It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Teen Health Message Board
Post New Thread   Closed Thread
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 07-09-2006, 05:08 AM   #1
Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 84
Angelwing HB User
Unhappy Confused, alone, lost, in need of help. Badly

recently i have had a major break up with my boyfriend, and it feels like i have been stabbed in the chest. Its not as if i dont see him either, we share the same group of friends. Its just, he said to me that he didnt love me anymore, and that he didnt want to commit, and that being a teenager is all about being with different people and having a laugh. And yeah, i know he's right, but i cant come to terms with whats happened. Its been three or more weeks since we broke up and we had been together for quite a long time, 9 months. He seems to have gotten over me pretty quickly, he's moved on and found someone new. I cant bare to see him text her, or hug her, i was physically sick yesterday thinking about it. I havent been eating right, i'v only been crying. I asked him if there was any hope with us in the distant future, and he said no, and that he cant see it happening. This really hit me hard, because he always used to say that we would be together for ages, and that he really did love me lots. But i dont understand anymore, im so confused, it feels like everything has just wizzed past me so fast that i dont have time to catch up. I dont get it, I still love him. I am trying to move on, i really am, but its so hard. He says im being over the top, and its not like a divorce or anything. But being a teenage girl? I mean, come on. We always feel things alot harder than most teenage boys do. He says he needs time to mess around with other girls, and be with other people. But i only want to be with him. He was my first love. Its so hard to let that go. Everything reminds me of him. I know it seems selfish, but i want him to realise whats gone. what we had. but i know he wont, i like to hope that maybe we could have a future together, one day, but when he said that we would never go out again, that shattered those thoughts. I know you're thinking, "god get a grip, you're only a teen" but thats what it is, im only a teen, everything seems so much harder when you're this age. All my friends say, times a healer, the pain will soon pass, but it feels like each day is a year, i have never been this sad in my life. I know its best if i dont see him, i can get over him quicker that way, but i want to see him, i miss seeing him. I really need help, i dont know what to do anymore. I have tried to move on, and get over him, but i cant. I miss him so much, all i want to do is wake up from this long dream. He just gets mad at me everytime i get sad, and he said that he didnt want to have to commit, it felt like a weight on his shoulders, and that he doesnt regret doing it, it was the right thing to do for him. The worst part is, the group of friends i hang around with is made up of couples. Also, he tried to get me to get with his best friend. why would he do that? To get me off his back, so the guilt he feels for making me sad goes away? I dont get it. Why doesnt he love me anymore? He said he's changed. I dont want him to change, i want it to go back to normal. I feel so lost and lonely, i have lost the one person that made my life complete. I know i sound over dramatic, but... I cant help it. I really need some help. Badly. Please, if you have bothered to read all this, thankyou. Please can you help me?

 
Sponsors Lightbulb
   
Old 07-09-2006, 06:01 AM   #2
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: Australia
Posts: 581
Baby_hands HB User
Re: Confused, alone, lost, in need of help. Badly

Awe sweetie I feel for you.
When I was 14yrs old I had a boyfriend and I swore we would be together forever. I thought we had a major connection and we were just so "in love".

Then...he broke up with me.

I was absolutley devastated. It took me ages to get over it and maybe a good year or 2 to get the whole thing completley out of my system.

My point is, you are completley NORMAL to be feeling the way you do. Thats healthy. You are obviously a loving and sensitive person. This shows that in the future you will be capable of having such wonderful meaningful relationships.
Obviously this ex boyfriend has done you a favour.

Do you really want to be with someone who can..be with a person for 9mths...say he loves you...then break it off and move on in such a heartless manner?

While he is "messing around and having fun" you will find someone who loves you.

Cry all your tears out...just know this isnt the end for you and there is DEFINATELY someone better out there for you.

Be easy on yourself.

As for your friendship with this guy...try and keep away from him as much as possible. And when your upset, dont let him know it, that'd feed his ego. It obviously doesnt need anymore feeding!
I feel sorry for his current girlfriend..she is in for the same thing you went through.

Chin up girl!
__________________
Great beauty and virtue rarely dwell together.

 
Old 07-09-2006, 01:07 PM   #3
Junior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 27
zeldieuk HB User
Re: Confused, alone, lost, in need of help. Badly

Reading what you wrote reminds me of when i was 13, i was going out with a lad a little older, i was so in love with him we spent all our free time together, i used to rush home from school to see him waiting for me, i can still see his smile now, but him saying it was over was the best thing he did for me, yes i spent weeks crying, i wouldnt go out as i didnt want to bump into him, but you DO get over it. I really feel for you, it sounds like he doesnt want commitment, he will no doubt have a few more girlfriends before he is ready to settle down. women seem to know what they want out of life (career, marriage, children etc) men seem to take 1 day at a time.
Dont let him know you are upset, i know its hard, deep down you want to hug him and tell him how much he means to you.
Have you any female friends you can confide in or a relative you feel you could talk to about how your feeling?
if not pop a message on here for us, we will try to help you through it.

