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Old 08-05-2006, 06:07 AM   #1
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Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Canada
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PrincessLost HB User
Problems, please help!

Well, I have a couple of problems. I'm socially inept (according to my mother), I have moved a lot and am in the process of another one right now, I have very little confidence around people my age who I don't know well, and I am really sensitive sometimes, and sometimes I just find myself wanting to tell the people to get over it, in my head though, never to them.

I am 13, I've never had a boyfriend though. I don't know how to talk to boys. I think my parents screwed up with me, because I have no social skills. My mom says I'm not friendly. I don't know how, I guess. I always mumble around people, and I tend to forget that being friendly means actually paying attention to the people. I float into my own little world a lot, I like to day dream.

My family has moved a lot. I'm not talking about little moves from like one state to the other, I'm talking about country to country, continent to continent. I've asked my parents if I could go to boarding school, so whenever we move, I can stay at the same school, but they say no.

I have a weird nose, its big and and has a bump in it when you look at me from the side. My mom asked me if I wanted to get a nose job, what part of my nose would it be? I said I would want to make it smaller, she said she would have gotten the bump done if she were me.

Does anyone have any advice, besides "just relax, you're over-reacting" or something?

I'm 5"9, maybe a little tall for my age (13), I'm fairly skinny, actually really skinny, I'm 90-100 pounds (it goes up and down). I have a fast metabolism. I really don't like my self, I have weird hair that my mom cuts the way she likes, I have no say! I kills me! She always cuts it short, like a bob! It looks so ugly, I cry a lot about it (sad, I know, but people actually laugh at my hair. My mom thinks it looks hip. I hate her.)

I really hate my mom. She says she doesn't use guilt! Please, she constantly does. She tells me about how sucky her life was when she was little, anytime I feel bad. Is it supposed to make me feel better? Make me think that I don't have problems? Oh my gosh, I hate her so much!

 
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Old 08-05-2006, 07:57 AM   #2
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Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: london
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teengirl89 HB User
Re: Problems, please help!

o dear that doesn't sound too good. Right well it sounds like your mum is extremely controlling. You said she says she had a tough life when she was a teenager, i think maybe how shes styling your hair and telling you what to do is her trying to put the things that she wanted as a teenager onto you which can be hard especially when you don't want the things she wanted.

Have you tried to talk to her about your hairstyle or is she completely oblivious to it? If you havnt told her you have to try and tell her that you understand she had a hard childhood but her trying to control what you do/look like is making yours hard aswel. No one wants to be pressured into being something they dont want to be. Also tell her that people make fun of you because of ur hair. Maybe if she new you was getting taunted for it she might understand a little bit.

I dont think your overreacting at all to be honest, i understand where your coming from with it. Id feel exactly how u feel if my mother tried to control the way i am. I dont have any extreme advice and im sorry about that, im just writing what i think to be honest.

I have a friend who hates the way she looks, she also hates her nose and whats a nose job when shes older. To be perfectly honest shes a gorgeous girl but i have found that many people who are absolutely gorgeous sometimes think that they are really ugly or not portioned correctly. I would say because your only 13 to wait until you are at least 18/19 before you do anything because as you grow older you may change how you feel about your body and may feel more comfortable in it, especially as you start to develop your shape and stuff as you get older. Your mother is not helping the situation with telling you that she would get a nose job if she was you, it seems like in a way she is trying to help you have a better life than what she had but its totally gone the opposite way. Just try and sit down and talk to her about how you feel, you need to be open with her otherwise none of this will get sorted

sorry this is long lol

 
Old 08-06-2006, 09:41 PM   #3
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Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: KY
Posts: 4
Kasie_gurl HB User
Re: Problems, please help!

Ok I have been though some of the stuff with the mom this not that i keep on moving or am tall and skiny for the age 13. But i know how to deal with mothers.
well first try talking to her one on one and tell her how you feel if you don't think you can say it when you are sitting next to her write her a letter and ask her to read it while she is sitting next to you.

may be try asking if you would go to a conculer together this most of the time hits them hard but then they see maybe if you are asking them to do this something is up.

try going to a third party and then going to your mom like you dad, aunt, uncle, close frined of the familys. this hits them hard i have done this before.

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Old 09-05-2006, 07:28 AM   #4
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Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: "central", KY, USA
Posts: 344
thegardener HB User
Re: Problems, please help!

Your mom shouldn't be telling you that you are unfriendly or socially inept. I can't believe she is making you so miserable with your hair! Seems like she never got over her childhood and she is making the same mistakes with you that her parents made with her. Maybe she is tranferring all of her insecurities to you? Moving a lot certainly doesn't make growing up any easier. You sound really strong, though, and you are going to make it through this. Don't worry about boyfriends, you are so young. I don't know what to tell you about your mom, I'm sorry!

 
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