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Old 01-29-2006, 04:30 PM   #1
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Ash467 HB User
in despirate need of your help!! !!

I am not sure what section this post should go in so ill put it here.

Basicly im now 17 i met a woman on the internet 2 years ago she is now 19 we started off talking as friends but last year i found myself falling deeply in love with her. im finding myself now thinking about her basicly every second of the day. About the same time i fallen in love with her she had fallin in love with me to and we have not met yet but we have been talking on the internet or phone basicly every day for a year. Through this relationship we have talked about alot we have said we want to be together we have shared personal things with each other and we have even talked about babies together. I am always thinking about being with this woman i love and my heart is aching. She says she wants to be with me and she loves me lots but there is something scaring her and stopping her in a way, im trying to make plans with her to meet and telling her ill do anything and i know she wants to be with me but something is scaring her. Right now i dont know what to do with myself i cant stop thinking about her ive been feeling sick and horrible for weeks and my heart always feels like its in my stomache. I lay in bed at night and get really depressed wishing she was there with me and i sometimes start to cry. She knows how much i love her and want to be with her.

Please guys what should i do? i need help its getting me so upset and depressed.

 
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Old 01-29-2006, 04:46 PM   #2
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TearZ HB User
Re: in despirate need of your help!! !!

I say GO FOR IT!!! Tell her to stop thinking of what could happen. Tell her not to assume the worst. Even if you guys did meet and it didn’t work out as long as she wont be saying “what if this and what if that” she will know she gave it a shot and it didn’t work. For all she knows you’re the guy for her! The saying “its better to have loved someone and lost them, then not loving someone at all” is very true. You guys have spoken for a long time, not like it has been a couple of months.

I was in the same situation as you. I was talking to my bf for close to a yr on the net we finally meet and we have been together for 4yrs and finished building a brand new house together. Don’t get me wrong I was scared as hell, but I didn’t want to go through life thinking “what if”

I am also involved with a female that I spoke to on the internet for 3yrs, we finally met eachother and were know inseprable.

If you guys have really strong feelings for eachother I don’t see why use wouldn’t meet and see how it goes in reality. No doubt if you guys have feelings for eachother now in your cir***stances that when use meet you guys will be totally in live with eachother.

You have to concinve her that there is no point in waiting and that she has to take the chance weather its good or bad.

Have you guys seen eachother pictures?

 
Old 01-29-2006, 04:56 PM   #3
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Re: in despirate need of your help!! !!

i have tried to tell her to think of the good that can come out of it and not the bad but i do get alot of 'what if' im really trying and sometimes i feel like im pushing her to hard. We have seen each other pics and i love her with all my heart and soul im practicly begging her to meet me and be with me ive tried telling her all the good things and that we would of tried it but i just dont know what else to do. Do i need to give it more time and stay depressed and so upset untill we are ready to meet?

Sometimes i feel like i want to die my heart is aching and hurting so bad i cant stop thinking about her and i want to be with her so much.
Can u think of anything else i could do?

 
Old 01-29-2006, 05:02 PM   #4
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TearZ HB User
Re: in despirate need of your help!! !!

Awww that sounds really sweet!

Well me obiously being a girl try this: stop asking her to meet you and she will soon enough come around. Just tell her that you wont be pressuring her to meet you anymore and you will leave it up to her when shes ready” she might be feeling pressured in someway. If you give her space and stop asking her you might see a slight change. Just let her know that you love her and all that stuff and just insure her that you will be there for her when shes ready.

When you guys meet you want it to be special, both of you wanting to meet eachother. You dont want her feeling scared..so trying giving her a little space see how that goes.

Last edited by D3ViN3^BRUN3T; 01-29-2006 at 05:04 PM.

 
Old 01-29-2006, 05:08 PM   #5
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Re: in despirate need of your help!! !!

D3V what should i do with myself though?
I think about her every single min of the day, she is all i can think about and nothing else matters to me but her. Does not matter if im busy at work, watching tv, having a shower im thinking about her.
Im so deeply in love with her and the fact that she is not here with me now, its getting me really upset. I want to be with her so bad i just want to close my eyes and when i open them i want her to be there infront of me i go to bed at night and i lay there till about 5am wishing i had my arms around her. I cant sleep and i get so upset, i love her with all my heart but it hurts so much. What can i do D3V?

