I just read your story. I felt so bad for you because all of us on this board has been in that situation. Before I was diagnosed, I felt like you and didn't know what to do. My TSH was about 57 when I was diagnosed and it has taken over 7 years of adjustment to get to feel better. My poor hubby and kids have also suffered through my illness.
I sure hope you can get to feeling better. Maybe synthroid isn't right for you. Maybe you need to try some T3. I take Cytomel and synthroid. Keep us posted.