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Old 07-12-2007, 04:55 AM   #1
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vickie45 HB Uservickie45 HB User
Unhappy why is it that some dont understand about this illness ?

hi all im so depressed again my husband i been with 13 yrs just dont understand whats happening to me i have energy here and there and then somedays i dont i suffered a yr befiore i even found out i had it .for one at times i have no motivation since starting my meds somedays i do great no crying nor depression but hubby who is a alcaholic tells me if id just get up and make myself do stufff id get over this i try believe i do but im on 25mcgs of levoxyl this is week 2 i was on levothyrolds started in jan07 on 25mcgs then went to 50 then 75mcgs but the 75mcgs were cauing me alot of trouble and my dr wouldnt switch brands nor lower them so i went to a endo and shes taking me slow i get labs done aug 1st and see her aug 9th i have severe depression and i cry alot but not everyday somedays i do great in jan 06 i had my left ovary removed due to a 9cm tumor and havent had a period since dec 06 could this be my thyrold causing the depression or the ovary removal? like i said some days i feel great i clean take a bath everything i dont have menopause symtons alls im having is the depression and crying could this be my dose is too low right now or could it be menopause i have no hotness or nightsweats iam stress but living with a alcaholic isnt easy he has put me in jail for me defending myself why do i stay well for one we have kids and another when he dont drink as much hes a good person but i just cant take much more he tells me i dwell on my thyrold as a excuse but i dont im 45 and i never had any of these prob till i got thyrold illness would taking zoloft 50 mg help me here i am scared of anti d's because i took effexor xr 75mg about a yr and it was hell coming off them my cousin takes zoloft and said her dr said she will need them for life because of the depression ,has any of you ever had the depression when you were on the low dose i dont want to start taking zoloft unless i have too i also take xanax but im in the process of coming off them, yes i need them but if they are causeing me trouble im not going to take them does this sound like my thyrolds or maybe menopause???i just want my life back and also have any of you with severe panic ever fell down from it? i do quite often and it hurts my feelings cause i cant help it and my husband says im so sick of all this and i said to him well how do you think i feel its not fun fr me either.any advice would really be so helpfull as i dont know what to do i read that you can get depression with hypo and i did for that whole yr before i knew i slept 24/7 cried was deep;y deep;y depressed so i dont know what to do and i allways thought when 2 people got married they married for better or for worse well he wants his old wife back and so do i but it takes time and he dont understand this i feel maybe i should leave but i have noplace to go nor do i want to hurt my kids plus i cant work yet but im going to show him i will go to work he says ya right when ever i say that.i ask myself over and over why dio i stay and right now i dont know why .......................vickie

Last edited by vickie45; 07-12-2007 at 05:01 AM.

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Old 07-12-2007, 05:10 AM   #2
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lemondrop26 HB User
Re: why is it that some dont understand about this illness ?

Hi Vickie ....

Hugs to you. There is nothing worse than being sick and having loved ones not be empathetic. I know that men are "problem solvers". Maybe he is getting frustrated at a sometimes very frustrating disease.

It might help if you talk to him when he isn't stressed and your not too emotional. Maybe part of the reason he is frustrated is because you have been feeling bad for such a long time and he doesn't know how to help. Maybe you could explain to him that things are changing. Slowly but now that you have found out what is causing your issues you are getting help. Tell him you are fighting to get better and you want him to stand behind you and be proud of that.

It is a balance - you don't want to discount his frustration. Because it is understandable - but you can't let his frustration turn into meanness that hurts you.

I bet there is literature out there on living with someone who is ill. If he isn't much on reading then ask him to come to the doctors with you. If you can't get him to do that - then tell him, "If you aren't going to take the time to understand thyroid disease then I am not going to take any more time explaining myself"! And then go lay down and take a nap.

Last edited by lemondrop26; 07-12-2007 at 05:12 AM.

Old 07-12-2007, 09:13 AM   #3
Join Date: May 2006
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SPF5 HB User
Re: why is it that some dont understand about this illness ?


No wonder you're so upset and having such a hard time. You're dealing with three really big, really difficult issues!

1. You're thyroid condition and possibly the after effects of the ovary removal, both of which can cause all kinds problems while your body adjusts and you get to the proper treatment level for your thyroid. Have you talked to your doctor about not having a period since the surgery?

2. Living with an emotionally abusive alcoholic who is adding to your stress level, anxiety and depression in huge amounts above and beyond what you're already dealing with due to the thyroid condition, an addition which is going to make getting feeling better more of a challenge.

3. Thinking that leaving a drunk will hurt your kids more than staying, and/or that you have no where to go, therefore, no options; both of which add to the panic and depression because deep down you feel stuck.