Last edited by Ash467; 01-29-2006 at 05:09 PM.

 
Old 01-29-2006, 05:14 PM   #6
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TearZ HB User
Re: in despirate need of your help!! !!

There is not much you can really do…………..if your this much in love with her you can’t switch off so easily. Try and think of happy thoughts like the moment you will meet her, what will use do? etc…… love hurts so for me to say play playstation, go out with mates will all be a lie because in this situation no matter what you do it wont work. so hang in their and stay positive and just let her know how your feeling.

 
Old 01-29-2006, 05:19 PM   #7
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Re: in despirate need of your help!! !!

Maybe she hasn't been completely honest with you. Maybe the picture you saw wasn't really her. Maybe she is really a he. Maybe she is a lonely 50 year old married woman. But why are you so desperate that you sometimes feel like dying?? At 17, I know that your hormones are raging, but you should really try to slow down a little and think this through with the head that is on you shoulders/ Blessings. Chloe

 
Old 01-29-2006, 05:21 PM   #8
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Ash467 HB User
Re: in despirate need of your help!! !!

its 1am ive got to get some sleep . I know ill be laying in bed for a few hours and probably start crying before i fall asleep anyway i just dont know what to do with myself.

Thanks for your help DV3 i have added you to my buddies list, i hope you dont mind and hopefully we can have a talk tomorrow if you wouldnt mind that.

y does love hurt so much, i would die for this woman.

 
Old 01-29-2006, 05:25 PM   #9
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Re: in despirate need of your help!! !!

Quote:
Originally Posted by baumshell
Maybe she hasn't been completely honest with you. Maybe the picture you saw wasn't really her. Maybe she is really a he. Maybe she is a lonely 50 year old married woman. But why are you so desperate that you sometimes feel like dying?? At 17, I know that your hormones are raging, but you should really try to slow down a little and think this through with the head that is on you shoulders/ Blessings. Chloe

I know she has been honest with me i have spoken to her friends on the phone i have spoken to her on the phone ive known her for just over 2 years but been in love with her for a year. We have no secrets betwen us, but at the moment its just so hard to accept the fact she is not here with me yet and its taking more time.I live in the uk, My parents emigrated to australia and i went with them but after 2 weeks i found i couldnt cope being so far away from her and i come back just to be with her. Thats how in love i am with her ill do anything!!

 
Old 01-29-2006, 05:29 PM   #10
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TearZ HB User
Re: in despirate need of your help!! !!

baumshell i don’t think putting all those negative thoughts in his head at this time is really helpful. Shes is mostly overwhelemed and really excited.

Good example is my and bf have built a brand new house together and in that yr I was really excited payed off all our furniture, got wuotes for everything etc,,,,,,,,,, the house is finally finished and I am nothing but scared to a point that I don’t want to move out anymore! After all this time waiting I don’t want to move out to my dream home? so its only naturall for her to go through what she is going through.

It mainly happens with girls, guys are more easy going with that kind of thing.

As for his age I don’t belive his to young to be in love. I fell in love with my x at 15yrs of age and everyone was so certain it will only last a couple of months. No matter how old you are you cant control your love for someone, teenager have every right to love somone as much as adluts do.

So don’t think any bad thoughts Ash just continue to communicate with her. No worries ill be happy to help you out

Sweet dreams…………

Last edited by D3ViN3^BRUN3T; 01-29-2006 at 05:32 PM.

 
Old 01-30-2006, 03:27 AM   #11
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SpunkyStuart HB User
Re: Needing Help Please!

Long distance affairs are hard - especially if you have never met each other. I know that it is possible to do exactly what you have done as I have been there myself.

One thing to bear in mind is that at a distance, on the phone or web, it is very possible to make your self sound better than perhaps you are - it may just start with a small white lie or something like that which is very difficult to then admit to and it has to be continued. It is possible that she may have done this?

Someone I met across the internet claimed to be a medical student, have a rich family, live in a big house etc and whilst I didnt care this was carried on and on. I tried telling them that it didnt matter if they were poor (true), worked in telesales (true) or lived at home with thier parents (true). In the end I had to explain that I knew the true situation (I had done a bit of research) and it was a relief to them to know they didnt have to lie anymore! This is a hazard of the niternet and phone relationship!

