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Old 07-23-2004, 10:53 AM   #1
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BaBiiGiRLCHeeKS HB User
Question PLeaSe HeLP i NeeD aDViCe!!!

Hey. This is the first time i ever posted anything on here. but i really just need some advice on what to do. well im 16 and ive been wanting to have a child since i was 12. but i didnt lose my virginity till i was 14. when i was 15 i had got pregnant by this boy and me and him was having a hard time trying to figure out what to do because he was 18 and thats considered statutory rape. so i said that i wanted an abortion and he didnt want me to. so we stopped talking. when i was 4 months pregnant i found out that i was having twins and i just couldnt deal with that so i had an abortion. but now i feel so bad cause those were my kids. and i really wanted them but i dont think i could have handled that. so my mom put me on birth control and im on the depo shot and now i really want to have a child. i dont know if im just going through phases or what. but i want to get off of depo real bad. the boy that got me pregnant i still talk to him now. i just really dont know what to do. but i do know that i want a baby before im 18. see im going to graduate when im still 16 so i think after i graduate i will be okay to have a baby. i dont know though

 
Old 07-23-2004, 11:58 AM   #2
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alleycat HB User
Re: PLeaSe HeLP i NeeD aDViCe!!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by BaBiiGiRLCHeeKS
Hey. This is the first time i ever posted anything on here. but i really just need some advice on what to do. well im 16 and ive been wanting to have a child since i was 12. but i didnt lose my virginity till i was 14. when i was 15 i had got pregnant by this boy and me and him was having a hard time trying to figure out what to do because he was 18 and thats considered statutory rape. so i said that i wanted an abortion and he didnt want me to. so we stopped talking. when i was 4 months pregnant i found out that i was having twins and i just couldnt deal with that so i had an abortion. but now i feel so bad cause those were my kids. and i really wanted them but i dont think i could have handled that. so my mom put me on birth control and im on the depo shot and now i really want to have a child. i dont know if im just going through phases or what. but i want to get off of depo real bad. the boy that got me pregnant i still talk to him now. i just really dont know what to do. but i do know that i want a baby before im 18. see im going to graduate when im still 16 so i think after i graduate i will be okay to have a baby. i dont know though
Why do you feel you need a baby at such a young age. Yes Children are so cute and stuff but do you really feel you are ready for such a responsiblity. Are you prepared to stay up long hours and provide for your child by yourself? Because alot of times the guy will split (not always). If you chose to have a baby at such a young age you may eventually regret it. After becoming a mommy you will no longer have the life of a teenager. I have lots of friends who became parents at young ages most of them where older than you. although they love their childern they tell me often how they wished that they would have waited. These may be things you will want to take into consideration before deciding to have a child. Why don't you find a teen mother in your neigborhood and interview her or take care of her baby for a nights then you can see what it is like to be a teen mother.
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Last edited by alleycat; 07-23-2004 at 11:59 AM.

 
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Old 07-23-2004, 12:09 PM   #3
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Aqua-Norma HB User
Re: PLeaSe HeLP i NeeD aDViCe!!!

Your still a baby yourself buy a puppy girl!!!
I am 22yrs and when I was a teen I wanted a baby too until I was left to look after my 3yr old nephew and that pretty much put me off for now. I still want kids but not until I have done alot more with my life, I need to be both financially and emotionally secure for the baby's sake. I don't want to be in a position where in a few years time I start to dislike the child because I missed out on a party or a really cool pair of jeans because nothing fits anymore.
Please think about this carefully not for your sake but for the baby.

 
Old 07-23-2004, 12:41 PM   #4
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SpeisFamily HB User
Re: PLeaSe HeLP i NeeD aDViCe!!!

OK, I was 15 when I lost my virginity and me and my BF tried to have a baby starting at age 16. Well at 17 I was pregnant. I always wanted to be a mom. I was ready, I had taken courses in school for child care and even did some college courses for child care. I was not stupid, I had a 4.0 grade point average. I thought it was wonderful, until I gave birth. You see, when I gave birth, not only was it painful, but after holding my daughter I had a realization: This is REAL. This is not just a "baby" I have to raise this baby, it will be a toddler, a preschooler, a little girl, a teenager. I have to provide evrything for her. She is going to want a car, to go to college, I will have to plan for her wedding.

