Re: My best friend is 15 and pregnant .
I want to say first it is soo very sweet of you and you are a true friend to this girl. I understand your want to help her fiancially but the fact that you are a teen yourself and dont have the means to provide for her, mean just that. I know that your heart is in the right place and I give you applause for that. I was 15 when I got pregant. The father denied it and took off as soon as he found out. I can give you some tips to pass onto her.
She needs to first apply for healthcare through the state if her parents insurance does not cover it. Some do but some do not. Now, she also needs to apply for WIC. I was soo embarassed, humiliated etc when I had to do this. I did not want to live off the government and felt like everyone judged me. I am now an adult and realize that if I had not, we would not have survived. There are people who abuse the help of the government but tell her that she is not that. These places were set up to help people that needed them. I am proud to say that I am no longer on assistance. I was one who needed it, used it only when I needed it and went off as soon as I could.
Ok now onto more: Check our local recources. There was a place in my area that helped with lamase classes. They at the end gave me diapers, formula and a crib. I was fourtunate enough that another couple donated their old crib so I was able to give it back to give to another mommy in need. Do research to find organizations that will help her with things the baby will need as well as parenting classes, support groups etc.
I know that you dont have the financial means to help her but I can tell you that just being her friend and helping her with the above means more than material things or money. My pregancy was a shock to my family and friends. By my 2nd trimester all but 1 of my friends had abbandoned me. They did not want to be known as having a teen mom as a friend. Said that they would be labled as a ****. Funny thing about that. The guy that I got pregant with was the first guy that I had slept with and they all had multiple people that they had.
Stick by her side. She will be grumpy and moody at times I am warning you. But what she needs the most right now is a friend. Her parents need to get involved in making this guy stand up. Dont dog him out though. Look at things from his side. You admit they dont know each other well so he has that to think about. He is also just as scared as your friend. And that can be some of the reason he is acting like that. He too is trying to process it all and guys handle things differently than girls do.
I am sorry this was so long, I just wanted to give you the best advice that I could. Stick by her side, help her find organizations that will help in your area if you want. The rest of the responsibility lies in the hands of her and the guy. Her parents may or may not help and she needs to be prepared for that, But there are places to help her either way. I wish you and your friend the best of luck. This is not the end of her life. It is going to be hard. She is going to have to give up a lot. But she can chose to let it ruin the rest of her life, or look at it as a detour. Many teen moms cannot face the fact that their lives have changed. I raised my child on my own. I should have gone to college straight out of high school. But I didnt. I do have an ok job but have worked some pretty crappy ones. I am proud to say that I am almost complete with my 3rd semester of college and wish I would have done it a long time ago. I do not regret my child. I just wished I could have had her after I had gone to college and gotten a better job so that I would be able to provide the things that she needed instead of being able to provide her with those things later.