I thought I would try a new thread here to make it shorter.
First and foremost I want to thank you for all your wonderful words of wisdom you gave me last night. You were so helpful and so kind to take the time to reassure me. I feel good about things today and this time tomorrow things might be behind me and that is such a good feeling today. I have wanted this thing out of me for so long I am looking at tomorrow as a good day. I just had a bad attack of nerves yesterday.
Today I am going to do some last minute cleaning and make sure everything is in order. I am that neat freak that will rest easier if the house is spotless. Oh, get this, to top things off, I noticed we have ants around the kitchen sick!!! Now why today of all days do I have to deal with this???? Talk about maddening! OH well, isn't that the way life works?
I have phone call lists to make and pack my things. We are all just going to relax today and take it easy. I wish I had some way to let you know I am ok tomorrow, but know that as soon as I can post I will be here and let you know how I am.
You have been the best friend to me over these last months and I couldn't thank you enough for all your support and your good friendship. We have been able to discuss so many health issues and figure out so many issues in common that have put this disease in a new perspective for me.
I will let you know everything the surgeon tells me ( I wish you were here to talk to him after surgery because you would know what to ask and hubby is no good at that sort of thing!) I feel like we are learning together and that the info each of us gets helps the other one.
Thank you again and I am looking forward to posting to you and saying it is over!!!
So glad you are feeling better today!! I hoped that you would!!
(we had ants - with the wasps - and the only thing that worked were these ortho ant traps (little circular cans) from home depot - I tried the raid ones and others, but the ortho ones did the trick...)
I will be thinkig of you today and will write again tonight!!!
And tomorrow you will be in my prayers all day and I will wait with great Faith and hope to hear that you are fine and getting much better!!!
Yeah - we treat the yard and have a monthy perimeter treatment with a pest company and still had the ants! and the wasps! But both seem to be gone now - I think the painter got all the wasp entries sealed up!
I am sure thinking of you and will be waiting to hear how you are doing - but don't get up too soon - please just take your time - rest all you need to - I will have faith that you will be fine and much better soon!!!
I'm going to lay down for alittle bit now - I'm crashing from the student's defense! She passed and did a very good job - my boss came (we didn't expect him) and he had nice things to say about that - so I hope that will help my job a little - I was more nervous than she was!! (it's my anxiety disorder), but she did well and now almost everything is done - she has one week to make some final edits to her dissertation and then we will be done working together - but we can still collaborate in the future - but I am a little sad, much relieved and happy for her success. I think in my weakened state it was all a little too much for me - so it's probably all for the best right now....
Please know tomorrow I will be keeping you in my prayers all day!! I think you said it's scheduled for very early in the morning.....I will be with you in spirit and wish you all the best!!! You have been a very dear friend to me too!! I don't know if you realize how much you helped me through that period when my hubby was out of town - I was in bad shape and you really helped me!! Thank you so much for your friendship!!
Will check back on the board later this evening!! Get a good night's rest if you can!
Well, I am ready. Everything is clean and I am packed. Right now I just have to get through til tomorrow. I am feeling good now because I just want this thing out of me so bad. It has been very hard to worry for an entire year about cancer. I will just be so glad to know it is out of me.
Thank you so much for all your support and I know you will be thinking of me tomorrow.
I will let you know as soon as I can how I am doing and that I am home.
I am so glad that you made it through this afternoon with your student! Wow, you must be emotionally wiped out.
Thanks again and I will let you know as soon as I can!
Glad to hear you are ready! I am so hopeful and excited for you and hopeful for the new quality of life that I pray awaits you after tomorrow!!! Yes, I think the worry takes a toll and it's not a good way to live is it?!
Your courage and example are an inspiration to me!! And I am going to get more agressive about my own situation - thanks to your example! You never know how you may touch people's lives!!
I will be right here and will be with you in spirit tomorrow and thinking of you all day!! I'll look forward to hearing from you when you are well enough - and in the meantime I'll keep you in my prayers!!
Try to let it all go while you're recovering - I've been telling myself lately - "it'll be there later!!" Get lots of rest and be good to yourself!!
I'll look forward to your post when you are feeling well enough!!
I know it's late, but I wanted to say good luck and lots of prayers. Boy, do I know about ants. They trigger my anxiety on a regular basis. I have small ones that are everywhere including in my bread bag. You can imagine what that does to the mind. I have big ants that carry off the dead little ants when I get them. I have eirwigs(spelling might be off, also referred to as pinchers) on my clothes counters floors and the day I shot one into my mouth trying to use my inhaler. That one sent me over the edge. I just cried real hard. We are having a modular built and can't wait to get out of here. Good thing we don't need to get pet licenses for the mice in our house. What do they say if you don't laugh you'll go crazy? This was a nice post to take your mind off things, but funny in a way.
