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Old 01-03-2005, 07:55 PM   #1
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Exclamation Why 15 yr female Can't date Men 18 and up?

So I'm trying to help my mom out because my 15 yr old sister wants to date men 18 and over and of course it's prohibited yet she is mature and we trust her not to have sex and therefore she wants specific reasons from us for the rule..can you all list some reasons we can give her to make the no 18 and over rule more firm, thnx.

 
Old 01-03-2005, 08:09 PM   #2
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Re: Why 15 yr female Can't date Men 18 and up?

Would she date a twelve year old? Why not? Because there is a small but important age gap. also a woman body isn't mature enough at fifteen.God forbid her little body got pg, she could really be hurt. He is now considered an adult and he could go to jail. If someone loves her then they will wait for her. I bet by the time she turns eighteen and he is 21 year old are already into legally drinking and not too many young men want to hang out with an underaged girl who can't get into clubs. When the age difference is when they are older then maybe but too many transistions go on when your young and things to not stay the same, in the long run she will be saving herself from hurt. She should be a kid for as long as possible...it goes really fast once you hit eighteen and things change. Good luck

 
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Old 01-03-2005, 10:46 PM   #3
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Re: Why 15 yr female Can't date Men 18 and up?

I actually believe it is much safer to date guys around your age when you are that young. When I was that age I was dating men 18 and older and eventually I got raped by one of them and fell deep into drugs with another one. I believe my first mistake was dating older men, and now wish that I would have just waited and stopped trying to go out with older men. Hope this helps..

 
Old 01-04-2005, 12:41 AM   #4
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Re: Why 15 yr female Can't date Men 18 and up?

Quote:
Originally Posted by JS22
So I'm trying to help my mom out because my 15 yr old sister wants to date men 18 and over and of course it's prohibited yet she is mature and we trust her not to have sex and therefore she wants specific reasons from us for the rule..can you all list some reasons we can give her to make the no 18 and over rule more firm, thnx.
Well, technically speaking, legally it's ok for someone over 18 to date someone under 18, but having sex is another story. Kissing, groping, and stuff like that is fine, but any other kind of penetration (use your imagination) is prohibited and deemed illegal. So it's really a matter of a 'yes' or 'no' coming out of your mother's mouth allowing or not allowing your sister to date older men. If your sister is mature and informed enough to make that kind of decision, and she brings the guy home to introduce him to your parent(s), then I don't see what the problem is. It's actually a real test of character and more a test of where his heart lies in the relationship, chances are with the parent(s) involved a lot of men would split. No man in his right mind would do anything to your younger sister knowing that your parent(s) is involved. However, I can imagine there's a high probability that a man dating your sister would cheat on her. Let's be real, she's only 15 and he would have to wait 2-3 more years depending on the state you live in, he's gonna be looking somewhere else to get some, unless he truly loves your sister. In the end, not many men would take a chance dating a girl underage if the parent(s) are involved, especially if he knew himself to be a sexual person, because that would be a ticket to prison.

Not to sound like a perv or pedophile, even though I am only 18 but considered a man by law nonetheless, I find it hard not to look at girls 15 and not have sexual thoughts. And I say this because I'm still in High School and just turned 18. However, I am able to control my feelings and not act on them because I know the dangers if I came across a mother such as yours. What I'm trying to say though is that if your sister is really attractive, then I'd find it hard for any man not to act on their sexual desires, period. I don't care what any man says. People love the unattainable, right?Lets be real not many men are going to date a 15 year old girl based on maturity and intelligence alone, it's obviously because she's attractive.

I know that you didn't ask about the legal matters that could arise but I think it's relevant considering the question you asked.

Last edited by ForgottenFaith; 01-04-2005 at 12:48 AM.

 
Old 01-04-2005, 01:01 AM   #5
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Re: Why 15 yr female Can't date Men 18 and up?

But not every man likes 15 year old girls. She's still a kid. Age differences aren't that big of a deal when it comes to adults.. like 21 yrs. and up, but when it comes to kids, they should date there own age range. Older guys have been around more, well most of em.

 
Old 01-04-2005, 09:54 AM   #6
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Re: Why 15 yr female Can't date Men 18 and up?

Hi JS22, you didn't say why your sister was opposed to the rule, and it does make a difference. Is she opposed to the rule in principle, because she thinks she is mature enough to date 18 year olds in general? Or is there a specific 18 year old she is interested in dating?

