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Old 07-07-2010, 07:50 PM   #1
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someone please answer this...i don't know if i should keep waiting or just give up?:(

okay so, i've been talking to this guy for about a month, we'll call him mike. well mike and i got into a fight last monday night, and we've barely talked since. the fight came about because he hadn't really been talking much to me that day, and it kinda frustrated me. i wasn't in the best of moods that day. so i said to him when he said night i'm going to bed, "fine don't talk to me w/e i can't believe i'm allowing this to happen again (getting hurt by a guy) he then calls me up a few minutes later and tells me to text him when i learn to trust him. we then kinda argued for a bit and we've hardly talked since. i sent him a long apology message telling him i'd trust him fully and he was at work and never answered. then monday (two days ago) i texted him asking him if he was ever gonna talk to me again and he said yea. soon then i asked him if we were ok yet and he said no. he was always so sweet idk why this happened /: can someone please help me out? i really don't wanna give up because i like him a lot.

 
Old 07-07-2010, 08:26 PM   #2
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Re: someone please answer this...i don't know if i should keep waiting or just give u

Sounds to me like he was allready getting bored, and kinda waited for an opportunity to get out. I cant imagine after only one argument, he would pull away like this. Either it's him who doesn't trust you......or he was waiting for a way out, and now he's found it. I think I would move on. Good luck

 
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Old 07-08-2010, 10:21 AM   #3
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Re: someone please answer this...i don't know if i should keep waiting or just give u

Quote:
Originally Posted by justsmilee View Post
i wasn't in the best of moods that day. so i said to him when he said night i'm going to bed, "fine don't talk to me w/e i can't believe i'm allowing this to happen again (getting hurt by a guy) he then calls me up a few minutes later and tells me to text him when i learn to trust him.
sounds like he didn't like your comment and he doesn't like to be manipulated

and "text me when you learn to trust me", means he's not going to waste his time playing games

 
Old 07-10-2010, 03:27 PM   #4
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Re: someone please answer this...i don't know if i should keep waiting or just give u

Quote:
Originally Posted by justsmilee View Post
okay so, i've been talking to this guy for about a month, we'll call him mike. well mike and i got into a fight last monday night, and we've barely talked since. the fight came about because he hadn't really been talking much to me that day, and it kinda frustrated me. i wasn't in the best of moods that day. so i said to him when he said night i'm going to bed, "fine don't talk to me w/e i can't believe i'm allowing this to happen again (getting hurt by a guy) he then calls me up a few minutes later and tells me to text him when i learn to trust him. we then kinda argued for a bit and we've hardly talked since. i sent him a long apology message telling him i'd trust him fully and he was at work and never answered. then monday (two days ago) i texted him asking him if he was ever gonna talk to me again and he said yea. soon then i asked him if we were ok yet and he said no. he was always so sweet idk why this happened /: can someone please help me out? i really don't wanna give up because i like him a lot.

1. Look at it in an objective manner. Do you talk a lot to him? When we like a guy, or even love him, of course we want to talk often with him, and get frustrated when he doesn't text back or call, and take it as a lack of interest when it may not be the case.

2. He probably wanted space. He does his own things and so do you. He has work, right? He, perhaps, wants time for himself and that's reasonable. This allows you to have time for yourself too.

3. Don't talk to him. Relax. Enjoy your day. You already apologized, and if it was sincere, it's up to him now.

4. He's right. You have to be in his shoes to understand he won't talk to you as often as you'd like. He's being straightforward. Now, if it's his choice to ignore you after you've apologized, either he doesn't take it that you're being sincere about you trusting him, or he's being childish about it.

Last edited by GenGen*; 07-10-2010 at 03:32 PM.

 
Old 07-10-2010, 04:57 PM   #5
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Re: someone please answer this...i don't know if i should keep waiting or just give u

If after one month, there are such communication problems, I would move on. Things might have gotten too complicated to quickly for him. Men do not like to be cornered into anything by a girl. If he has something to talk to you about, he will make it happen. Until then, don't wait.

 
Old 07-12-2010, 06:55 PM   #6
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Re: someone please answer this...i don't know if i should keep waiting or just give u

Hey. So I think maybe this guy backed away a little. I mean, like you said you had a bad day and he wasn't talking to you that day. But you shouldn't have gotten upset with him. Maybe he was having a bad day too and didn't want to take it out on you or maybe he was busy. In all honesty though, some dudes like to play hard to get. So he might have been playing a game is well. Which if you ask me, I think he was playing. Because trust has nothing to do with anything your fight was about. Usually when a guy says text me when you trust me, it's because he wants you to chase after him and because he's not trustworthy. Every guy that knows he's trustworthy will also know that he has to earn your trust. And he went right back to playing hard to get when you asked him if you guys were okay yet and he says no. If you ask me, this dude either has a bunch of girls that he's talking to, he's not interested, or he wants to mess with your head. And as a dude I will tell you, that is not a type of guy you want to get involved with. You may like him a lot, but better will come along, trust me. Don't fall for a jerk.
Josh.

 
Old 07-12-2010, 07:15 PM   #7
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Re: someone please answer this...i don't know if i should keep waiting or just give u

Kind Words from a good man...nice advice bigbro

 
Old 07-14-2010, 11:05 AM   #8
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Re: someone please answer this...i don't know if i should keep waiting or just give u

This sounds a lot like the situation my son (18) was in a few weeks ago. There was a girl that he wanted to go out with but she didn’t trust him. How do I know? She always got mad when he talked to ANY girl on f b. He told her that he had a lot of girl friends and that she should trust him. He meant it – they are only his friends and he wanted her to trust him.

So when you texted that “can’t believe I’m allowing this to happen again,” he probably didn’t know why the heck you said that. He texted you he was going to bed and then he called. When I’d say to my son to call or text his girlfriend, he’d say “I think she should text me.” So it seems to me that there is “role” playing going on too. Like ‘he should call me’ or ‘it’s her turn to call.’ One thing I don’t like about this new texting thing is feelings get misunderstood. If you are truly dating and caring about him, call and talk to him. Better yet, meet him at a coffee shop and actually see each other talk. My son cannot text while at work. He’s been busy with other stuff and doesn’t intentionally not text or call her. Time gets in the way. Just talk.


Oh, and I think trust DOES play a role in your fight because you told him you couldn't believe you were letting this happen again. He was telling you to trust that he wouldn't do that to you. Sounds like you took things out of context and you could have actually hurt his feelings when you said you thought he was going to hurt you.
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Last edited by sawbuck44; 07-14-2010 at 11:11 AM.

 
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