I know you won't be reading this for awhile! But I sure am thinking of you!! Said a special prayer early this morning for you! Hope everything went smoothly and that you're not in too much pain!!! Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers and looking forward to hearing from you whenever you are ready!!!
I am back, very, very tired, but am home. The surgery was so so, I found it pretty painful, but the surgeon said it was the hardest thyroid he had ever done. He said it was covered in water filled cycts and was so sticky from the hashi's that it was attatched to everything. He said it was so good I had taken it out.
No final word til next week but he said he wasn't anticipating anything. He said I was totally clean in there and he was able to leave all 4 parathyroid's.
The worst part was the severe migraine I got from the morphine pump. I didn't want it to begin with but woke up with it in place. UGH. I finally had to insist they take me off that stuff.
I am beat but wanted to let you know I am home, safe and ready for nap in my own bed. I have this great ice collar that helps. Only internal stitches and tape. It looks great. Not at all like I feared.
I will post back again, I just wanted to touch base with ya!
I am SO HAPPY to hear from you!!! Thanks so much for writing!! I've been thinking of you the whole time and keeping you in my prayers!! I am so happy for you that it's all over and I have every Faith that you will return to wellness!!! Thanks so much for writing - I'm so happy to know you're okay - sorry about the pain - and the headache - but I'm glad you're home earlier than that nurse was telling you.....
So glad about the parathyroids!!! Yeah!! Sounds like you had a very good surgeon!!
I will keep you in my prayers until we get the final word (and after of course) - but it's good that he wasn't anticipating anything!!
So happy you're okay!!!
And remember any messes in the house will be there (or someone else might get them!) when you're better so you don't have to get up and clean them okay??
Thanks so much for writing!! I missed you!! Get lots of rest!! Don't feel like you have to write - just rest and recover!! I'll be thinking of you!
I wanted to say hi again before I go to sleep. Wow, I slept all day. You get NO rest in that hospital! They come in all night to stick you with needles and to take vitals!
I am so glad to have that thing gone. I can already tell a huge difference in the size of my neck when I swallow and that is with surgery pain and swelling. I can tell that huge ball of water and mess is gone. He told me it was stuck to everything on the left side, even all the muscles and my vocal chord. He had told my husband he was a little worried about my left vocal chord because the thyroid was all tangled in it, but it is fine and I have no hoarsness anymore or any of that feeling!
Yuck, that thing sounded so nasty when he talked about it, I mean he said several times it was the ugliest one he had done. I am so glad I did this.
Thank you so much for keeping me in your prayers, I know they helped.
I think I would have been 100% better if they had not put me on that nasty morphine. At 2am that night after surgery I told them to please just give me ice packs and Lortab and it made the biggest difference. Then, the nurse says "oh yeah, morphine does cause mirgraines in alot of people" UGH
I even managed to throw a load of laundry in today. I mean I get very tired, very easy, but I am not incapacitated, woohoo.
I am looking forward to uninterrupted sleep tonight! Tomorrow my husband has to go to a seminar for 12 hours and he is taking my son. I think it will be so nice to have all that time to myself and just sleep and relax. He is so worried about leaving me and I am so looking forward to it!
I am able to take a shower as normal since I only have internal stitches and tape/glue. That is nice. I took a hot shower first thing both mornings and that makes you feel so much better. It is also nice to be home because everyone comes out of the woodwork to visit and really, I just need not to be talking. It seems like when I talk my neck gets swollen and that makes me have a headache.
All in all I am so glad this mess is behind me! I am so happy I did this and can tell when all the healing has taken place I am going to feel so much room in my neck area! No more pressure.
How are you doing? Have you had a good week? What is going on with your student, I am anxious to know if you have heard from her.
Oh, on Tuesday, we had to be there at 6:55, remember? well, we get there and they sign me in and then they come and tell me the surgeon is running 2-3 beind schedule! I was so freaked because just all the added anticipation about set me over the edge, ya know?
I am going to take my Lortab, get my ice collar and enjoy my king size bed to myself. Hubby has been banished to the living room.. He and my son are going to camp out there for a few nights. I don't think I can handle anyone shaking the bed and after being in that awful hospital bed you just want to spread out with good blankets and good pillows!
Do take it easy though! And you're in trouble with me for putting laundry in! Ha!
I'm glad you got the lortab straightened out - have to write it down somewhere in your records about the morphine and migraine just in case you ever have to another surgery for any reason.
I am so happy to hear that you already feel so much better in your throat!! That's wonderful news and I was hesitant to ask about your voice - but that's great news too!! I am so happy it turned out so well given the complicated nature of it!!!
