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Old 01-05-2011, 02:12 PM   #1
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bf only wants me to wear short skirts

My bf wont go out with me unless i wear a short skirt no matter what the weather is or how cold. I dont want to lose him so i do it. My parents are not to keen on him,but everyone at school really likes him, if i leave the house wearing a pair of jeans i have to take a skirt with me and when we get around the corner he makes me put it on and hide the jeans in a bag to collect later before going home. Recently he has started lifting my skirt up at the back whenever someone is behind us, at first i thought it was a laugh,just a bit of fun but now he seems to hold it up more often and for longer and i'm feeling uncomfortable about it.
What should i do, he knows i dont want him to dump me

 
Old 01-05-2011, 02:24 PM   #2
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Re: bf only wants me to wear short skirts

No, you don't want him to dump you. You want to dump HIM.

Yeah, I get it- he's popular. He's also a control freak that is demeaning you by telling you what to wear (treating you like property) and by exposing you to the general public (can't even say what he's treating you like there).

My recommendation is you dump HIM and if people ask you why you tell them. That way you keep your self respect. He has no right to treat you that way, and I guarantee it is only going to get worse. What happens when he starts making even more demands on you that you are uncomfortable with? Because he will.

 
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Old 01-05-2011, 02:26 PM   #3
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Re: bf only wants me to wear short skirts

Your boyfriends behavior is out of line! No one should demand you wear anything other than what you want to wear, and that should be based on the weather, the occasion and the proper attire for the event.

Now, when he starts holding your skirt up to show others, that is simply horrible, and you must not allow it ever again.

I think your parents might have good insight as to what kind of boy he is, and they are looking out for you. Do not let this boy humiliate you ever again.

He is trying to control you, and by you going along with his wishes, you are letting him. I would not wear a skirt anywhere near him again.

I know you think he is great, but his behavior is the true test of goodness, and he failed the test. A good man would never let anyone see under his girls skirt, that is just wrong.

Last edited by writeleft; 01-05-2011 at 02:27 PM.

 
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Old 01-05-2011, 03:24 PM   #4
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Re: bf only wants me to wear short skirts

Dump his sorry butt. Don't let him disrespect your body, and certainly respect for it yourself. How much other people respect you will highly depend on how much you respect yourself.

 
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Old 01-05-2011, 04:03 PM   #5
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Re: bf only wants me to wear short skirts

Quote:
Originally Posted by troubled mind View Post
My bf wont go out with me unless i wear a short skirt no matter what the weather is or how cold. I dont want to lose him so i do it. My parents are not to keen on him,but everyone at school really likes him, if i leave the house wearing a pair of jeans i have to take a skirt with me and when we get around the corner he makes me put it on and hide the jeans in a bag to collect later before going home. Recently he has started lifting my skirt up at the back whenever someone is behind us, at first i thought it was a laugh,just a bit of fun but now he seems to hold it up more often and for longer and i'm feeling uncomfortable about it.
What should i do, he knows i dont want him to dump me
The other posters are right this man is trouble with a capital T. Lose him as soon as possible. I suspect actual abuse will follow.
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Old 01-05-2011, 04:52 PM   #6
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Re: bf only wants me to wear short skirts

Hey troubled mind,

Before i even saw what the others posted. I thought You want to dump him. not that you dont want him to dump you.

Your boyfriends behavior is wrong on every level. He has no right to tell you what you can and cant wear, the weather at the moment here and in chelmsford is freezing im sure your well aware of that. Like writeleft has said
Quote:
No one should demand you wear anything other than what you want to wear, and that should be based on the weather, the occasion and the proper attire for the event.
I know all the comments seem to be saying the same thing to dump him. But his actions do speak very loudly.

He maybe one of the 'so called popular boys' at school but that will change very quickly as you and everyone else within your year group grows up. Dont worry about whatever you may think they will say. Just tell them the truth if they ask.

He does seem to be very controlling, if that is the case it is likely to get worse the longer you let him get away with it. You stronger than him you can stop him from doing this to you. He isnt showing you any respect.

Your parents are just trying to protect you. Im only 20 so im not that old i dont think =) and even i can see where it is heading.

Hope your well and it gets better.