In general, here are some reasons off the top of my head:
-3 years is a very large age gap at that age
-they are not peers
-18 year olds are legally allowed to have sex and it is only fair to expect that he will have different expectations from a relationship
-there is something inherently creepy about an 18 year old wanting to date a 15 year old
-she is most likely still in high-school, he could be in college
-depending on where you live, he may be allowed to drink, and she can't, which again emphasizes that they are not peers and he will have different expectations on what they can do together.

My main point would be that they are not peers, and at that age it is very important that teens do 'age-appropriate things'. When one person is allowed to drive, stay out all night, vote, quit school, have sex, possibly drink, and the other isn't, then they are just in two different places in their lives. One person is still a child, and the other is legally an adult.

All this said, on an individual basis, your sister could be very mature, and the fellow she wants to date could be very immature and your parents could actually really like him. But if it's in general, your parents don't need a reason for their rules, they are still her parents and she is still a child. They could make up a rule that says 'you can only date someone up to 18 months older than you, or in your own grade' or whatever and that would be that... I know your sis wouldn't appreciate being called a 'child' but... well, she isn't an adult yet either.

oh, and btw ForgottenFaith, kissing, groping and other stuff is NOT okay. Different states use different terms for it (sexual interference, sexual assault) but they all mean sexual touching and while not as severely punishable as outright statutory rape, it is still illegal. Watch what you say here, make sure you get your facts right.

So this also would relate to your sister, because technically, she might not even be allowed to do more than kiss him, and believe me, there are mighty few 18 year old men who wouldn't want to do a least a little 'petting'.

wow, sorry for the long post!

 
Old 01-04-2005, 03:15 PM   #7
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Re: Why 15 yr female Can't date Men 18 and up?

Why whould an 18, 19 year old guy want to date a 15 year old kid if it wasn't for sex? What would a senior in high school or a freshman in college have in common with a 15 year old girl, no matter how mature she is? But as far as why it's illegal, for the same reason someone under 18 cannot sign a legal contract, no matter how mature they may be. In the eyes of the law, they are minors, and therefore cannot legally give consent to anything, including a legally binding contract or sexual relations. There's no such thing as "consentual relations" with a 15 year old because legally they cannot give consent. Any guy who dates her is risking going to jail. I'd say that right there is a pretty good reason for her not to date them. Even if your mom doesn't turn him in, if his family, friends or an ex girlfriend finds out he's dating a minor, and wants to give him trouble, they sure could make it for him.

 
Old 01-04-2005, 04:58 PM   #8
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Re: Why 15 yr female Can't date Men 18 and up?

guys thank you all sooooooo much for your input! Let me fill in some blanks..my sister has a few friends that date adult men (18-21) so I know that's playing a role..anyways she thinks that age difference with the current guy she is trying to get with which is 18 isn't much and stresses that he ain't 19,20, etc, she says "he just turned 18!" I'm against it because of all the legal abilities an 18 yr old has and because 2-3 year differences equal a higher level of thinking. Also when we stressed the rule recently she started crying and didn't quit for the rest of the night meaning that this guys charm has grabbed ahold of her, should we atleast allow phone contact between them although she is one of those that curls up in a corner and whispers who knows what for hours.

 
Old 01-04-2005, 08:02 PM   #9
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Re: Why 15 yr female Can't date Men 18 and up?

Well, my 16 year old sister is currently in a relationship with a 19-year old guy, but the only reason for that being allowed is a LOT of monitoring by my parents. They don't go anywhere without my parents being there, and have a lot of rules. I personally am not sure if they're responsible enough to handle the relationship, because there are hardly any 15-16 year olds who are that mature. Heck, there are tons of 17, 18, and 19 year olds who aren't that mature. If your sister is mature enough to deal with it, then she is mature enough to know better than to get into a situation that is almost certain to end up in trouble.

 
Old 01-04-2005, 11:36 PM   #10
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Re: Why 15 yr female Can't date Men 18 and up?

