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Is this weird

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Old 08-18-2003, 07:25 PM   #1
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Kirkland, WA, USA
Posts: 97
KristinaM2004 HB User
Post Is this weird

Hey im 17 and my bf is 23... I do love him and we will have been together for 9 months on the 2nd of sept. 2 weeks before we got together he got this girl pregnant, *dont know if the baby is his yet* and i do love him to death. my parents hate him, but his parents and family love me. I feel like i have a family with him and his family.. *if that makes since... well any advice will help thanks

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Old 08-18-2003, 07:32 PM   #2
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Location: england
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silently_happy HB User

It isnt clear what you are asking advice for. Why dont your family like him? Are their reasons unresonable or is what they say true. It is important to have family support, and you dont want to loose your family. However, if you truly love him, and he loves you then im sure you can work it out. Hopefully your family will learn to love him to, if they see that he makes you happy. Its good that his family like you to and that you feel at home with them. But you do need your family. Do you get along with yout family apart from this issue?

As far as the pregnancy goes, its up to you how you deal with it. If you are ok with it, and he no longer has any feelings for her, then you should be fine.

Be careful, take things slowly and be mature about it.

Good luck.

Old 08-18-2003, 07:34 PM   #3
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Kirkland, WA, USA
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KristinaM2004 HB User

they do not like him because of his age only.

Old 08-18-2003, 07:37 PM   #4
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silently_happy HB User

well, the age is only 6 years. Its not a big issue. Hopefully they will come round. If you truly love him and he loves you, they will see that he makes you happy and that should be what is important. Maybe it would be a good idea to talk to your family about him. Ask them why age matters to them. Tell them he makes you happy and that you wish they would see him as you do. Tell them it is important to you that they like him. Maybe suggest taking him to your house for dinner so your parents can meet him and see that he is a nice guy and his age isnt important. Maybe you have already done this?

Old 08-18-2003, 08:19 PM   #5
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Posts: 1,033
HoosierBj HB User

Your parent's concern may have something to do with the fact that their under-18 daughter is dating a guy who is 6 years older and may have gotten another girl pregnant.

Is he working? If the child is his he will owe child support for the next 18 years. If you marry him, that's money out of your household beFORE any children the two of you will have.

Your parents love you. Their concern will be with what they see as your best interests first. One or both of them may have loved someone very much but whom they did not marry. Your folks may believe that there is more to what makes a successful marriage than being in love.

The age difference might not matter to them so much if you were 22 and he were 28. You are probably a senior in high school? It's one of those awful things, but if you ever have a 17 year old daughter the situation would look differently to you!!

If you are determined to continue the relationship right now, maybe just take it real slow. There's no rush for a physical relationship or a marriage. Be sure to go to college, a college education will help pay for his child and your own down the road.

Love is great, just don't forget to think things thru!!

Old 08-18-2003, 08:30 PM   #6
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Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: San Antonio, TX USA
Posts: 132
tpopescu HB User

I totally agree with Hoosier. I'm sure him not being safe and maybe getting someone pregnant doesn't help. Have you asked him why he didn't use protection? I'm sorry but that really bothered me when I first read your post and something you should be thinking about. Also, if you were 16 or 17 when you started dating him that is a little bit young for a 23 y/o but if you guys took it slow, he was a really good guy, and wasn't carrying so much baggage as I parent I would try to deal with it. I know love can be blind sometimes and your parents are probably just looking out for you. Think things through and good luck.

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