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Old 07-25-2011, 10:05 AM   #1
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What's the best thing to do?

A few days ago I ended my relationship after 1.5 years. I have always loved and cared about her deeply, even though I thought we would be better apart. Anyways I felt rushed through the breakup. My family and friends were pressuring me and convincing me to do it and then one night I went and did it. I didn't have many answers or reasons for her and I feel like that broke my heart more than it did hers.

Now I feel as if I need to get back with her. I miss her and want to be with her now more than ever and I don't know if these are normal feelings or a sign that I really should get back with her. I broke up with her out of the blue and now I'm regretting it. I feel as if I should have atleast talked about it with her and given us a chance to fix things, but instead I jumped the gun and ended it.

Should I try to get her back? And if so when? I told her to give eachother space for a few weeks, but I simply can't go that long without being in some sort of contact with her. It's only been a few days and I feel lost without her.

One other thing is as I was talking with her, I felt like I should have stopped it there and told her we should work things out, but again I was pressured by the feeling that I went there for a purpose and I need to be firm about it, so I had to keep going with it even though I didn't really want to

 
Old 07-25-2011, 10:12 AM   #2
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Re: What's the best thing to do?

why were your family and friends pressuring you to break up with her?
what are the reasons?
why do you feel you'd be better apart?

 
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Old 07-25-2011, 10:21 AM   #3
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Re: What's the best thing to do?

My family and friends were pressuring me because they saw I wasn't happy for maybe the week that they saw me, and then I mentioned that I have thought of breaking up with her before and then they all went from there.

My reason is that I feel as if she loves me more than I can love her, and I don't really think that's fair for her. Also that she is very shy around anyone she meets and is rarely willing to do anything social with me or our friends, and I'm the opposite so it gets a little tiring.

I guess right now what I wanted was to just go out and be a normal, single college student, but I feel like I could be giving up a true relationship and I don't want to do that.

 
Old 07-25-2011, 10:29 AM   #4
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Re: What's the best thing to do?

so basically she's into you more than you're into her......
and you don't see that changing ?
is there a reason you feel that way?

 
Old 07-25-2011, 10:40 AM   #5
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Re: What's the best thing to do?

That's how it feels at this moment and for the past month or two maybe. Yet when I was breaking up with her she had told me that she went through the same feelings and got through it, so that made me wonder whether or not it's just a phase or it's really over.

I think that it's possible for that feeling to change based on the fact that I was the one contributing the most to the relationship in the begginning, and now it's reversed.

I suppose I feel that way because maybe I'm just losing interest in the relationship. As i said she's not very social and so there is nothing new that happened in our relationship and nothing spontaneous i guess.

 
Old 07-25-2011, 10:42 AM   #6
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Re: What's the best thing to do?

can you talk to her and tell her you'd like her to be a little more social?
is this something that could be fixed?

 
Old 07-25-2011, 11:09 AM   #7
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Re: What's the best thing to do?

I think that over time it could become better

 
Old 07-25-2011, 11:47 AM   #8
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Re: What's the best thing to do?

If you really do want her back, I suggest you move faster than not. A long time ago, I was the one in your ex's shoes. My girlfriend of two years broke it off with me bacause we were just going through a slow phase. She came to me a few days later and told me she thought she'd made a mistake. I told her I was really sorry to hear that but she broke my heart and I was ready to move on. Turns out that at that moment in time, I just could not forgive her for hurting me like that. I hope that if you really do want her back, she doesn't feel like I did way back then.

Also, in your case, I'd look very deeply into the reasons why you thought breaking up was the way to go. Is it possible your instincts are better than you think? I don't know the answer but I will say that if you were with this girl for a year and a half, you don't "get over" that in a couple days regardless of who made the move to end things. It could easily take a few months! Please proceed carefully and I wish you all the best!

 
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