Quote:
Originally Posted by JS22
So I'm trying to help my mom out because my 15 yr old sister wants to date men 18 and over and of course it's prohibited yet she is mature and we trust her not to have sex and therefore she wants specific reasons from us for the rule..can you all list some reasons we can give her to make the no 18 and over rule more firm, thnx.
It's up to your parents to set rules for your 15 year old sister. The 18 and over men would be foolish... and stupid to date your sister at her age. You and your parents wouldn't want a foolish and stupid man for a brother-in-law or a son-in-law would you? My second wife was 17 and I was 26 when we started dating. She was an "emancipated minor" leagally. That means that her parents were not legally responsible for her. She lived with her older brother, when I met her. If she had been living with her parents, we would not have gotten together at all. We were married for 10 years

 
Old 01-09-2005, 06:50 PM   #11
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Re: Why 15 yr female Can't date Men 18 and up?

I don't understand what there is you need to "prove" to the 15 year old girl. When did things change so much that parents must now rationalize WHY they make the rules that they make? I'm 31 and when I was a teenager (which wasn't that long ago) what my parents said was the way it was going to be.. it wasn't up for discussion nor did they need to give me a reason for their decision. Usually if I said "why" the response from them was "because these are the rules while you are living under our roof until you are 18 years old and can make your own rules". Although I wasn't happy about it, there was nothing to argue about. Perhaps the 15 year old in this instance needs to be reminded that she is a minor and has to obey the rules of the household she lives in.

 
Old 01-09-2005, 07:11 PM   #12
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Re: Why 15 yr female Can't date Men 18 and up?

"Perhaps the 15 year old in this instance needs to be reminded that she is a minor and has to obey the rules of the household she lives in."
Phoenixbleu,
I second that

 
Old 01-14-2005, 07:36 AM   #13
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Re: Why 15 yr female Can't date Men 18 and up?

I have a 14 year old daughter and if she asked to date a 18 year old I would say NO.She is too young to be dating guys that old.Guys at that age now days think about 1 thing.SEX
I am not ready to be Grandma and I know no 18 year old guy is going to help on raising a baby.She would be a very young single mother and if she wants to go to collage to be anything when she GROWS up that is shot.She has a future of raising that baby.

 
Old 01-14-2005, 08:07 AM   #14
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Kootie Pie HB User
Re: Why 15 yr female Can't date Men 18 and up?

Quote:
Originally Posted by ebaxter21
I actually believe it is much safer to date guys around your age when you are that young. When I was that age I was dating men 18 and older and eventually I got raped by one of them and fell deep into drugs with another one. I believe my first mistake was dating older men, and now wish that I would have just waited and stopped trying to go out with older men. Hope this helps..
I hear ya sister!! I was the same way. thought it was great and I was on top of the world and the greatest thing to come cause I dated older men. They cheated on me, and when I did sleep with them, they just turn around and find another girl just like me and do the same thing to her. what's the old saying - f*** and chuck. I also started doing drugs because of it and am happy to say that I don't do all of them anymore. Unfortunately i still smoke marijuana.
I wish I could go back and change things, cause i wouldn't of dated. She needs to be a kid and be her age, find out things she likes and doesn't like etc. cause if she doesn't, she'll regret it . I still do and I'm 21 now. Still young but i've been through so much it feels as though I'm older. From my experience, just tell her it's really not that great. You think it is at the time I know, but it the end...... And like that other person said, if he really wants to be with her then he will wait. (it's really not just a saying) And the club thing too, cause they'll still go out to them with out you...'oh i'm just going out with the guys'..... yeah to meet girls... why else do you go.
Like I said to my step-sis, there's a reason a 20 something year old is going after a little girl, cause really that's all you are. Why won't women is own age date him??... there's a reason for that........
Just tell her it's a waste of time. And if she wants to do what she wants and be happy, then she should wait til she's at least 18.

 
Old 01-14-2005, 01:35 PM   #15
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Re: Why 15 yr female Can't date Men 18 and up?

my experience w/ older guys sucks! i was 13 and lost mi virginity to a 21 years old... well we talked till i turned 14 which was 6 days later then i found out he had a wife and 2 kids at home... well now that im 15 and i jus saw him at the store 2 days ago we didnt associate or anything... and at the age or 14 i got preg by a 24 year old black guy and im white so mi parents kicked me out till i had a misscarriage which was the hardest thing cuz me and the 24 actually wanted the kid at the time but now i regret it cuz i found out he also has bout 5 kids runnin around.. and now that im 15 im addicted to marijuania and pills and i do a lot of stuff i shouldnt do... but im startin to see where i ********** up and now im going out w/ a 15 year old and honestly hes a month younger then me and i couldnt b happier... i love brad and honestly he loves me n ur sister needs to realize goin w/ older guys will mess ur life up...
good luck...
mj

 
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