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Old 09-10-2004, 02:16 PM   #1
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Unhappy Support at home/work

How is everyones support from family and friends. I have some that really understand. Usually they know more about the disease(I'm hypo-t). But sometimes I get the feeling people just think its an excuse. Like when you say your tired. I hear comments like well we all get tired. I get so sick of it. I want to feel happy and peppy again. Don't they get it. Obviously no. Sorry just a bad week and decided to blow off steam here......venting is now done

 
Old 09-10-2004, 02:28 PM   #2
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Re: Support at home/work

Venting is a good thing. I find doing that makes me feel better. Especially when there is no one around you that really knows anything about thyroid problems. If they would just study about it then they would know.

I don't have to many problems with people saying I am lazy.But, you never know what is going on inside their heads.

They just need to read abou thyroid problems, then they will know.

Don't feel guilty it's not our fault.

Hang in there

 
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Old 09-10-2004, 04:28 PM   #3
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Wink Re: Support at home/work

Heddy,
You are definitely not alone! It is actually nice to see someone else vent. I was afraid that i would wear out my Keyboard and people's patience here, by venting so much. But... that didn't happen. what i did find, here, was a lot of wonderful, supportive people, who have helped me get through some very very difficult times....no matter how much or how often i've posted. even if it was just by giving me a virtual hug. So here's one for you. {{{{{Heddy}}}}} As for me, I do not have much of a support system. And, have heard all of the "you need to's" Including the ones like "you need to get out and do more" (like i have the energy) or better yet, when the sadness gets unbearable "you need to stop feeling sorry for yourself" (Why didn't I just think of that, right?) On good days, i can say "they just don't understand," and let it go. But on bad days.... it is easier to believe the bad stuff. That is why this place, and these people have been such a blessing. They UNDERSTAND!!!! So take comfort in their wisdom, and their caring ... and know that you are not alone!
bubblebug (Diana)

 
Old 09-10-2004, 06:34 PM   #4
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Re: Support at home/work

Boy, do I understand! My dh has thrown this up in my face a couple of times: "I know a few people with hypothyroidism and they don't act like you do!"
I believe there are more people who have little problems with hypothyroidism than those of us who have terrible problems with it. And everyone is different. My husband just seems to think this is a cookie cutter disease and it shouldn't affect me at all. I know people who are perfectly fine and dandy with hypothyroidism too. But for whatever reason, I am not. My whole body has been affected. Nothing has been spared. Yet because I "look" ok, I must be. At least that's what the general feeling is of those around me.
I have a dear friend who has a very progressive form of Multiple Sclerosis. Can you believe that people treat her like that too? About 3x a year, she has a serious relapse where she winds up in the hospital on IV meds. Yet when she's in remission, they think she's perfectly fine just because she looks that way.
My husband of all people should understand. He's had both hips replaced. He has handicap plates because he's supposed to limit his walking. People look at him funny when he parks in a handicap spot because he doesn't "look" handicapped. When are people going to learn that looks can be deceiving???
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Old 09-15-2004, 12:59 PM   #5
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Re: Support at home/work

Yeah I have a husband that has asthma when that is bothering then he is the worst off person in the world....but I have bad days most of the time and get little sympathy. I give up trying to explain. I was told if you just excersise more you'd feel better. Yeah right some days it takes all my energy to haul myself off the couch to go to work, Blah to excersise. I know its good for me.....but I get tired then excersise makes it worse.

 
Old 09-15-2004, 01:12 PM   #6
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suem HB User
Re: Support at home/work

Heddy, I also know the feeling. I was told that I worry and talk about my hypothyroid problem too much. But when a friend or family member expects
you to go somewhere or do something extra, it may be too much for me that day. I have tried to stop explaining why I can not do some things.
I have not had the calls I expected. I feel I have always been there
for others. Some days when a word of encouragement or a trip to the store
would help. It doesnt happen. Everyone is busy with their own lives.
And until you are affected by thyroid problems, some just dont get it.
I'm thankful for the support and sharing with this board. It helps.
I wish you the best and a return to good health
suem

 
Old 09-15-2004, 01:41 PM   #7
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Re: Support at home/work

I know just how you feel . My biggest problem is my brother who I work with he just looks at me like I'm making it up the only time he care was when I had / and just after my op , I think he thinks I make it all up

Sara xx
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Old 09-15-2004, 01:55 PM   #8
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Angry Re: Support at home/work

Oh don't get me started on this one!

My mum has been very hard to deal with since I became ill. Totally unsympathetic ("snap yourself out if it") and unsupportive. I even took her to see the specialist with me so she might get an insight and she ended up taking over with her own problems. I have since given her books to read but she still doesn't seem to care. ArgggHhh!

I am on the verge of falling out with her BIG TIME and I'm not sure how we will get over this one as I feel very hurt.

