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-   -   just needing to vent at this moment (http://www.healthboards.com/boards/thyroid-disorders/105057-just-needing-vent-moment.html)

roni624 08-19-2003 10:10 PM

just needing to vent at this moment
 
All of this has happened so fast. My symptoms just keep adding up and won't stop. I thought I was getting better. I have been taking my meds and vitamins regularly and know I have started to experience difficulty swallowing. I have had this before but not like this. I have all kinds of symptoms that are just so annoying. I wish they would all go away. My dh knows what is going on but not in detail. I have told him about some of my symptoms but not all. I just don't want to bring him down too. I can see now how some people go through depression while having thyroid problems. I have alsways had a normal healthy life. I think the thyroid started up know way before the babies came. I noticed I had changed after about a year with my bf(DH). I saw myself get mad over any little thing. I was moody and fiesty. It seemed like my whole demeanor changed. I even wanted to blame my bf(DH) for this. After I had my second child I noticed it got worse. It seems like you never get a break from your symptoms. When one leaves another one comes or even better some decide to come all at once. I am not happy about taking meds everyday for the rest of my life(I'm only 30) I can't even explain to my dh that I cannot go outside because the heat hurts. I have to wait till a little before dusk to take the kids out to play. There have been times we have taken them out during the day and I usually pay for it later. I guess I am going through a little depressive state. I don't understand why it is so hard to heal us. We all suffer. Some of us suffer so much that we end up with other problems (psyc). I used to think people having to take psyc drugs were weird but now I know some of us can't help it at all. I think I may be headed in that direction if I don't get any better. This is so depressing. I would love to be normal again. My family needs me and there is so much I want to do for them. Sorry about all of this...I will probably be better tomorrow. Just having a low right now.-Roni

tamnter 08-20-2003 04:41 AM

hi roni,
it is hard sometimes. there were times when i thought i'd just give up. i have 3 boys and i know what you mean. its hard to take care of them sometimes. i used to have a really short fuse too! there was one day when i asked my husband if he thought i used to be happier. this was before i knew i had hypothyroidism. well, thank god i found a doc to treat me, that took a while. i am on 210 mg of armour thryoid now and seem to be getting better. i still have a day when maybe my legs are sore and achy or i have a shorter fuse, but overall its been much better. before the medicine i hated myself, and for no particular reason. i lost like 5 pounds so far. i didn't need to lose a lot of weight, i've always been a small person, but i gained about 10- 15 pounds from the thyroid thing. i am back to working out again, thank god! i want to lose like maybe 5-8 more pounds and its right in my stomach! I am way obsessed over that! i drive myself nuts!

what meds are you on? are you still being increased? make sure you tell your doc what a hard time you're having. i know sometimes it just seems like too much complaining, but you'll never feel better til you get enough.
i'll be praying for you and hope you feel better soon!!

tamnter

dea4 08-20-2003 09:40 AM

Roni,
I read your frustration and totally understand and relate. This is such a frustrating illness and it can fluctuate with weather changes as well. :( Seems like we never can get to feeling good for any length of time, your right, its always something, one thing gets better and here comes another problem to replace it, ARGH ARGH ARGH!!!

My oldest says "Mom you never feel good" sad but pretty much true.
Its hard with kids because they don't really understand especially when they are small.

And the heat, eeekkk, I can't stand it, I will also wait till evening to go outside but then we have the crazy west nile mosquitoes we have to worry about.

I just got my bloodwork back yesterday and my levels are off again, but the strange thing is I don't feel as bad (I don't feel real good either) but I don't feel as bad as I did when they were more in range and only my T3 was off, so go figure.

Hang in there, its nice to know we arn't alone in our suffering and can come on here and vent and know that those here truely understand how we feel. :)

[This message has been edited by dea4 (edited 08-20-2003).]

