. I think why i thought that was becuz my best friend always tells me he loves me and he wants to be with my forever and i guess that just really made me think. But after the whole incident i no now that i dont like my best friend. And yes holding hands didn't mean anything to me but i think it did to my best friend so i had to talk to him.. Lol and i still hold my daddy's hand...(not in a bad way of course) I no it isn't much of a big deal cuz i didn't kiss the other guy or anything but i am just really really glad that i told my boyfriend and he is behind me 100% and he understands..he didn't even get angry at me....thank goodnes...

 
Old 06-14-2004, 09:59 AM   #14
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eightball61 HB User
Re: Cheating?

Quote:
Originally Posted by slamdunkergrl13
Hi guyz....i guess after telling my bf what happened that i realize that i just dont like my best friend that way. I think why i thought that was becuz my best friend always tells me he loves me and he wants to be with my forever and i guess that just really made me think. But after the whole incident i no now that i dont like my best friend. And yes holding hands didn't mean anything to me but i think it did to my best friend so i had to talk to him.. Lol and i still hold my daddy's hand...(not in a bad way of course) I no it isn't much of a big deal cuz i didn't kiss the other guy or anything but i am just really really glad that i told my boyfriend and he is behind me 100% and he understands..he didn't even get angry at me....thank goodnes...

Would you like you BF to hold another girls hand or sleep innocently in her bed?

I may be going a little off the topic but to the person that is doing the action they always see no wrong doing but you need to think about your BF's feeling and what he can accept.

If he feels that its ok to hold another guys hand then that is great but you cant judge his opinion. He may have not got angry but that could be one of 2 things; 1. He notice that you realize that it was wrong and you were honest about it 2. He is like me and doesn't like to show feelings, emotions, or anger that well.

You have made the right decision with just liking one guy but you need to openly talk to your BF and see what he thinks about it.

 
Old 07-19-2004, 02:22 AM   #15
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theoldnite HB User
Re: Cheating?

I don't think that's cheating... But you're in a pickle there, best friend, boyfriend... Aiyo.

 
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