okay so my mind is being really annoying and wont make a decision on something. I currently am seeing the most amazing guy ever and i fell in love with him and i dont want to leave him....heres the issue. my ex bf i dated for a year and a half. he was my first real relationship. i was in love with him and we ended up having sex. my parents found out and told the police. so we were forced apart until i turn 18. him and i still talk and he wants to get back together when i turn 18. idk what to do because i love my new bf but i also love him. i feel extremely disloyal to my current bf by talking to him. and idk if its worth the wait anymore. i love them both but i am questioning what i really want. i think i want my current bf but im scared ill end up alone. please help me. i really have no idea what to do about this. i want to tell my ex that its not worth it..but then i feel like ive been lying to him this entire time. ughh! help!
I hope I can help a bit..I think it is unrealistic for you to wait until you are 18 years old to date your ex again. Relationships during your teen years should be kept light and fun, with no anticipation of lasting forever. I do not know how long it is until you are 18, but since the relationship is forbidden by your parents anyway, you should keep yourself away from him until you become an adult. There is a good chance that you will have changed your mind by then anyway. The teenage years are for discovery about yourself and what you want out of life. It is also time to get your education. The rest of your time should be having fun.
May I ask, how will your parents feel about you dating another boy, is that OK?
Another thing that should be important to you is establishing trust between you and your parents. Since it sounds like there has already been a big hit to your relationship with your parents with the ex, I would try and earn that trust back by keeping your lifestyle within the limits your parents have set for you.
You mention that you are afraid of ending up alone, I would put that out of your mind for now. The most important thing for you is to keep your life free of excess drama and confusion.
I encourage you to free yourself of your promise to your ex boyfriend, although I know it will be hard to. It is not fair of him to ask you to do so. When the time comes, and you happen to be over 18, and the ex comes along, you can then choose what you want to do. Until then, do what you wnat to do with whom ever you want to, which should include friends, both girls and boys, and your family, who are the most important people that will always be there for you and want the very best for you.
I look forward to hearing what your thoughts are now that you have had a conversation with the ex that did not go well. Could you fill us in on what that means?
I would encourage you not to have to pick one boy over another, but to allow yourself the freedom to do what you want. That will get you more that you will get by simply tying yourself down to another boy.
I hope we can help you with your decision...
janet
Last edited by writeleft; 06-10-2011 at 10:15 PM.
The Following User Says Thank You to writeleft For This Useful Post: Kali333 (06-26-2011)
thank you for responding. the thing is, i love my ex to death and i know it seems stupid because i am a teenager but i have been in other relationships and none of them even compare to the one i had with my ex. I dont ever want to lose him. I know that i want him. I have tried dating others and i am currently seeing another guy but the relationship isnt as meaningful as the one with my ex idk what to do i feel like a terrible person for loving someone else while dating my current bf. thanks for helping me tho. i really appreciate the advice.
Both my sons (19 and 21) were in relationships with girls that went back to their ex-boyfriends after a few months. My sons were devastated. I would not date anyone if you want to get back with your ex. There's no reason you can't be on your own for a while. You don't need a man in your life every second. The longer you wait, the more hurt the one you leave will be.
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