What do you mean when you say your husband put you in jail for defending yourself? How did you defend yourself, and what were you defending against? Did he raise his hand to you? If your husband hits you, you need to get yourself and your children out.

As someone who grew up with an alcoholic father who didn't drink that much in front of us, and was generally a "good guy", and as someone who was married to an alcoholic who was emotionally (and later physically) abusive and would go through phases where he "didn't drink as much" and was considered a generally "good guy", I can guarantee you he will not change or treat you any better until he decides to get sober, which he may never do.

Please don't made excuses for hubby. Please don't make excuses for hubby's behavior towards you. Truly good guys accept they have a problem and get themselves well for themselves and for their families, and they do not treat their wives the way your husband treats you.

Please think about what you are teaching your children and what it is doing to them long term by continuing to stay in this relationship as-is. Sometimes staying in a bad relationship does more long-term harm than leaving. Kids learn what they live. They see mommy going to the doctor and getting medicine, and doing what she is supposed to do to make herself better so she can be happier and healthy, and that's good. What do they see daddy doing? Sure, marriage is supposed to be for better or worse, but that doesn't mean you have to stay in a toxic situation when the other party isn't doing his share to get help and get healthy. Addiction and abuse are two deal breakers.

I'm not saying you need to leave hubby unless he's hitting you. That's not my place to say or my decision. All I'm saying is you need think about what would really and truly be best for you and the kids. If it is to leave, then there are places to go and there is help out there. Keep that in mind while you get your thyroid level to where it needs to be so you can get a job and get some money of your own. If it is to stay, then you need to get yourself some support in dealing with an alcoholic spouse for your own sanity, and so you can help your kids deal with the issues of having an alcoholic father.

I applaud you for getting in with an endo and getting on treatment - I know it is hard, especially when the depression is so deep and you're getting no support at home. Stick with it, get yourself well, do what you have to to get yourself feeling stronger, and take good care of yourself because being healthy is the best gift you can give yourself and your kids.

Maybe the next time you see your endo you could ask for a full hormone panel to be done just to see if there are any other imbalances going on that could be adding to your symptoms. Also talk to her about your concerns with the antidepressants.

I've never read or heard of anyone having falling down panic attacks due to thyroid, but that doesn't mean it isn't possible. I am wondering though if you think it is possible that maybe the onset of your thyroid condition brought some other problems with your marriage to the surface, so maybe the increased depression and falling down panic attacks could be a symptom of being unhappy? You said yourself that living with an alcoholic isn't easy, and that is very true. It is also true that we tend to gloss over and deny how hard and unhappy it really is until something shines a light on it and we can no longer deny it - and something like that can cause a great deal of panic and fear because it shakes us up and makes us look at things we didn't want to admit to ourselves.

If you haven't read it already, maybe see if your local library or book store has a copy of The Thyroid Solution by Ridha Arem, M.D. Chapter 9 is titled "You've Changed" and has some excellent examples of things we experience and why, and how the affect our personalities and relationships. I went through that chapter with a highlighter and it made me feel less alone, because there, in print, were many of the things I was feeling and why. Finally it made sense, and that made me feel more determined to get well.

You may be able to get hubby to read that chapter and understand, which would be great and ideal, but don't get your hopes up for him changing his tune - even if he doesn't drink every day, drunks tend to remain irrational if they aren't completely sober and committed to saying well. It is called dry drunk syndrome. So he may not be open to what any book says, but still consider reading it for yourself so you can stop beating yourself up so much about feeling sick and tired.

Whether you stay in your marriage or not, if you aren't already doing it, please look into one of the free support groups out there like Al-Anon for spouses of alcoholics. There is Al-Anon, Alateen for kids, ACOA (Adult Children of Alcoholics) and many hospitals run their own support and information groups, because you need to talk to others who live with an alcoholic and understand the dynamics of being co-dependant and enabling, and will help you learn to stop accepting and excusing the unacceptable and inexcusable. Just like coming here for support, advice, and understanding from others about the roller coaster of having a thyroid problem we all share helps, you need the same kind of information, advice and support from others who are living/have lived in alcoholic households.

