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Old 06-05-2005, 09:51 PM   #1
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kimilyh HB User
So Tired...Depressed...Fat....!

Hi everyone,

I just had my total thyroidectomy April 27th and even though it's been 6 weeks since my surgery, I find that I'm in a real slump.

I have had my synthroid adjusted from 112mcg to 128mcg and I can't wait to go to the doctor again in 3 weeks to have it increased because I know it can't be right yet - it has to be too low. I am soooo tired...so depressed and gaining weight slowly and steadily.

I am silly to worry about this - things could have been so much worse. They are for many of you out there, I'm sure. My husband reminded me that I had the thyroid removed because they thought the six .5 to 1 inch nodules were cancerous and they were not. I ended up being diagnosed with the beginning stages of Graves Disease. My husband reminded me as I was pouting on Saturday (because none of my clothes fit) that at least I'm not going through chemo or some such horrible situation right now.

I agree. I am so grateful that things aren't worse, but I'm so sad that my life seems to be zest-less. I am too much in a constant fog, I ditched church today because I just didn't want to go through the whole "getting dressed" thing today. I don't want to see anyone, go anywhere, do anything.
Will this really end?

I read a post just a few minutes ago (forgot which one...sorry! it's brain fog!) that the poster asked, "will i ever feel better?" I am in that same boat. And, I'm in charge of teaching crafts for 4 days at a church camp for girls the 2nd week in July. Does ANYONE know how much I do not want to do it now??? I am DREADING IT with all my heart. I spent a couple of hours today alone trying to figure out a way to get out of the responsibility of doing it. I've already committed and thought I'd be feeling so much better by now. I can't even think of stupid things like CRAFTS and planning and shopping for them when the simplest of ordinary tasks here at home (with my 3 kids) are so overwhelming for me.

Then, I feel like a dork telling just anybody how I don't feel good. If they aren't going through this, they don't understand how dibilitating it is.

Basically, I'm just whining. I need a place to vent my frustrations with people who will be understanding, so i thank you in advance for listening to me.

I'm in awe of some of the situations that many of you are enduring. You all inspire me and your posts do encourage me and help me feel not so alone.
My best to all of you and your families.

thanks!

 
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Old 06-06-2005, 03:49 AM   #2
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pixiek HB User
Re: So Tired...Depressed...Fat....!

Hi! So sorry you are not feeling well! It does take time to adjust the meds...I am doing that myself right now. When you get your new labs, do post them here with the lab ranges. There are a lot of folks who can look at them and give suggestions. There are many kinds of meds for thyroid replacement, you may want to educated yourself on them. I would recommend this book: Living Well With Hypothyroidism by Mary Shomon. There is a lot of specific and general info. in that book. It is good to know that concering thyroid meds, some work for some people but not for others. For example I am low on T3 so will be going to Armour soon. Don't hang up the towel yet, it really does take time...that is hard isn't it? I am trying hard to be patient myself! Hope this helps!

Last edited by pixiek; 06-06-2005 at 03:51 AM.

 
Old 06-06-2005, 06:49 AM   #3
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MLWC HB User
Re: So Tired...Depressed...Fat....!

kimilyh--
I totally know what you mean. I feel like I'm whining or complaining whenever I feel bad and I want to talk about it. It's so hard to understand if you aren't going through it. My mom even has a thyroid disease, but since her's is hyper (Graves'), she thinks my having Hashi's (hypo) is somehow 'lucky'. (I think we just can't be having a bad day on the same day...haha)

Don't worry--you can always vent those frustrations here. People here understand. I felt for a while like I was a heel even to complain on the boards, but this community is very supportive. We ALL are having those days.

You have to remember that while you aren't undergoing chemotherapy or something that may be more horrific like that, it shouldn't MINIMIZE the seriousness of your own pain/frustration/disease. You DO have something you have to deal with everyday that a LOT of people don't.

Be kind to yourself. Especially on the tough days when you want to push your body and it won't go. I've been there, boy, and it's like dragging yourself through quicksand.

Hang in there...another day is always around the corner...you may even feel better...
-MLWC

 
Old 06-06-2005, 03:05 PM   #4
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Re: So Tired...Depressed...Fat....!

Thank you both for your comments. I appreciate it sooo much. More than words can say even, just because it feels good to finally say, "i feel like there's lead in my veins" to people who can reply with, "I KNOW how that feels." I got up this morning, took my shower, got dressed, did my makeup, went to the store, picked up my son from school and now feel as if I climbed Mt. Whitney or something. There's few who would understand that concept - feeling as though an entire day of energy has been drained from my body. Thank you very much. I will see my doctor in a couple or 3 weeks and will then get the thyroid numbers to post. Again....thanks for the support and understanding.
We're in this together.

 
Old 06-06-2005, 05:04 PM   #5
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shellshocked HB User
Re: So Tired...Depressed...Fat....!

kimilyh---
That's funny---I felt like I was climbing some mountain the last couple of weekends too! Oh, and I'm wearing the same pair of pants---the only ones that fit---I've hypot'd out of the others---but I'm trying to get back where I belong. Good luck with your doc---and your levels. I hope he helps you get back on track.
PS---My 82 yr. old mother keeps telling me how hard it is to get old---I tell her I already know---I feel like I'm 90! Honestly, she is more active than me---and I'm 33 years younger.
No one knows how hard life can be with thyroid disease unless they have experienced it.