I can't imagine having to wait another 3 hours before the surgery - I'd lose my mind!! But you must be so glad it's all over!!! That's nice of your hubby to give you the bed - no - you don't get any rest in the hospital - people are kind to visit, but it's very tiring and the constant checking of the blood pressure etc - there's no way to rest there!
I'm glad you'll have a quiet day tomorrow - hope you have some good rejuvenating rest!!
On Monday (1st) my student passed her defense and tomorrow (Fri) she will deposit her completed thesis in the Univ. library! So I am very proud of her.....I am relieved to not have to work at that pace - but I will miss her too - but as I said - she won't be far away....
I saw my endo Tues (the old one) and he did an US and my thyroid was smaller than in May! I was surprised - but pleased - he suggested that it was possible that I might have hashis but that it had been attacking the thyroid for so long even before I started seeing him two years ago - that when it's getting to the end - like when the thyroid is almost dead, there are almost no antibodies left - so that's one possibility I hadn't thought of - that gave me some hope - I asked if once it died there would be no more nodules and I would come to the end of my illness and he said yes - but he did not say for certain of course that this was the case - but it sure would be great if it was - It's quite possible I was hyperthyroid for many years prior to my 60 lbs weight gain when I went hypo....I could eat everything and gain no weight and was pretty wired up - but that could be my anxiety too....so who knows - but right now I am just hoping that it continues to shrink and will maybe just go away???
If it does come back - and more nodules get big again - I know what to do about it - Thanks to you!!
I'm so happy to hear your good report!! Get some good rest!! and do try to take it easy!!
I'll be thinking of you!
Well, the morning is the worst because your neck is so stiff when you wake up and you are just sure they have sewn your head on too tight I also didn't have a nurse bringing me in fresh ice packs all night.
My husband had a fit that I did laundry also. You are not supposed to keep bending over, but I just had to throw my hospital laundry in. Actually, it felt good to do somethng normal. I have felt sick for so long and have been worried about this for so long it just feels good inside, I can't explain it, but I am sure you know what I am talking about.
I am sorry, I forgot about your endo appt! That is true, they can atrophy and die with hashi's, however, I thought that once they died, they really do need to come out because your body is trying to fight off that tissue all the time? I think so many opinions go one way or the other on that one. The surgeon told my husband that the most important thing is how you feel because if your body is in a constant state of rejectiing that tissue and it is diseased, it can throw your whole body into state of being sick. I just know that is where I was.
I sure hope I can get my synthroid levels perfect quick so I don't have weight gain and all that, but right now I am just trying to focus on getting well and being happy that this thing is behind me.
Did the endo have any insight on your thymus mass? Did they look at that on the US? It seems like they could look at all of that, I hope they did. How did you feel about the dr? Is he someone you would go back too, like a new one you could stick with to help you through this?
I am going to take my meds and a nap. I have hubby's laptop for the week, ( I had to do some begging on that one) but at least it allows me to get online and stay in bed all in one.
I will check back today................
Love and thanks,
Oh, I forgot to add, that was an excellent idea, from now on when they ask if I am allergic to anything I will say morphine! I do want that in my file.
Also, the swallowing is the worst, I hadn't thought about how painful that would be, however I do understand why you can't drive because there is no way to turn your head! hahaha
I bet it is getting pretty sore now a few days after - sorry about that - did you have any nausea? I hope not.....
Glad you have the laptop - that is how I've been able to work all these past months - in a chaise chair with the laptop - otherwise I don't think I could get anything done - isn't that terrible not to have the energy to sit up at a desk for a day's work!
This endo seemed to think the thyroid would just atrophy and it would all end - maybe that's because all my anti-bodies are negative that the attack would end??- But who knows - I'll try to learn more about this - thanks for telling me the opinions of your docs...
He did not look at the thymus - I have a CT for that on Aug 10 next week (Yeah more iodine that I hope will shrink it some more! - then I see the oncologist the following week (I think the 16th) to follow up on a comparison of the CT scans to see if there were any changes in the thymus. I don't expect anything - but I will feel relieved when that's all over too.
I am on a waiting list to see a new endo, but in the mean time I saw my old one Tues....I have no idea how long it could take to get into the new one - months maybe....but I did like the ENT that's getting me in to her, so I would go back to him to get the thyroid out if I need to....
Yes- when I had my surgery to remove my ovary and all the other stuff (appendectomy, uterine resuspension - why didn't they warn me then about adhesions!!) they couldn't find a pain medicine that worked and it was awful for two days - until they found that the weakest one, darvocette, worked best for me.....That was terrible - some of the nurses didn't even think my pain was real - that it was psychological or something - it was a hard time - but my ovary had cystoadenoma and had become the size of a football so it had to come out - needless to say I felt like I had a whole new life after I recovered. I hope you feel that way too.