I'm sorry if I come across sounding harsh about hubby or less than compassionate. I'm not trying to be mean. I do understand how difficult it can be dealing with a thyroid condition in itself, as well as how difficult it can be dealing with a drunk. I've been there and I know how scary it can be to feel trapped, and how scary the idea of change can be, and how all of the fear and frustration, the depression, the panic and anxiety are made so much worse when you don't feel well and have someone giving you a hard time on top of it all. What saved me was someone who was willing to be unpopular by being kind of harsh and telling me what I didn't want to hear, someone who was willing to kick me in the rear and wouldn't let me continue volunteering to be a victim. All the polite words and gentle hugs and pats on the head with sympathy (no offense intended to those offering hugs and gentle support, in almost any other situation I'd be doing the same) about how difficult your home life is aren't going to give you the determination you need to get yourself feeling completely well and strong, and they aren't going to change that you're dealing with an alcoholic, which puts a whole different dynamic on the usual experiences and problems that come from having a non-alcoholic husband who isn't supportive or understanding.

Hang in there. Keep working with your endo to get your thyroid levels where they need to be, talk to her about what else is going on and all your symptoms, and please please find a support group or consider some counseling for the other stuff; and when you are feeling a little better, then you'll be able to get a job, and once you do that you're going to feel stronger, less trapped, and more empowered to figure out what you want to do and what is best for you and the kids.

And until you get to that point where you can decide and feel better, well, the next time hubby complains that he wants his old wife back, look him in the eye and very calmly say "and I'd like a sober and supportive husband." It won't solve things, but maybe it will get him to stop his whining for a little bit.

Take care,

Last edited by SPF5; 07-12-2007 at 10:29 AM. Reason: Typos, typos and more typos

Old 07-12-2007, 01:47 PM   #4
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Clarissa234 HB User
Re: why is it that some dont understand about this illness ?


I have read a lot of your posts on this board and have thought to myself, "Wow! She's got some real problems." No offense intended, it was just my observation. But now, after reading this last post of yours I finally see why.

The first thing I noticed is how similar some of your complaints are to my own sister. She's been with her alcoholic husband for 12 years, married to him for 5. She has 2 step children, no biological children. She has been taking care of her husband, his ailing elderly father, his mother (until she passed last year) and his children. She has been loved by her husband, she has had some really fun times with him, and she has been devastated and unsupported by him.

Over the time she's been with her alcoholic husband, I've seen my sister change from an adventurous, happy, healthy, communicative person, to a whining, arguing, unhappy, depressed, stressed and deceiving person. She covers for her husband all the time. She lets him talk or get her into situations that put her in trouble (arrested for passing a bad check comes to mind...he told her that he would put the money in the bank, then he drank it all up and she got to spend the day in jail and now has monthly probation payments and visits because of it).

My sister's husband is oppressive, emotionally abusive, controlling. He treats my sister like she is stupid. It's gotten so bad over the years that I see less and less of my sister because I can't stand to be around her drunkard husband. I can't stand to see her put herself last and walk on eggshells to make sure that hubby is happy first. And, like SPF wrote about her situation, my sister's husband was generally a good guy - when he wouldn't drink as much. So typical!

It got so bad my sister has started having panic attacks. She's on Xanax as needed. Her medical doctor gave her antidepressants, I don't know what kind. She's such a bright, happy, beautiful, fun and worthy person usually. I truly believe she wouldn't have needed either of those medications if she didn't have the alcoholic husband and added stress from him.

Finally, this Spring my sister decided she had taken all she could handle and that her health and happiness were more important to her. She left him, with a little help from her friends, and is in the process of divorcing him.

He's been stalking her all over town, harassing her at work and at her new apartment, threatening her and her pets and he went so far as to hit her once, but there were no witnesses and no bruises to show for it so the cops wouldn't arrest him. All this from the man that supposedly was the love of her life.

And now, just this week, she's just been diagnosed with hypoT. Wow. She's got some real problems.

I agree with SPF. There's more going on than just your hypoT and medicine changes. I think the hypoT is adding to the unstable situation that you're already in. I'm not saying that your situation caused all your medical problems, I'm just saying it is not helping you to get well.

My advice to you is take a good look at what is really going on in your life and where you really want to be in life, in health, in happiness. If there's a will, there's a way to get there and maybe it means getting there on your own, with a little help from friends, family, and organizations in your area. You'd be surprised how much your family, friends and others would step up to help you if you just admitted out loud that your husband is an abusive alcoholic and you don't want to stay with him and don't know how to get yourself out of the situation. I truly expect that people will come around when you start being honest about what's going on.

I hope your children don't live by your example and get themselves into the same kind of relationships later in their lives. Please be a living example of strength and courage for them.

When I think of my own parents, I can specifically remember these things that they taught me but didn't mean to: sneaking around, being a liar, depending on medication from the doctor to keep you numb instead of dealing with your situation.

I'm so sorry that this is happening to you and I'm truly sorry if this post sounds harsh. Sometimes the truth hurts.

