It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Teen Health Message Board
Post New Thread   Closed Thread
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 02-23-2005, 02:51 PM   #1
Junior Member
(male)
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Posts: 16
niceguy22 HB User
Unhappy Prom Date Trouble

Senior Prom is coming up and right now I HAVE NO IDEA WHO TO ASK. So, I'm going to try to talk to more girls and become better friends so that, when the time comes, if one turns me down I will not be dateless to prom. If I start having conversations with a girl (who I normally never talk to) after class or in the hallways, I hope she will think that I like her (which I do). However, I also want to have conversations with other girls in the hallway in case the one I'm trying for is not interested. My problem is: what is the second girl going to think when she sees me talking to another girl after class or in the hallways. This is particularly a problem because the two girls I'm interested in are in the same class as me! Do I start talking to one (every other day so don't look too needy or desperate) and then if she's not interested go on to the second? If so, the first girl will see this and then maybe tell the second girl that she's #2. How do I play this? I'm an impatient person so I will most likely jump to conclusions about how a girl feels about me after like 2 quick conversations - how long should I wait before moving on?

I know that guys usually go for one girl and then move on, but this is a special case - for junior prom I went through 4 girls before one finally said yes. I was down to wire, asking girls after just one conversation. That is why I'm so worried about this - I DON"T WANT THAT TO HAPPEN AGAIN. Any Advice? By the way, any tips on how to approach her and what to say would be appreciated too, whatever you can offer.

Last edited by niceguy22; 02-23-2005 at 02:52 PM.

 
Sponsors Lightbulb
   
Old 02-23-2005, 03:20 PM   #2
Junior Member
(male)
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Posts: 37
givemeaname HB User
Re: Prom Date Trouble

ok, well first you have tor ealise that girls arnt toys, they sometimes feel strong emotion when we dont know it and "going to the other" could really hurt someone's confidence and feelings.

living in the UK our girls are different, we have kappa slappas to people like Katie my gf. tips on approach are hard to give unless you know the person becasue every different personality has a different key to the brain.

but basically tips that apply to a wide range of peopl apart from kappa slappas is to just generaly be nice, deep and meaningful. dont go for the slags where you feel you are most likely to get laid, go for the kind girl with the cute smile. trust me it is better for you, plus you are actually more likely to get laid if thats what you are worried about, being it the senior prom and all (watch american pie too much)

so, be nice, friendly, and confidence, confidence is one of the biggest factors to get right. girls like someone (correct me if im wrong) who is confident and does the hard work for them in a sense. say you have this hot girl, wants to get laid, wants to have fun, and she is with this kid with his trousers round his nips and glasses. she wont be happy because ;

he is not confident (oh come on if he was confident and cared about his appearence why would he wear such cloths)

he isnt relaxed (being relaxed and comfortable is a good thing because it makes girls feel secure)

he dosnt care about how he looks (call me or anyone else like this a puff but it is a good idea to look at yourself in the mirror and make sure every day before you go out that you look correct, it is good to care about your appearence)

she has to do all the hard work!!!

think this way, girls are lazy and like it when you do things for them (im sure your not but im using this to prove a point) so, make the first moves and be cofident with yourself.
say she likes you and you like her, dont just stand there and wait for her to kiss you, make the first move, dont be too forward, it might scare her, but kiss her gently and leave there room for her to further the..."activity"

ok but after typing that im guessing that you want some tips on how to tlk to girls?

just start speaking to them, thats it, just ask them a question, in a relaxed friendly manner and build upon their answer e.g.

you: Man this lesson is boring

her: yea talk about it

you: what other subjects do you do? (in UK schools we dont all do the same classes)

her: History and biology

you: ah kewl u like em? i always considerd history but thought it wasnt my kind of thing <---- (notice the way i turned the sentence from a 1 comment/question shootout to a 2 comment/question shootout, this makes the conversation more exiting and more likely to be picked up)

her: yea they are good <----- (she kills the convo)

you: you ok? <------ (lol this is gonna sound cheesey but sometimes this can work well)

her: yea what do i look rough?

you: No you look great but you sound like you dont wanna talk <------- (straight to the point and you commented on her, now you did not focus the sentence on the comment about her, but she took it in subconciously)


etc. you get the idea

oh yea, dont worry about talking to more than one girl, it makes them jelouse and they will try to win you over, this is great, aslong as it dosnt become physical. once you have people fighting over you the pick is yours, happend to me at the beggining of year 10.

Guy

 
Old 02-23-2005, 03:38 PM   #3
Junior Member
(male)
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Posts: 16
niceguy22 HB User
Re: Prom Date Trouble

Thanks for the tip, in my HS, kids actually want to learn so it's very hard to say more than a quick comment without getting noticed by the teacher. If I talk to more than one girl they will fight over me? - how does that persuade me to "not worry about talking to more than one girl". Ne how, I don't think either of these girls is really into me, I'm hoping to win them over with confidence and stuff, but if they not obviously enjoying it, I'll just stop. Also, does that "are you ok" line really work, seems kinda sappy and intrusive.

