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Old 08-08-2012, 07:24 PM   #1
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JennyGxx HB User
Can someone convince me not all guys are like this :(

Ok so this might not make any sense but I'm in such a stupid mess over an even more stupid guy. This may be a long post, so if you get to the end, well, I really appriciate it!

I'm 17, and I guess I kind of feel like I need a boy friend, its kind of just like somethings missing and I am behind everyone else my age. Theres a lot of reasons for that but it would take too long to explain everything. Either way, I get hit on a lot, so its not like I couldn't have a boy friend, but somehow I'm just fussy. But yesterday I somehow got so fed up of being behind everyone else that I went to the house of this guy I barely know, and it didn't go well, he tried to push himself on me and kind of partially suceeded. Hes much older than me and everything was just all wrong, but I just feel like I need to be with someone.

I feel like I'm never going to be with someone and it be right, like that no one will ever be with me for the right reasons :/. Am I being fussy here and asking for the impossible or do other girls feel the same? I am just really upset by yesterday and I wish that I could just be with someone nice because I do feel like I am ready for it, I just don't like being taken advantage of.

I probably feel this way because being in a gap year between school and college I'v been bored and not had much fun, so hoping maybe in a month when I'm at college things will change? I don't know.

Anyone felt similar?

 
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Old 08-09-2012, 03:34 AM   #2
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Re: Can someone convince me not all guys are like this :(

Hi Jenny, you're definitely not alone, i'm 20 and i've never had a proper boyfriend. For a long time i felt exactly like you...all my friends had boyfriends and it just felt like something i was meant to do to. Unfortunately this led to a few experiences like the one you described, i think i wanted to be with someone so much that i would sleep with guys that i didn't even like because i thought i needed to please them. Guys like that though do tend to turn out to be complete *****s sorry.

That doesn't mean all guys are like that though, after my first year of uni i decided to stop consciously looking for a relationship, surprise surprise that's when i ended up meeting someone who did turn out to be a very nice guy. But after all that i decided i wasn't even ready for a relationship, i have close friends who i like being able to out with and spend time with without the pressures of a boyfriend. It did however reassure me that when i do decide i want to be with someone that there are nice guys out there and i don't repulse all of them.

Sorry for rambling but i guess what i'm trying to say is think about why you really want a boyfriend, because if the only reason is you feel like you're meant to have one then chances are you'll end up settling for someone who won't make you very happy. If you force yourself to like and be with someone then it definitely won't feel right but that doesn't mean it'll never be right with anyone. You'll meet a tonne of new guys in college, and again if you decide to go to uni or at a job....you don't want to miss out on the right guy because you're already in a relationship with the wrong guy.

hope i helped. hugs.

 
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Old 08-09-2012, 05:12 AM   #3
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Re: Can someone convince me not all guys are like this :(

Quote:
Originally Posted by charlotte50 View Post
Hi Jenny, you're definitely not alone, i'm 20 and i've never had a proper boyfriend. For a long time i felt exactly like you...all my friends had boyfriends and it just felt like something i was meant to do to. Unfortunately this led to a few experiences like the one you described, i think i wanted to be with someone so much that i would sleep with guys that i didn't even like because i thought i needed to please them. Guys like that though do tend to turn out to be complete *****s sorry.

That doesn't mean all guys are like that though, after my first year of uni i decided to stop consciously looking for a relationship, surprise surprise that's when i ended up meeting someone who did turn out to be a very nice guy. But after all that i decided i wasn't even ready for a relationship, i have close friends who i like being able to out with and spend time with without the pressures of a boyfriend. It did however reassure me that when i do decide i want to be with someone that there are nice guys out there and i don't repulse all of them.

Sorry for rambling but i guess what i'm trying to say is think about why you really want a boyfriend, because if the only reason is you feel like you're meant to have one then chances are you'll end up settling for someone who won't make you very happy. If you force yourself to like and be with someone then it definitely won't feel right but that doesn't mean it'll never be right with anyone. You'll meet a tonne of new guys in college, and again if you decide to go to uni or at a job....you don't want to miss out on the right guy because you're already in a relationship with the wrong guy.

hope i helped. hugs.
Thanks for replying, I'm glad I'm not totally alone! I kind of just feel like its wrong that I'm a virgin, and I know really thats kinda not true I am sure theres a lot of 17 year olds who still are :L. Infact for a short time I thought that I was going to sleep with this guy from the other day just to try to be with him which is so wrong and luckily I woke up this morning and sense came over me that he wasn't a nice person and I didn't need to just let him have exactly what he wants when he isn't so great to me.

I don't think I just want a boy friend because I feel like I should, like, there are parts of being in a relationship that I really do want, it feels like theres just something missing in my life and I think thats it. I am hoping you are right about college and that I will find someone. I did have one guy about a year ago and he was great but I managed to stupidly screw it up myself. You are right though, I don't want to be with someone wrong now and miss out on the right guy, but I am picky and think I'll struggle to ever find someone thats right, the second I get a wiff of inconsiderateness or laziness from someone thats it I'm off them so maybe I'm not helping myself by being so insanely hard to please!

Who knows, but thanks again for your reply, I'm glad I'v got myself out of thinking I was going to sleep with this idiot! xx

 
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Old 08-09-2012, 01:28 PM   #4
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Re: Can someone convince me not all guys are like this :(

Hi, JennyGxx, I am a bit older than you, but I have had some time coping with being single myself. I am also quite picky when it comes to daing, so I really have to gather all my strength to even try to meet guys. I think everyone desires to feel needed and loved by someone, so I guess what you're feeling is normal. I think that since you're young, you are still learning about yourself and what you want. There are lots of fun things to do that don't include being in a relationship. You should take take being single as an opportunity to do some enjoyable activities with friends and families. Though it is difficult to resist the urge to be physically intimate with a guy, try to develope a friendship first so that the both of you have a deeper understanding of each other. I know its easier said than done, but it will prevent you from feeling you are being taking adavantage of. I hope this helped you, and you do have many years ahead of you to find the person you feel is right for you.

 
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