Please read this threw,
Most of my life I was happy and had alot of friends. Now im a 16 year old about to be 17 sitting here typing on a saturday night in the summer about my life. I had alot of friends in elementary school. In 2001 I was flooded and my house was really bad. My family lost alot of baby picture and abunch of other irreplaceable things. Alot of my friends helped us during that time. They carried with me to middle school. In middle school I was friends with their friends and made alot my friends. I guess I can say I was a funny guy. I always tried making people laugh and would act stupid too. I didnt care what people thought of me cuz I always had friends and no one really mattered except them. Then I went on to highschool with those friends and made more. I also had alot senior and junior friends as a freshman. I was really happy. I didnt really care for my grades in school cuz I could always copy from someone. Then half way threw 9th grade I moved to my grandparents with my mom, dad and brother like 25 minutes away from where I used too and I still could go to same school. I had to wake up alot of ealier and was late alot but I still got to go there. During school my brother got wrongley arrested and charged with attempted murder. He didnt do it and were currently waiting to get it appealed. The only one who says he did it is the other suspect who had a problem with the kid who got shot and had a 3 page criminal record. My brother never got in trouble before and somehow the judge believed the other boy, Well he was in there for 6 months and my mother bailed him out. We had to move because they came to our grandparents house and had a seach and seizure warrent for a gun that they didnt find. My 80 year old grandparents almost had a heart attack. So we moved to an apartment for about 2 or 3 months. Then a day before school started I moved to a place about 45-50 minutes from where all my friends were. I had to start school in a new county where I knew no one.
Ive never been in this situation before and I didnt know what to do. I sat at lunch by myself. I didnt talk to people unless they talked to me, and I didnt know what to say. I would go over my bestfriends house every weekend and a whole lot of weed. Then when I would get home I would with my brother. A year passed and I still didnt have any friends. Just some aquantices, not like I hung out with them or anything.That summer all the old people I used to know would ask me where I been, and how am I, and I would just say not so good. I was embarressed because I turnt into a loner. They asked if I made friends and I said not really. That whole summer I wonder how many brain cells I fried. I mean I smoked way to much. My bestfriend dealt it and would always smoke me up. I didnt have to pay or nothing. So after that 11th grade started. I was still smoking alot and had no care in life. Or God. my brother still lived with us and was going to college and he worked. Getting his life good. We only smoked at night, he used to it go to sleep because pills wouldnt work with him and he didnt think it was bad. My brother and I would play PS3 and smoke weed like everyday together. He was really my only friend. The only one I cared about and could relate to anymore. Then he went to court and our idiot lawyer told him to speak. If he didnt there was no proof he was even there. 30 witness reports and not one with my brothers name on it. But he did and told him he was in car and got arrested and charged with like 5 different things. The judge sentenced him 30 years and 15 suspended, mandotory 5. The other boy got 7. During that time my brothers now wife was 6 months pregnant and lost their baby due to all the stress surronding them. The rest of last year I would just work out and not talk to no one. I thought everyone was stuck up and rich assholes.(And they kinda are) I dont know why I didnt want to socialize. Its not like no one would talk bad about me to my face atleast. People would invite me to sit at their table and I would sometimes but I didnt know what to talk about. Or they were like freshmen and I didnt wanna sit with them. So after the worst year of my life. I was so happy to get it over with. Then I would go to my bestfriends house again and drink and smoke. It just got wierd cuz I didnt know what to talk to him about also. We went to different schools, knew different people. He was like my brother at one point, both knew everything about eachother and could relate. He was the only one Ive hung out with the last 2 years, and I still do sometimes. We used to be so close now we barely even talk to eachother. I talk to his older brother more then I do him. Hes kinda like me,shy and quite. So about a month ago I quit smoking weed and can actually remember things now, and think clearly. I do drink with my mom sometimes when were bored and have nothing to do. My dad works out of state and comes home like a week out of every month. I havent had a girlfriend since 8th grade which was like for a week, and havent really talked to a girl like that since last summer. Im kinda, I wouldnt say scared to talk to beautiful girls just intiminated. I want to though but I dont even know what to talk about to my bestfrien. How can I talk to a beautiful girl? Well the past 2 weeks I have been sitting in my house doing nothing wasteing my life. Pale. Out of shape, havent worked out for months. And just depressed. I really wanna know what my problem is. Its not to bad if I can recoginize it, so for me theres still hope I could change in time to enjoy my last year of school. (Hopefully I have to pass 7 classes! And yah, I am a senior) Is there anything anyone suggest? Any idea whats wrong with me? Any way to help? Any medication I can take? I wanna know how to talk to people again and not being thinking of messing up while doing so. I want a I dont care what people think ima do me mentality. Thank you if you read this I appreciate it. God Bless.