 
Old 02-23-2005, 06:28 PM   #4
Veteran
(male)
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: LA,CA,USA
Posts: 397
ForgottenFaith HB User
Re: Prom Date Trouble

Quote:
Originally Posted by niceguy22
Thanks for the tip, in my HS, kids actually want to learn so it's very hard to say more than a quick comment without getting noticed by the teacher. If I talk to more than one girl they will fight over me? - how does that persuade me to "not worry about talking to more than one girl". Ne how, I don't think either of these girls is really into me, I'm hoping to win them over with confidence and stuff, but if they not obviously enjoying it, I'll just stop. Also, does that "are you ok" line really work, seems kinda sappy and intrusive.
How exactly do you beg someone to talk? And you honestly don't know the post starter of this thread, so you can't suggest he say "fine, your the one losing out". I'm not a girl but I don't think they will see it as "I need to get better", they'll see it as him being conceited, joking around, or whatever, but not to be taken serious.


Anyways, you're in a rough situation because you got both these girls in the same class. Girls talk and they're not stupid. Your attitude and your game towards both these girls has to remain constant and it won't remain that way if you go from girl to girl each day. It will look shady if you do that. Narrow it down to one girl and work your game with her, and if you're not feeling the girl and the connection ain't there, then go on to girl number 2. You're going to have to put in work and not be impatient and jump to conclusions. This is prom you're talking about, it only comes once in a lifetime and you're wanting to take one of these girls, both whom you've never actually talk to. Set the tone and don't try to establish too much a friendship and show this girl that you're interested. You need to ease your way in without her considering you too much of a friend. You want her to see you as a potential boyfriend or prom date.

Last edited by ForgottenFaith; 02-23-2005 at 06:34 PM.

 
Old 02-23-2005, 06:54 PM   #5
Junior Member
(male)
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Posts: 16
niceguy22 HB User
Re: Prom Date Trouble

ForgottenFaith, u have been helping me out here tremendously. Your advice is always so logical & pertinent. I really liked your response, but I have one question. Speaking from very little experience, if a girl is not into you at first, should you just give up or keep trying? I've heard that girls don't like it when a guy who they're not interested in keeps pursuing them. If there's no definite sign of a "NO!" should I keep talking to her in hopes she will open up or just assume she's not gonan go for me and move on. I mean, if a girl is not into me immediately, she's not worth the effort right? (Conceited I know but how am I wrong?) If she's not completely into me at first, do I try and work on her? I heard that girls don't like it when guys try to convince them to like them. I know friends is first, but if that's the case, then why can't I talk to both girls at the same time? Obviously I'm interested, but you said I should be patient and ease my way in, if so should I completely ignore the other girl until I give up on the 1st? Not obssesively obviously, but is like 2-3 times a week catching up wit her outside class good to ease my way in?

Hopefully you can give me more advice on this, I'm really confused

 
Old 02-23-2005, 06:58 PM   #6
Junior Member
(male)
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Posts: 16
niceguy22 HB User
Re: Prom Date Trouble

Also, if I happen to see one of these girls walking back from lunch or in the halls by herself, is it okay to walk up and talk to her? How much is too much? I think you were right about not being too overbearing, I tend to force things so this would an important thing to understand.

 
Old 02-23-2005, 07:44 PM   #7
Junior Member
(male)
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Posts: 16
niceguy22 HB User
Re: Prom Date Trouble

I was just thinking, going along with the whole "easing" into a relationship. How do I make sure I don't come on too strong. Marching right into a conversation with a total stranger seems okay with me, but when I approach a girl I hardly talk to and ask her how she is and compliment her on what she's wearing, it seems a little forward to me. I want to just march up to this girl and start talking, but I don't want to seem suspicious either. Ne help?

 
Old 02-24-2005, 11:52 AM   #8
Veteran
(male)
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: LA,CA,USA
Posts: 397
ForgottenFaith HB User
Re: Prom Date Trouble