But I digress, the most important thing now is for you two to meet up. Fast. Face to face, get together. Then you can find out if you are both what you are expecting. Then you can explore what it is actually like to be with them, how you actually get on together.

Meeting with people in real life is actually different from meeting people over the internet, although the internet is a fantastic place to meet (I met my current boyfriend on the web, and we have been together nearly five years).

Only by meeting will you find out if you do actually like that person, let alone be in love with them and want to have babies together!

Do also bear in mind that you are pretty young to be having this sort of "Long term" relationship, it may be much better for you to be out mixing with real people to develop your social skills and then you will meet real people! Have a few flings with real people and see how you fel after this maybe.

Good luck, I hope it works out for you

 
Old 01-30-2006, 08:40 AM   #12
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katidid95 HB User
Re: please help me,, please!!!!!

I'm not sure this is the right place for you to post either, but I'll throw in my 2 cents worth. It's very hard when you are young and have such strong feelings for someone, whether you've met or not, to really see the whole picture. I am very concerned for you having this kind of relationship, even though it has lasted 2 years. You really don't know this person. She could actually be 29 or 39, not 19. You say "something is scaring her" and keeping you from meeting her. This is a RED FLAG that something is not quite right. I urge you to find an adult to talk to about this. In the mean time, try to focus some of that energy that you have put into this relationship into something in your real world, at school, with friends, etc. Be patient with your feelings and know that it's okay to have strong feelings about things, just be careful with what you do with them. Good luck.

 
Old 01-30-2006, 02:37 PM   #13
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MysteriousGuy HB User
Re: in despirate need of your help!! !!

I’m sorry to say this but I think you’re wimpy. Two of you haven’t meet yet and already you’re crying your heart out for her? Look dude I have done this a year ago (I’m 18 now), with a girl and I chatting online for about three months. Into a month, she told me that she was in love with me and hoped for us to be together one day. She even talked of how sexy her name would be if my last name were to be added as her last name (as in marriage). That was even before I felt anything for her. Now believe me when I tell you that I felt strongly for her even though I haven’t meet her yet and could have swore that we were soul mates. So what seems to be the problem? Well part of the reason she “broke up” with me (in a cruel way, by leaving in the middle of our last conversation, we were arguing and she left in the middle of it instead of trying to resolve it, and that’s it, no bye bye, that’s how cruel she was) was that I realized that I may have come off as somewhat wimpy, although I came off as very strong in the beginning, I guess she just want a guy who are so full of himself. “bad boy” theme comes to my mind but I know that wasn’t what it was about. Still she gave me up without even trying to resolve our argument. This was three month into our “relationship”, as matter of fact; I was actually planning to move to where she lives so I can be with her in a month before she break it off with me. I’m glad anyway, I learned from it, learned that I wouldn’t do something like that again, I became more “tougher” and I know I don’t really care anymore if I ever get a girlfriend or not (although that would suck). The point is…do not stress too much on it or come across as a wimpy with her, saying I love you and all that crap, which is exactly what I did with that girl, she did the same. It might scare your girl off and just makes you look plain weak, wimpy and unattractive. Just be cool about it okay, it isn’t easy I’m sure since you still need to maintain the main core of your character that she had fell in love with. Of course you would do anything for her, a year ago I was saying the same thing a year ago. Whatever you do, just stay cool, you never know, she could not be a right girl for you once two of you meet.

 
Old 01-30-2006, 04:20 PM   #14
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Ash467 HB User
Re: in despirate need of your help!! !!

but oviously the way u have been describing it your love for that girl wasnt as stong as the love i feel. I can not help how i feel about her and i can not controll my emotions and how much i want to be with her. The way u describe how u talk to your girl by saying '' just tell her u love her and all that crap'' what does that mean?, that u are just telling her what she wants to hear but u dont actually feel it for her?

 
Old 01-30-2006, 04:22 PM   #15
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howhorrible HB User
Re: in despirate need of your help!! !!

I think you should go for it, but please, in the future, don't set yourself up on these internet things and long distance relashionships are NOT good. They just lead to problems!

 
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