 
Old 06-06-2005, 05:08 PM   #6
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wxKathy2 HB User
Re: So Tired...Depressed...Fat....!

thank you all for posting this - just the shower is a major effort for me too - I can't keep up with my Mom either - I feel so guilty - I should be helping her and my Dad more - but I can hardly move!
Thank you for understanding - because on the outside - everyone thinks I look fine...
Kathy

 
Old 06-07-2005, 05:50 AM   #7
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MLWC HB User
Re: So Tired...Depressed...Fat....!

Quote:
Originally Posted by shellshocked
Oh, and I'm wearing the same pair of pants---the only ones that fit---I've hypot'd out of the others---but I'm trying to get back where I belong.
HA! You know what? I JUST went through that AGAIN this morning getting ready for work. 'Cause I found ANOTHER pair of pants that don't fit! I think so much of the frustration for me is not knowing what to expect when I wake up in the morning.

Will it be a 'normal' day? Will I have a headache? (today=yes) Will I be fatigued and sleepwalking through the day? (today=yes and it's only 8:45 am)
And best yet--will I be able to mentally function at my job? (remains to be seen) Oh, yes! Have I mentioned that I'm cranky?!

I am also trying to get back where I belong weight wise..it is so hard...harder than it was before. And truthfully, some days I just don't care (though I know that's the Hashi's talking on the down days).

Man, someone stop this ride...I wanna get off!

 
Old 06-07-2005, 04:17 PM   #8
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shellshocked HB User
Re: So Tired...Depressed...Fat....!

MLWC---
I hear you! In the last three weeks I have lost 15 pounds. Despite losing the weight (doctor has me on an appetite suppressant), my "only pants I can wear" are stil tight in the waist! Uggghhhh.
When I'm on the right dose of armour for me----my little buddha tummy disappears.
I don't know how you are able to work and function. We should have our own Thyroid Olympics. You would definitely be a Gold Medal Champion!

 
Old 06-07-2005, 11:36 PM   #9
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kimilyh HB User
Re: So Tired...Depressed...Fat....!

THANKS to you all for responding! I wear the same one pair of pants daily too...and of course wash them every few days...but HATE TO WASH them because I know the dryer will shrink them again and they will be tighter than usual. What is ARMOUR? I get the feeling that there is alot about my hyper- and now hypo - thyroidism that my doctor hasn't even talked to me about. I read on this board that you shouldn't take antidepressants with synthroid because it reduces the absorbption...so i asked my doctor (because I take Zoloft) and he just laughed and said, "That just means that you shouldn't take them within one hour of each other. Don't worry so much." I learn something new each time I read these postings. I'm grateful for your experience. Thanks very much. Also....this might seem like a silly comment/question, but I feel like my face doesn't look the same since this thyroidectomy (7 wks ago tomorrow). Nothing drastic...just a subtle difference...like my eyes are puffy and the skin around my eyes more crepey and dry. Is this another "symptom" of hypothyroid? (I'm 43 so I know I have to expect more wrinkles as I age, but it came on suddenly and every single day when i see myself in a mirror, i am always thinking, "why do i look different?" it must be the look of a zombie....cuz i guess that's how i feel.)

 
Old 06-08-2005, 06:08 AM   #10
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MLWC HB User
Re: So Tired...Depressed...Fat....!

shellshocked--
you are so funny!
How on earth did you lose 15 pounds so quickly? When do MY 15 pounds come off?! I know it's been almost a month already...I thought I would have seen at least something....maybe it's just water and I haven't noticed it. I also have PMS this week, which could contribute (it's my first month off the Pill...yikes). I do eat right and exercise regularly, though on the toughest fatigue days, I can't drag myself anywhere (like last night--stayed at home and ate dinner and ice cream 'cause it's so HOT here in NJ). I guess i have to keep at it, but it's so demoralizing sometimes....pooh!

kimily--
I know EXACTLY what you mean about the 'face' thing. In the first week of May, I went to my sister's graduation ceremony (she got her Master's). I just got the photos back this past weekend and was SHOCKED at how, well, PUFFY my face (and my a$$) looked. I looked TIRED and swollen...WOW. I never looked like that. Now that I'm on the levoxyl, I have seen a slight change...eye bags not so big etc...but only on the 'UP' days. On the 'trough'/'down' days, I wake up like a mushroom.

I have an aunt (my dad's twin sister) who had thyroidectomy in her 20's. I'm not sure how well she is regulated on the synthroid, buther face is always puffy and eyes baggy...I don't want to stay like that permanently, so I hope the dosage issue gets out of the way quickly. Once you get a little more under control, I think you'll see a difference. Like I said above, my weight hasn't changed much, but I have a feeling that will be the LAST to change. The other, more subtle things, are what I'm noticing first---face, BMs, digestion, feeling awake...