When I first started seeing my endo he wanted to know what kind of tumor I had on the ovary - I don't guess it was autoimmune, but maybe that's what he was looking for...I have a hard time communicating with him (he's from India originally, with his medical training from England and I think English is a little bit of a barrier for us) - But I haven't had the clarity of mind to even think this was a problem - he has helped me a lot overall and is a kind man...but I am still going to try the new one for a second opinion....
I don't want to keep you from resting so I stop here (still not short but oh well!)
Yeah - I understand the compulsion to clean things - I used to have it - still have it but don't act on it so much anymore - but it still bugs me, so I understand - so try hard to rest and just let things be around the house - I do understand about wanting to feel normal too - but you'll get normal fastest by resting the most now!!
Have a good restful day!! It's so nice to talk with you again!! I really missed you and was so happy to hear you are all through it now and with such good results with your parathyroids and your vocal chords!!
Don't worry about your post being too long, I have nothing else going on!
I started my meds the day after surgery. The surgeon put me back on the same dose I was on too see how I felt in a week. He does not think that my thyroid was functioning at all since it had so much water on it. He said let's just try the same dose and if I feel yucky next week he would up it. He was such a wonderul dr, I wish I could see him long term. He was so knowledgeable it seemed.
I am also taking 2 tums twice a day for calcium just in case. He said one tenth of a point low was probably just a shock drop so to speak but to take the calcium til he sees me next week.
I did get up for about 20 minutes this morning after I posted, I just looked around my house ( noticed that my son's room has gone to pot!) and enjoyed just being up. I then came back to bed and slept for 3 hours. It is very easy to sleep! The Lortab makes me quite sleepy too. Hubby and son came home just a minute to check on me and you know what, I decided that it was better that I am home alone today. I need the quiet and the peace. I am going to move out to the couch after I get some food into me and watch some movies on the dvr that I saved from last week, some lifetime movies . It will be good for a change of scenery. I'll tell ya one thing, the inability to change positions is kind of annoying. I mean you can only lay on your back with about 5 pillows propping you up and a neck roll behind your head so you can kind of lay your head back a bit. No pressure on the surgery area, too sensitive.
I had a great MAC laptop, I loved it, I don't know what happened to it but the monitor on it went out. Those dumb thins are so expensive to get fixed we couldn't do it.
I have missed that more than anything. Hubby was very apprehensive about leaving me with his but I begged him because he knew I couldn't sit at my desk today and he knew I had to get to my computer for something to do. I told him yesterday that I had to post to you when we got home.
I thought about you in the hospital because everyone was surprised my spirits were so hi, I kept thinking that everyone here and especially you since we have talked in depth about this illness would only understand the relief I had knowing that thing was out of me.
Looks like rain all weekend, that is nice because I won;t have to feel sad that we can't go to the lake, ya know?
Isn't that something that the darvocet worked so well for you? I also think it is horrible that those nurses thought your pain wasn't real. When I first was being prepped in the morning they gave me a sheet stating that I woulld be experiencing some intense pain and that I agreed to have it treated so I felt better knowing that they knew I was going to be in pain. It did kind of scare you pre-surgery though. Especially with the additional wait time I had. My minister came and waited with us, he is a riot when he is outside of church and he really lightenend the time. We cut up. It was funny how the nurses thought I was crazy that I just wanted Lortab, but heck I have taken that so many times and I knew it works and I knew it doesn't make me sick. That morphine migraine is something you can't describe. It was deadly. Even just the ice collar made such a huge difference then sitting there hitting a pump every 15 minutes. Then they come in and remind you you are not hitting your pump and you try and tell them that the pump is making you worse and they don't believe you. Oh well, it worked out.
I tried to pump the surgeon about what he thought pathology would find and he blew it off. He said with water invasion it is no big deal. I said what if this and what if that, and he said he hates what if's. He also said that it was such an extensive surgery that there wouldn't be need for anything else anyway. He said he did such a thourough cleaning in there and I guess all my nodes were perfect too. I am trying not to even worry about that anymore and just focus on being strong. He didn't do a table biopsy because he said that requires a little more time under and I was under very deep and for a good period of time and he didn't see the need for a prelim since I had one and he sends them off anyway. I said that was fine.
I am going to have some soup or pudding and try a shower. It is funny how sleeping all day makes you feel so dirty! I guess having long hair too makes you feel so crummy until it is all washed and brushed out.
I slept in a shirt that had too high of a neck last night, I bought some wonderful low cut ones for the hospital but they were all in the wash last night so I put this old shirt of my husband's on, but it rubbed on my stitches all night.