But on the otherhand, my boyfriend has been a true star. He's never faltered in his support and understanding. He travels with me to the UK to see the specialist, has arranged a cleaner so I don't have to worry about doing housework, hugs me when I need it and takes me for drives after a 12 hour day so I get out the house. he has put up with moods, crying and despair.

If there has been a good thing to come out of this, it's that our relationship has grown stronger.

Felix x

Last edited by Felix73; 09-15-2004 at 01:59 PM.

 
Old 09-15-2004, 06:52 PM   #9
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Re: Support at home/work

I am finding this topic would have to be one of the hardest aspect I have had to deal with.

I have one family member that understands (and she is sick herself). The rest seem to think everything is o'k and if I lost weight and exercised more - than I would be fantastic. Even my husband thinks I am lazy and thinks I should help him out more (this is on top of everything I push myself to do - university, 5yr old child, income generating hobby). My husband even proclamed that surely it isn't 'impossible' to lose weight when suffering thyroid problems.

Sometimes I wish I could go away and coocoon myself from any further hurt and insensitivity. Little do they all know that if I had the energy to start running - I might just keep on running and never come back (run, Forrest, run).

Last edited by LMS1306; 09-15-2004 at 08:21 PM.

 
Old 09-15-2004, 08:19 PM   #10
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Re: Support at home/work

This can definitely be a big problem. I've found that the least I say the better. If I'm tired, I don't say I'm tired, I try to quietly slip away for a nap. If it's not possible, I just try to keep going thinking about that couch that's waiting for me. It seems as if people don't want to hear the word "thyroid", and as soon as they do, they start thinking we're crying wolf. Maybe it's because they feel helpless that they can't help us, so they respond by ignoring it or trying to make light of it. The last thing I want to do is justify to anyone else why I feel bad, so I just feel bad by myself. For me, keeping my thyroid problems to myself with family and friends makes for a more harmonious life. That's what so great about message boards such as these -- you know people here understand, so if it gets too much, you know you can always find a sympathetic ear.

 
Old 09-16-2004, 11:22 AM   #11
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Re: Support at home/work

I understand completely. I wasn't told about how my life was about to shoot out from under me when I got my thyroid removed. I would have NEVER done it. I'm such a fool. Maybe something else would have killed me first. I interviewed four doctors beforehand and not one gave even the slightest clue.

Now my abusive mother keeps threatening to put me in an insitution for the mentally ill, and I'm paralyzed with grief over my boyfriend. I wrecked my life.

I have no one to talk to.

The folks here are nice though. Listen to them.

Good luck.

Last edited by softcrush; 09-16-2004 at 05:29 PM. Reason: too negative:(

 
Old 09-18-2004, 07:00 AM   #12
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Re: Support at home/work

Thanks everyone who posted...I love this board and have it book marked for easy access.I give up trying to make other people feel ok with my illness. You know what I did not ask to be sick. It happened after I had my first son. I wouldn't give him up for the world to have my body back to "normal".I will move forward and not look back.
Good luck to everyone on their journey.....

 
Old 09-18-2004, 04:04 PM   #13
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Re: Support at home/work

My mam totally understands as she has thyroid probs too!! My workmates understand if lm ill l will say l cant come in actually l think they gota shock when they seen how down hill lve become l never speak about it really to anyone apart from you guys now my partner on the other hand....................... can be a right pig!!! Im actually fed up to the back teeth of him for his sheer ignorance!!! I was there for him when he was really ill and could of ended up paralysed!! I honestly think he thinks 'oh good old niecsey strong as an ox!! she will be ok she always is' ARGHHHHH l will leave it there bfore l get angry! hahahahaha at least we have each other!!!

 
Old 09-18-2004, 07:32 PM   #14
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Re: Support at home/work

I hear you Heddy73 even though hypothyroid runs rampant in my family...
they still don't understand what I'm going through.I live alone so it's only
me and my symptoms.(My family doesn't live close)On the weekends
I could sleep forever(sometimes until 1pm)that's disgusting.I have the
means for exercise but I don't have the energy to do it.My family says
OH I haven't noticed any difference in you.I took some recent pictures
at work and I looked like BEETLEJUICE if anyone's ever seen that movie.
My hair has gotten so thin and I've gained so much weight.Pictures don't
lie..I look back at old pictures and see the big difference.

Last edited by dogtired; 09-18-2004 at 07:33 PM.

 
Old 09-19-2004, 06:16 AM   #15
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Re: Support at home/work

I too know how you all feel. Someone said to me just the other day, "Well, if you have this problem and you are on replacement or controling medication, shouldn't you be normal?" I guess they just don't realize that nothing works quite like you body did when it was normal. All things that work in theory do not work in reality.

God bless
Patience 50

 
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