Dan
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Old 01-06-2011, 03:26 PM   #7
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Re: bf only wants me to wear short skirts

Thank you all for your comments, i have mentioned this to a couple of my friends, but they think i am really lucky to be going out with him and that he's only playing about, He never does it when my friends are about. Maybe i'm worrying to much, it's not as though he done anything really wrong and he has had a couple of people come from behind and thank him

 
Old 01-06-2011, 03:50 PM   #8
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Re: bf only wants me to wear short skirts

Hey troubled mind,

Your friends only think you are lucky to be going out with him because they dont see what he does to you.
Quote:
He never does it when my friends are about.
dump him and if your friends think your lucky and want to go out with him let them and let them find out what he is really like they will come back to you quickly and later on you will laugh about it. i know that seems harsh to let them go out with your bf but hopefully soon to be ex, but its the only way you will open their eyes.

What he is doing is wrong. There only thanking him because they get to see something and it gives them alittle something to talk about. Its not worth it, you dont deserve this.

In your heart you know its not right otherwise you wouldnt have posted about what others thought.
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Last edited by Diverdan8; 01-06-2011 at 04:48 PM.

 
Old 01-06-2011, 04:39 PM   #9
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Re: bf only wants me to wear short skirts

People have thanked him! Thanked him for showing your body to everyone who is in range of sight....and behind you? It is not his to be showing to anyone.

I am terribly sorry that you do not see anything wrong with that. Don't you imagine you look quite silly walking around in a short skirt in the freezing weather while your boy flips it up for his pals to see? Please do not allow this boy to ruin your reputation this way. Could they be taking pictures that end up being passed all around or on the internet? It only takes a second.

This is quite disturbing to me. Being a young woman, I can see how this attention may feel fine, but please think again. May I ask your ages?

Last edited by writeleft; 01-06-2011 at 04:39 PM.

 
Old 01-06-2011, 05:34 PM   #10
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Re: bf only wants me to wear short skirts

All I can say is listen to your gut. You came here because you knew that what he was doing was wrong, and it makes YOU uncomfortable.

I remember the teen years, and they are hard. Always trying to fit in, always worrying what other people will think.

But if you think about it, sometimes the person you respect the most is the one that just does what they want, and they don't care what anyone thinks. In your case, I hope you choose to respect YOURSELF enough to dump this lout. He's treating you disrespectfully, and even he knows it: As you said, he doesn't treat you that way in front of other people. Only when you are alone.

You are too good for him. At some point, you will realize that. The choice you will have to make is, are you going to break up with him and keep your self-respect?

No matter what choice you make, however, this will be a learning experience for you.

Hugs to you, and good luck.

 
Old 01-06-2011, 08:09 PM   #11
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Re: bf only wants me to wear short skirts

Look here hun, i'm a guy myself. I know guys like him and they are all the same. The world is thier rollercoster and were just along for the ride. It's a horrible thing to do to a girl. AI'm sure you could ask any respectable man or women and they will all tell you the same thing. Leave him. But it's your choice, we will never change. As much as wemon think we will we wont. Do the right thing.

 
Old 01-06-2011, 08:52 PM   #12
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Re: bf only wants me to wear short skirts

Troubled Mind, I really hope denial works out for you. It does not work out well for most. I hope you have a Great Life!
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Old 01-06-2011, 09:42 PM   #13
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Re: bf only wants me to wear short skirts

Quote:
Originally Posted by writeleft View Post
People have thanked him! Thanked him for showing your body to everyone who is in range of sight....and behind you? It is not his to be showing to anyone.

I am terribly sorry that you do not see anything wrong with that. Don't you imagine you look quite silly walking around in a short skirt in the freezing weather while your boy flips it up for his pals to see? Please do not allow this boy to ruin your reputation this way. Could they be taking pictures that end up being passed all around or on the internet? It only takes a second.

This is quite disturbing to me. Being a young woman, I can see how this attention may feel fine, but please think again. May I ask your ages?
i'm 14 he is 15

 
Old 01-07-2011, 10:37 AM   #14
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Re: bf only wants me to wear short skirts

You're both still young! He has absolutely no right to be doing that to you. If you're friends think you're lucky to be forced to wear a short skirt all the time and be displayed to other people without you're wanting, then that's an odd thing to consider lucky. Be smart about this, and try and look at it from an outsider point of view. It's absolutely not okay if you don't want it to be happening.

 
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Old 01-07-2011, 03:30 PM   #15
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Re: bf only wants me to wear short skirts

Going to explain how i feel to him this weekend

Last edited by moderator2; 01-12-2011 at 06:44 PM.

 
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