I believe Armour is a combination of T4 and T3 from pig thyroid...double check elsewhere on this board. Some people have good luck with it. I think for me it's too early to tell if I even NEED the T3. I will ask my doctor what he thinks of supplementing with T3. I also need to ask him about brand name versus generic synthroid/levothyroxine...but I digress....

MLWC

 
Old 06-08-2005, 07:32 AM   #11
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Angry Re: So Tired...Depressed...Fat....!

Hey Kimilyh, we should get together and sit around and do nothing. I'm in the exact same boat you're in. Although I'm sorry to read that you feel so bad I must admit it's great to know I'm not the only one. I got a big lump on the front of my neck back in Janaury. I was diagnosed as "hyper". I had the radioactive iodine treatment In Feb 05. I couldn't start the Synthroid until I "hit" the brick wall which is also know as hypo. Well, I hit that wall about 6 weeks ago. I stated with .50mg for 1 week then .75 for one wee, then .88 which I was suppose to take for 4 weeks until my next blood work. I have felt so bad since starting the Synthroid I actually went back to my original doctor (not the thyroid specialist) and she told me to go back down to the .75. well I still feel like death warmed over. my husband thinks if i "just get out" and maybe "go to the gym" you know, get some "exercise" i'll feel better and lose weight too. guess what, it didn't work the one day i tried it and i just can not get the strength to go again. hell, it's all i can do to just take a shower.

 
Old 06-08-2005, 10:20 PM   #12
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Ltraci2 HB User
Re: So Tired...Depressed...Fat....!

Wow, I think you are all describing ME! Well, except for the weight loss. It is SO frustrating! Especially when so many docs just pat you on the head and say 'oh, your labs are normal, not the thyroid' or 'you are just getting older' or 'your weight is a lifestyle issue' or 'let me put you on antidepressants'.

Feeling like a slug all day long is right up there with how I feel about packing an extra 120# around. Depressing. Hubby works all day and comes home to a wife who doesn't do hardly anything around the house. While he isn't crabby about things with me, I do get him practically throwing a party when I get outside and do something. Feel like a kid who is being potty trained and used the potty! LOL

One of my biggest worries tho is regarding the optimal dose of meds. What if then I still feel like this, depressed, irritable, sleep problems, no sex drive and continue to gain weight?????? What if fixing the thyroid to where I'm told it 'should' be doesn't help all that much.

I'm on my 3rd set of meds - started on 25mcg's of Levoxyl, then 50 and now 100 for the past 3 weeks. Still feel like crap most of the time although I do have a few good days now and then. But most of the time I'm dragging and cranky about house chores and running for a 15, 12 and 5-1/2 year old. I'm almost 39(July) - I don't want to keep feeling this way!!!!!

I'm so glad that I can vent here too - I read all of the posts and start to believe for just a bit that it isn't just me and I'm not as crazy as I think.

So, join me for a coffee or drink some afternoon (in spirit) and we will lean on each other's shoulders and sob!

 
Old 06-08-2005, 11:03 PM   #13
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Waimea HB User
Re: So Tired...Depressed...Fat....!

Holy Cow ~ is this what I have to look forward to? I already had a partial thyroidectomy and go day after tomorrow for the other side to be removed and so far I've been really lucky and don't have many symptoms and am not on medication...yet. This board has been great ~ very informative, but as time passes and Friday morning comes, I find I'm getting nervous about the "hypo" symptoms I've been told I should expect to experience. I'm saying lots of prayers and hope someone is listening. Wish me luck and I'll keep you posted.

Good luck to you all and I hope that you will find a healthy balance soon!!

 
Old 06-09-2005, 08:01 PM   #14
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kimilyh HB User
Re: So Tired...Depressed...Fat....!

Waimea,
Best of luck to you with the surgery tomorrow. I hate to depress you by posting all the bad symptoms of hypo....maybe things will go alot smoother for you! I hope so. Let us know how you are doing after the surgery.

as for everyone else who posted...thanks! there is strength in numbers and in educating ourselves and supporting each other. Again...thanks for everything that has been said.

 
Old 06-09-2005, 09:11 PM   #15
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diddy HB User
Re: So Tired...Depressed...Fat....!

I wonder what it is some of you are eating, when you're eating, how much you're eating.

If your labs are in normal ranges, and you're exercising, you really should not be gaining gobs of weight. Are you drinking soda, eating fries or cookies or alot of bread, pasta or candy? If you're eating brownies, cake and french fries, I have no sympathy. If you're following a good diet, then maybe there are other factors contributing? Depression meds? Hormone chemical inbalance?

Depending on your height/weight, if you take in between 1400 (under 150 lbs) -1700 (160-190 lbs) calories a day, eating spread out small meals, fruit, vegetables, water, not much sugar, not eating late. If you're eating like this, exercising daily, and you have normal labs, you should NOT be gaining weight. I have gone hypo in the 3 weeks since my surgery, am only on .75 synthroid, but i follow the diet I gave above, and I exercise daily, and I have not gained 1 pound, despite being Hypo, and not even regulated.

 
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