Quote:
Originally Posted by niceguy22
1)If a girl is not into you at first, should you just give up or keep trying? I've heard that girls don't like it when a guy who they're not interested in keeps pursuing them. If there's no definite sign of a "NO!" should I keep talking to her in hopes she will open up or just assume she's not gonan go for me and move on. I mean, if a girl is not into me immediately, she's not worth the effort right? (Conceited I know but how am I wrong?) If she's not completely into me at first, do I try and work on her? I heard that girls don't like it when guys try to convince them to like them. I know friends is first, but if that's the case, then why can't I talk to both girls at the same time? Obviously I'm interested, but you said I should be patient and ease my way in, if so should I completely ignore the other girl until I give up on the 1st? Not obssesively obviously, but is like 2-3 times a week catching up wit her outside class good to ease my way in?
Like I said before, if you want a girl you have to put in work. Whether or not to give up if she doesn't like you initially is really up to you. I've always felt that your efforts should increase along with your increasing desire that you have for the girl. Don't be too persistent or clingy though, you need to give the girl space. You should be able to tell when too much is too much, you're just trying to get this girl to like you after-all, not marry you. Some girls might be straight-forward and tell you they're not interested or hint you that they like other guys, but the key is to focus on their body language. Girls can say one thing, but their body language is saying another, so keep notice of that. Don't be persistent with a girl if you feel the relationship won't go anywhere, because you don't want the girl to feel like you're forcing her to like you. You never know. Sometimes I gave up on girls thinking it was going no where, but they came back looking for me. Girls notice the change in attention you give them. And for your last question. Catching the girl when she's away from her friends is the best time to catch her, because you get to see what she's really about, so catching her outside of class and alone is the best time to catch her.

Quote:
Originally Posted by niceguy22
2)Also, if I happen to see one of these girls walking back from lunch or in the halls by herself, is it okay to walk up and talk to her? How much is too much? I think you were right about not being too overbearing, I tend to force things so this would an important thing to understand.
Sure. The best time to catch a girl is when she is alone. Talk to the girl about things that you know you two have in common, such as having the same class together, and once you've broken the ice you can go on from there. As far as how much is too much, it depends really. The girl isn't going to come out say too much is too much, but her body language might suggest so.





Quote:
Originally Posted by niceguy22
I was just thinking, going along with the whole "easing" into a relationship. How do I make sure I don't come on too strong. Marching right into a conversation with a total stranger seems okay with me, but when I approach a girl I hardly talk to and ask her how she is and compliment her on what she's wearing, it seems a little forward to me. I want to just march up to this girl and start talking, but I don't want to seem suspicious either. Ne help?
You won't come off as too strong if you change up the attention that you give her and of course not coming off as too strong in what you say. Like one day you can give her your undivided attention and the next day you give her less or none ( I learned this and it works well). If the girl doesn't like you then she could care less but if she does like you, then it will drive her nuts because she'll wonder if she did something wrong. Be relaxed and cool when you approach the girl, while remaining confident that way you won't come off as suspicious (even though you will), but at least she'll be less nervous. The reason why I say you will come off as suspicious is due to the fact that you approached her, because that alone is indicative that you find something about her attractive.

Last edited by ForgottenFaith; 02-24-2005 at 11:59 AM.

 
Old 02-24-2005, 12:52 PM   #9
Junior Member
(male)
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Posts: 37
givemeaname HB User
Re: Prom Date Trouble

ok its really hard to chose as every situation is different.

if a girl really hates and despises you, then just move on.

but if a girl kidna likes you, but dont really know you enuff to make a judgement, you have to somehow make yourself apart of her life, e.g. by being her friend, but if you wanna take her out to the prom which i assume is soon you dont neccecarily wanna be her best buddy.

it is well hard to explain

Guy

 
Old 02-24-2005, 01:40 PM   #10
Junior Member
(male)
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Posts: 16
niceguy22 HB User
Re: Prom Date Trouble

Hey, can a guy use the word "cute" to describe a girl's purse or shoes, some accessory she has?

 
Old 02-24-2005, 05:50 PM   #11
Veteran
(male)
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: LA,CA,USA
Posts: 397
ForgottenFaith HB User
Re: Prom Date Trouble

Sure. There's nothing wrong with complimenting her using the word cute. I don't think any word is better than the next if you're being sincere when you say it.

 
Closed Thread

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
Prom Night is near.... AJ John Teen Health 5 05-18-2006 06:08 PM
So someone please summarize the prom to me. (Strange question) MrZeely Relationship Health 7 04-26-2006 06:24 PM
Prom: Take the limo? bgs79 Teen Health 3 05-30-2005 02:15 PM
Prom is Soon.. Please Help.. Blistex1021 Beauty & Cosmetics 2 05-10-2004 10:48 AM
prom less than a week away!!! cman Teen Health 3 03-12-2004 12:09 AM




Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




Join Our Newsletter

Stay healthy through tips curated by our health experts.

Whoops,

There was a problem adding your email Try again

Thank You

Your email has been added








TOP THANKED CONTRIBUTORS



rosequartz (7), Seraph (7), writeleft (6), lenvegas (4), Kszan (3), linguist1 (2), Diverdan8 (2), ERpiguy (2), solofelix (2), frisbeefreak (2)

Site Wide Totals

teteri66 (1180), MSJayhawk (1013), Apollo123 (909), Titchou (859), janewhite1 (823), Gabriel (763), ladybud (755), midwest1 (671), sammy64 (668), BlueSkies14 (607)



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 05:42 AM.



Site owned and operated by HealthBoards.comô
Terms of Use © 1998-2014 HealthBoards.comô All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!