 
Old 07-09-2006, 07:11 PM   #4
Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 52
emergency911 HB User
Re: Confused, alone, lost, in need of help. Badly

Quote:
Originally Posted by Angelwing
recently i have had a major break up with my boyfriend, and it feels like i have been stabbed in the chest. Its not as if i dont see him either, we share the same group of friends. Its just, he said to me that he didnt love me anymore, and that he didnt want to commit, and that being a teenager is all about being with different people and having a laugh. And yeah, i know he's right, but i cant come to terms with whats happened. Its been three or more weeks since we broke up and we had been together for quite a long time, 9 months. He seems to have gotten over me pretty quickly, he's moved on and found someone new. I cant bare to see him text her, or hug her, i was physically sick yesterday thinking about it. I havent been eating right, i'v only been crying. I asked him if there was any hope with us in the distant future, and he said no, and that he cant see it happening. This really hit me hard, because he always used to say that we would be together for ages, and that he really did love me lots. But i dont understand anymore, im so confused, it feels like everything has just wizzed past me so fast that i dont have time to catch up. I dont get it, I still love him. I am trying to move on, i really am, but its so hard. He says im being over the top, and its not like a divorce or anything. But being a teenage girl? I mean, come on. We always feel things alot harder than most teenage boys do. He says he needs time to mess around with other girls, and be with other people. But i only want to be with him. He was my first love. Its so hard to let that go. Everything reminds me of him. I know it seems selfish, but i want him to realise whats gone. what we had. but i know he wont, i like to hope that maybe we could have a future together, one day, but when he said that we would never go out again, that shattered those thoughts. I know you're thinking, "god get a grip, you're only a teen" but thats what it is, im only a teen, everything seems so much harder when you're this age. All my friends say, times a healer, the pain will soon pass, but it feels like each day is a year, i have never been this sad in my life. I know its best if i dont see him, i can get over him quicker that way, but i want to see him, i miss seeing him. I really need help, i dont know what to do anymore. I have tried to move on, and get over him, but i cant. I miss him so much, all i want to do is wake up from this long dream. He just gets mad at me everytime i get sad, and he said that he didnt want to have to commit, it felt like a weight on his shoulders, and that he doesnt regret doing it, it was the right thing to do for him. The worst part is, the group of friends i hang around with is made up of couples. Also, he tried to get me to get with his best friend. why would he do that? To get me off his back, so the guilt he feels for making me sad goes away? I dont get it. Why doesnt he love me anymore? He said he's changed. I dont want him to change, i want it to go back to normal. I feel so lost and lonely, i have lost the one person that made my life complete. I know i sound over dramatic, but... I cant help it. I really need some help. Badly. Please, if you have bothered to read all this, thankyou. Please can you help me?
this same exact thing just happend to me four days ago. i am so sorry it happened to you too. its so hard.... i was with my boyfriend for 10 months. i am also a teen and it sucks. i love him so much and he said we would be together forever and all that stuff. but then he decided he just wanted to be friends. he claimed it was because our relationship has grown so much and im just like a best friend now. but i am so hurt.... and i think he is just breaking up with me because he likes someone else. but i have been crying for the past four days and i cant do anything with crying. i tried spending the night with my friend, shopping and having fun but i just cant help crying.nothing is fun for me anymore knowing that he dosent love me the way i love him. i cant eat at all, i cant sleep, i can barley breath at times.. everything reminds me of him. i lost the only one i love too. i know that no one will ever be like him. people say time heals , but its not working for me either. i am counting down the days but what am i waiting for? i just wait everyday for the day to end so i can go back to crying myself to sleep.
sorry i didnt help, i just wanted to get that out, because i am going through the same problem right now.
<33333

 
Old 07-19-2006, 08:31 PM   #5
Junior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: ......................
Posts: 38
A diffrent kind HB User
Red face Re: Confused, alone, lost, in need of help. Badly

Hello there i know how you fell i went throw a hard break up this March me and my boy friend wear together for almost 3 years and it kill me so much that i just would cry i try to do other stuff but nothing help except one thing is don't listing to sad songs!!!.But see i was very lucky he came back to me i wish your boyfriend would do the same for you. You really have to eat you can't kill your self over this break up sure i know it hurts alot try doing something for your self. And that wasn't nice to say he wants to mess around with other girls if some guy said that to me i would be really mad. I hope it all works out for you i wish i can help you alot more but i don't know what to say b/c it was hard on me to and i am 20 plus i was engage not even a month...You really need to take care of your self let me know how every thing is going!!!.

 
Old 07-19-2006, 09:07 PM   #6
P&J P&J is offline
Newbie
(female)
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: GASTONIA N.C USA
Posts: 7
P&J HB User
Re: Confused, alone, lost, in need of help. Badly

I Was Getting Ready To Be Married I Done Bought The Rings The Gown Every Thing And Then He Told Me It Was Over It Hurt Like Crazy But They Say If You Love Them Let Them Go And If They Come Back It Was Ment To Be

 
Closed Thread

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
Really need to feel I'm not alone olderthen48 Chronic Pain 16 04-20-2010 03:40 AM
Hyperthyroid ~ Confused & Lost mum2cj Thyroid Disorders 9 02-26-2009 11:12 AM
confused feelbad Pain Management 8 08-30-2008 07:04 PM
:confused: confidence an paranoia issues....MY LIFE BEIN TOTALLY AFFECTED :( chinadoll141 Personality Disorder 4 07-05-2007 04:02 AM
Feeling confused...Not sure what to do akajessie Relationship Health 5 12-11-2005 05:29 PM




Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




Join Our Newsletter

Stay healthy through tips curated by our health experts.

Whoops,

There was a problem adding your email Try again

Thank You

Your email has been added








TOP THANKED CONTRIBUTORS



Seraph (7), rosequartz (6), writeleft (6), lenvegas (4), Kszan (3), Diverdan8 (2), ERpiguy (2), solofelix (2), frisbeefreak (2), SoundsFamiliar (2)

Site Wide Totals

teteri66 (1162), MSJayhawk (990), Apollo123 (890), Titchou (825), janewhite1 (823), Gabriel (757), ladybud (737), sammy64 (666), midwest1 (665), BlueSkies14 (610)



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 06:19 PM.



Site owned and operated by HealthBoards.comô
Terms of Use © 1998-2014 HealthBoards.comô All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!