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Old 03-04-2010, 09:54 AM   #1
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do you get over your first love?

Do you ever get over your first love? Thats what I was asking myself when i googled it and came across this. As I read others comments, it seems to me I will never.Im Nineteen now and i know this is young but i was really in love. I was fifteen yrs old in my sophmore yrs of high school when I met my first love. He was one year older but in my same grade. He was gorgeous I thought. He asked me out 9-18-06 and i said yes. I gave him my all, he was the first person I kissed and etc. The first yr we dated was good, we had our arguments but he was everything to me. We spent every single min. of each day together and when we were apart we were on the phone. I was so young and niave I made it known he was all that really mattered I depended on him. During the second yr i had to move to Va because my dad was in the navy. I was scared. I didnt want to loose him. I didnt want him to move on. Anyway I moved to Va for my junior yr of highschool. It was hard. I was hurting the entire time, I thought about him every night. I called everyday sometimes he would answer and others he just let it ring and ring till he eventually turned it off. He visited twice the whole time i was there though and stayed for along time he visited once when i first moved there and one more time when I before i moved back to florida. I begged and begged my father to move back, eventually he moved the whole family back. Now when I got back i was so happy i had thought everything would be the same as he had told me so many times. But it wasnt. I went to his house everyday after school senior yr and all he kept saying is keep trying and maybe i will feel the same again. Theres so much i have to leave out so i dont bore you all to death. but needless to say he found someone else and it hurt so bad because he lied to me and told me she was nothing. Then one afternoon he hadnt called for three days and i had waited so patiently, she answered the phone. I was in tears as i explained to her how that was my first and only boyfriend, sitting right next to him she gave me this horrible attitude. She told me to grow up and that i could have him when she was done. Later on that same night he called and told me he was in love with her, and i hung up at that word and hadnt spoke with him since. Its been six months, and even though im trying to talk to this new guy I have alot alot of feelings for it hurts.

 
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Old 03-08-2010, 09:13 AM   #2
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Re: do you get over your first love?

It does get better with time, some people can be over their first love sooner than others. Can take months or years but when the right one walks into your life you will know and he will help you get over him.

 
Old 03-08-2010, 09:41 AM   #3
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Re: do you get over your first love?

Melly,

Long distance relationships are very difficult for anyone, particularly when you are young.

I am sorry that your boyfriend chose to handle things as he did...you deserved the truth, while he was probably trying to spare your feelings, in the end it backfired, as usual.

Every relationship we have teaches us some very important life lessons...some of which are very hard to swallow.

For example, you are obviously very faithful, commited, and determined to get what you want. Those are qualities that will serve you well.

On the other hand, putting all your hopes on another person to make you happy, that is a mistake. Relationships should be a part of life, rather than your whole life. You may have missed some important clues he was sending you, because of your unflappable determination for this to work.

The best thing you can do is dust yourself off, and get your life back together. Put all that determination you have on making yourself the best you can be. You have an entire life ahead of you. Once you are making progress, having fun and keeping busy with life...BAM! Someone will come into your life, and you will be ready to try this thing all over again, I promise. For most of us, this process repeats itself quite a few times before Mr.
Right comes along and we are ready for him. Keep this in mind so you can protect yourself from another horrible breakup...They usually hurt, but don't have to be the end of the world...rather proof that you are living, learning and living life! Som of the best personal growth comes following major life changes, and breakups are in this category, For every door that closes, a window opens.

It's time for you to get back to your life...go for it!

 
Old 03-08-2010, 09:46 AM   #4
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Re: do you get over your first love?

yes you sure do......don't worry.....
in time you will find an ever better guy and the first love will fade into the sunset....

 
Old 03-19-2010, 12:29 PM   #5
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Re: do you get over your first love?

You'll get over it and you'll retain all the good memories eventually. I remember fondly my first love even though it took years to get over it and for a few years I could only remember the terrible times. After I fell in love with the man I married my heart became whole and now I can only seem to remember the good times I had with my first love. Do you know the song, "The First Cut is the Deepest"? I must have listened to that a million times. The lyrics are all true.
Good luck and try to move on and heal.

 
Old 03-23-2010, 05:05 AM   #6
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Re: do you get over your first love?

Your story has me thinking and wondering now, too, though my situation is a bit different. I'm not sure if my first love actually was my first love because he was my last. It might have been puppy-love in my situation, but I'm not sure. It was the absolute worst thing to go through when he broke up with me for no reason at all. I know the hurt, and I am all too familiar with the pain of it. It's been four years, and I think began to get over him just last year. I still have to see him everyday, but I can look at him now and feel nothing. I haven't forgiven him, exactly, but it doesn't hurt anymore. I'm not saying that it's going to take you four years to get better, I just want you to know, from experience, I know it is possible to recover from such unbearable heartbreak. Everyone always says that you only have one true love, and I'm really hoping that isn't true, not just for me but for the thousands of others out there who have been broken by their "true loves." It wouldn't be fair at all if you only fell in love once and then it ended like that. That just doesn't make sense to me. But, I don't know, I'm not sure I really believe in love anymore though, so I really don't know what I'm saying... Just, you're going to make it. I promise

Last edited by imsry28; 03-23-2010 at 05:06 AM.

 
Old 03-24-2010, 05:47 AM   #7
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Re: do you get over your first love?

I don't think that you only have one true love. Or if you do people aren't finding them because look at the divorce rate! I think Writeleft is wise beyond her years; she has wonderful advice.

You'll find your love one day when the timing is right and your hands and heart is wide open and ready. You'll have to work through the present hurt to get to that "open heart" state. Be patient.
I was in love 3 times in my life and each one was a greater gradation of love. The first, I cared very deeply for (I call it love but not even close to what I have now), we split amicably and we are still friends 27 years later.

The second was real and an incredibly painful split but while we had a ton in common and our values were the same, he and I were going in different directions with our lives and in retrospect it wouldn't have worked. During the relationship there were tiny things that irritated me about him.

The third love was an instant passionate mutual attraction like a magnet. We share the same values and our paths were inline. There wasn't anything that irritated me about him. I married him after a 3 year courtship and we are happily married now 22 years later.

 
Old 03-24-2010, 06:50 AM   #8
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Re: do you get over your first love?

Of course you do. Your ex is an ex for a reason. The sooner you realize this, the easier it will be to move on.

 
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