KarenDesmondC 08-20-2003 09:53 AM

I want to offer my support to you and to tell you to hang in there. I am just learning how important diet is for the absorption of the meds.
I have been asking my body to tell me what it wants and how to heal. It may sound funny, but it gives me a moment to meditate and to sort of quiet and sooth myself. I feel more empowered since I have started doing this and I have been thinking I should ask my Dr to have my levels checked every 4 months, instead of 6.
Anyway I hope this helps.
Karen

roni624 08-20-2003 02:02 PM

Thanks for the replys. I still feel the same today...but the venting helped. Reading your posts brought tears to my eyes. Maybe I am just emotional...I don't know. AF is visiting me right now so that may have a lot to do with it. I have always been this strong powered woman. I have always been able to do anything if I set my mind to it and now I feel like some kind of weak "hypo"chondiac. I never use to visit a dr...maybe once a year(gyn). After childbirth I feel like I live in a drs office now. I want to call my dr and tell him about my throat area swelling but I am afraid of whining about every little thing I find wrong with me. I don't know you all. I wish none of us had to experience this. I will be as strong as I can be. I have been searching all kinds of information since I was diagnosed. This board has helped me out tremendously. I thank everyone of you all for all of your help and support. God bless you all and i hope we can have a clear answer and simple solution to solving our disorders.-Roni

kael 08-20-2003 08:46 PM

Oh Roni -

Listen, don't feel bad at all about venting - remember mine last week???? It was longer than your's!!!

I so understand your anger and sadness about not being 'the real you' right now - I was just like you - at the doctor's once a year for a pap, and that was it. Even flu's don't keep me down. This summer???? I was so sick my butt didn't leave the couch for 3 months. My kids were petrified. I thought I was dying (for real). I wrote them all goodbye letters and spent every minute I could snuggling with my 3 year old.

This is all so foreign to me. I have been hypothyroid for 20 years - no big deal - all of a sudden I feel like my body is a foreign country.

PLEASE be gentle on yourself. I can tell that you are a great, loving mom - and if I can tell, when I don't even know you, your kids certainly know that. Remember that kids don't have the same expectations of us that we do of ourselves. Be flexible. Try to maintain a sense of humor. (Impossible sometimes!) And write your little heart out here! Every time someone shares here, we all get something out of it!

Saying a prayer for you!

Big Hugs,
Kael

------------------
Practice Compassion...Heal The World

roni624 08-20-2003 09:20 PM

Thanks Kael....
It does feel better when others post back and show their support. You have been great support for me. I really do appreciate it. I a considering seeing an allergist to see if maybe certain foods may be causing some of this. Right now I will just about try anything to make myself better. I don't feel as emotional as I did last night. I think my biggest issue is my weight. I need to lose some weight. I am considered mildly overweight according to my dr. I joined The Thanksgiving weight loss challenge on the weight loss forum to help me get going. I was hoping those here who need to lose would join just so I can relate to them.-Roni

jinglebts 08-21-2003 08:55 PM

roni,

i'm posting to show my support too, as anything can make you feel off ... the weather, in particular, it's so HOT (you mean you have mosquitoes in texas? we have them too, and the first birds have died of west nile) ... i can't imagine imagine looking after kids in this state (i'm in my 50's) ...

i'm tired again, and haven't felt like i was in my own body for seven months -- cold, raging, depressed, aching -- with two or three months' respite, then back to tired, stunned ... will i ever get over this? i'm beginning to feel like i won't ...

so keep the faith, roni, and maybe we'll both get over this nasty thing that has inhabited our bodies ...

:D jb

ANNETTE H 08-22-2003 04:57 AM

Hi. Yes,this is a tuff thing for you and everyone around you. The other night at a board meeting I had to leave the room. I thought I would crawl across the table and smack this women if she said one more word!!! and she did!!! But she is also one of my best friends!!! I just turned to the women sitting next to me(she is Hypo-T longer than me)and said "My thyroid and I are out of here!" I feel that every conversation starts or ends with Hypo-T!!! So here is a room full of people that have no idea what had just happened.

kael, glad to see someone with more than a few years of Hypo-T. Things, like this BB are so much better then anything we started with even 20 years ago :) It is really difficult to understand why todays drs don't seen to have a better grip on this.

jinglebts, I'm with you! It has been a daily struggle at times and keeping a family going seems impossible.

I just had an endo(published,instructor at university) tell me(with my hubby there)that Hypo-T MAY cause total a 1% of weight gain! There were weeks in my life that I could gain 1% a day! It is scary to think that this man teachs new drs :( Self education is our best hope! For starters I like Thyroid Power by Shames. Sticking together and sharing with each other is a truly wonderful thing.

roni624 08-22-2003 04:36 PM

Annette....the incident with the board meeting is something I go through also. I am a stay at home mom(and that is probably a good thing) My dh's friends hear it from me all the time. It is a good thing they all have a good sense of humor and put up with me kindly. They joke about it later.
That is scary knowing that our future drs are not being educated correctly. Thank goodness for this board.-Roni


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