I have a BAD case of hypothyroidism. Basically, my thyroid doesn't spit out any hormone. I was very, very, depressed before they diagnosed me. I thought I was blue because I had gained weight and had started to have health problems. Once on the thyroid meds, which took a year to get me up to the full amount, I felt much better.
However, the depression came back. I hate to admit it, but much like your mother, my house was a mess (big time), and I started chain smoking again after 7 years of not smoking. After talking to my primary care dr., I'm on Zoloft and it makes a HUGE difference. I have energy, my house is clean, and I'm not beating myself up any more.
It sounds like your Mom takes her depression out on you. If I were you, I’d start treating this like depression rather than a thyroid problem. Call her doctor and tell him/her what is going on. He’ll start by checking her thyroid. You, or your Dad, may need to accompany her to the appointment to make sure she goes and that she is honest. Help her understand that with treatment her life will get better. If she’s stubborn, you may need the whole family to do an intervention. Check out this link, it has a list of symptoms and explains depression: http://www.************.com/communit.../support_6.asp
Try to understand that people with depression don't act like themselves. Your mother is ill and needs help.
Good luck! I'm sorry this is so hard on you!