You see I wanted a "Baby" but never thought about it growing up. I know exactly how you feel, and no matter how many people told me not to do it, it was my life. But now I know, it was not just my life. I was making a decision for this baby. Thank God that me and the boy I lost my virginity to are now married. But please, if you will listen, please just wait. Do you want a career? Do you want to go clubbing? Do you want to meet the right guy and get married?

Let me guess, you don't like your mom much, your dad isn't around, and you would rather not hang with your friends. You feel lonely. You want someone you can love who will always love you back. I KNOW, I was there. Let me tell you where you can find all of that, on your knees. God loves you girl!!! Come to him and talk to him, ask him for help.

I got saved 8 years ago when my daughter was in the hospital with spinal meningitis. She was only 15 months old and my husband and I were told to prepare funeral arrangements. A friend asked if her church could pray for our daughter,I said yes because I needed a miracle. Two weeks later my daughter was released from the hospital with not one complication left over from this illness the doctors said she would not survive. I knew her recovery was a miracle of God and decided to pay a visit to this church and thank them for their prayers. When I got there, it was different than anything I had ever experienced. I could feel God's presence and it felt good. I realized that I owed thanks to God and when the alter call came I did just that, I thanked him, asked him to forgive me and gave my life wholely to him. It has been a struggle to live a Christian life but without God I was only ruining my life. I thank God everyday for not only my daughter, but for the new life he has given to me and my family.

Last edited by SpeisFamily; 07-23-2004 at 12:49 PM.

 
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Old 07-23-2004, 12:59 PM   #5
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eightball61 HB User
Re: PLeaSe HeLP i NeeD aDViCe!!!

Babies are great and cute but you want to wait. HAving a baby will just trun your life all around. You want to make sure that you are finacially stable, have a guy that will stay to be the daddy, and you got an education.

 
Old 07-23-2004, 08:04 PM   #6
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hisgirltoo HB User
Re: PLeaSe HeLP i NeeD aDViCe!!!

I was 17 when my daughter was born. Shes the light of my life, but I was a terrible mom when I was young. It was hard for me to be there for her when she was small when I was so worried about myself. Im sure your very mature for your age, and it seems like a good idea. But if you want a baby, you should also want what is best for it, and a mommy who can give it attention and love and the best adult home she can, would be better for your child. Love isnt enough, even though we all wish it was. Money, time, sleepless nights, vomit, diapers that run over, leaking breast from breastfeeding. Its not easy.

I have twins, and since youve already been pregnant with twins, PLEASE remember it could happen again, its VERY possible for women who have twins once, to be able to have them again. So REALLY consider how much more two babies will be. Like I said, I have twins, and just in baby gear the first year I spent over $2000.00, not including diapers and clothes. One of my girls was hospitialized with dehydration and had a seizure because she had vomited for many days, all over everything, including me.

When you find out your having a baby, you think of loving it, and it loving you, and holding it and rocking it. And all thats true, and its a beautiful thing.....but Im 26 now, and even I was unprepared for twins, the money, and then when my little girl was hospitialized, even I wanted to walk away, cause I wasnt sure I could handle it, and Im 26.

Its not about a baby, its about being a good parent to that baby, and doing what it takes, and sacrificing yourself and your goals to do it. If you cant do that, or think that even for one second you might want something you cant have with a baby, PLEAsE give it a second thought. SOmeday that baby will grow up and ask you questions about its life, and why things happened. Make sure you have good answers.

Good Luck! Ive always said that if young girls could come into my home, see my body before pregnancy, and what it looks like now, and see the money I spend, and the illnesses they have, and the fear I live with wondering if Im doing all I can to be the best I can, I would open my home in a minute, and hope I changed minds. Not just for the babies, but for the girls too. I gave up my life for my kids, and although I do not regret it, sometimes I wish someone had done it for me.

 
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