kael

Hi. I just checked in here for the first time in a long time. Thank you for thinking of me. I am still struggling. Some of my symptoms have improved, some are still challenging. I am eating better. My twitches are almost non-existent, but my central nervous system is still not right. I have tremors in different parts of my body and some weakness when it acts up the worst.

My biggest challenge right now is sleeping. I had gotten much better, to 7-8 hours (though broken) but this week, all of a sudden 3-5 hours. When I don't sleep I don't deal well with everything else going on in my body.

I'm still scared, not knowing what has happened to me. I am angry, wondering why I have to go through this because I do not deserve this nightmare and neither do my precious children. And, at the best of times, I am grateful for what this experience has done to my soul - for the strength I have accessed and for the level of compassion it has brought me to.

I am working with two alternative healers who work on the energy systems of the body - one with the central nervous system, tissues, spinal fluid and bones, the other with the electromagnetic energy field of the whole person.

I am hopeful when I look at how much better I am than I was two months ago, and get scared when I want it to be gone and want to feel normal again. You just don't hear about this type of thing happening to people, so I feel very alone sometimes. It has terrorized me to a point.

Roni, you are a sweetie for thinking of me still. And Barb, you too! I have not forgotten any of you, I just got to a point where I felt that I needed to do everything in my power to distract myself from giving any outside attention to my illness. I just wanted to drain the power from it, if that makes any sense.

Robb and I have not separated, and he has committed to keeping us in our current house through the end of the school year. In the meantime, that is tough on me because I don't fully want to be in the relationship any longer. But for right now, I can only just handle so much. My health and my kids are the most important. I will give it my best shot.

Love to you all!

Kael

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Practice Compassion...Heal The World

[This message has been edited by kael (edited 09-19-2003).]

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Practice Compassion...Heal The World