Best wishes to you,

Old 07-12-2007, 09:45 PM   #5
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vickie45 HB Uservickie45 HB User
Re: why is it that some dont understand about this illness ?

i will responed to all of you wonderfull ladies tomorrow promise i had another fall today so i fell aslepp but i will reply to all your posts here tomorrow .

Old 07-13-2007, 06:59 AM   #6
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Post Re: why is it that some dont understand about this illness ?

ok first off what i meant by saying i went to jail defending myself was this my ex had me put in jail earlier that same day i got out didnt go to jail the judge let me out on my orc since i was having severe panic plus i had just had surgery 3 mos earlier,ok got home my husband was drinking and why he gets so drunk is he drinks a 12 pack of that ice beer which is strong so i was very upset because my ex had been harrassing me for over 5 yrs then i had my ovary removed no support from hubby only the first 3 weeks he helped after that he asumed i was ok which i wasnt ,ok he pushed me down in the kitchen and said it was my fault i went to jail which wasnt true (all the charges were dropped on the ex cause he couldnt prove nothing which i didnt do anyway ) so hubby started in on me so when he pushed me down i got mad and hit him with a broom so he went and pressed charges on me i told him ahead of time please dont bother me im too upset but with a drunk you cant tell them nothing,he has good days and bad but thats still no excuse for what he done ok he made a PROMISE that when he got me out he'd never drink again he cried the whole time i spent in jail and even told the kids who are both girls ages 11 and 15 that he would never drink again i do understand alcahol is a illness as well and i cant make him stop till hes ready but its getting to the point where i allmost cant stand it he never spends anytime with me at all hes either upstairs alone watching tv drinking or outside alone drinking never with me but yes at times he does help me like when i fell again yesterday for no reason which i have fell since sept 06 but now they are happening more and more but yesterday he was very patient with me till i came back to life i wasnt uncousions but i couldnt move i fall and i just lay there for like 5 mins with my eyes opening and closing and i cant move i feel numb i have no idea what is causing this either my dr said severe panic but when it happens im not having a panic attack i just this really bad headache and severe dizziness and i didnt get out of the car it was when we got home and i fell once i stepped out of the car i do the same thing at the drs thats why now i use a wheelchair at the drs but the stores i never go in cause i fall right down could this be due from sooooooooooo much stress over the past 5 yrs you know going to jail had my surgery and now living with hypo thyriold and a alcaholic among other things ,my husband is stress over bill's but who isnt but that dont give him the right to take it out on me and he yells nonstop and he knows i have bad anxiety /and panic but he does it anyway what really made me mad the night i went to jail was cause he knew i just got home that day and looked at me and said i guess you want to go back to jail dont you and i cant ever forget that a husband nor wife would put there sponce in jail if they truly love them at times i sometimes wonder if he really loves me and yes i stay for the time being because iam sick with this thyriold illness and cant drive nor work right now .but i told him yesterday and of corse he got mad i said either the drinking stops or as soon as im better im leaving and i mean it my kids are upset about it but i told them mommy cant handle it anymore if daddy dont get help he wont admit he has a drinking prob but he does hes been drinking since age 14 or 15 his dad was very abusive to him but my dad was to me too but i dont drink and you normally want better for your children and i dont think its good for my kids to sit around and watch daddy drink plus when he starts fights with me he makes the kids cry oh and when he put me in jail my kids cried so hard it broke there hearts and he sat there every evening and cried he did tell me he was sorry but i just cant forget what he done to me iam in couseling but he needs AA im going to start alanon classes as soon as i find one close by .i told him next time he drinks and gets mean im calling the police and no my husband never hits me its his mouth except for the one time he pushed me down and once he did choke me and i allmost couldnt breath i told him the drinking is breaking up our marriage he wont believe that but its true .i will be back soon so now you know part of whats been happening the other part was just i had a horrible childhood by my own dad but i make my kids better i have a 27 yr old son and 2 daughters 11 and 15 and they are my world oh and 1 more thing we hardly do you know what which is sad but as long as he drinks i dont want nor care for it.................vickie
and i thank all of you for responding and yes the truth hurts but what you all have said is very true a drunk wont get better till hes ready but in the process he may lose his wife and kids.

Last edited by vickie45; 07-13-2007 at 07:08 AM.

Old 07-13-2007, 10:33 AM   #7
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Clarissa234 HB User
Re: why is it that some dont understand about this illness ?


It took a lot of courage for you to say all that. I really hope you get to the Al-anon meeting soon and I hope you can also find an Alateen group for your kids to try. There's no reason for you to be living with such pain and suffering (I'm not talking about your illness).

I really feel that a lot, if not all, of your depression, anxiety, stress, panic attacks, and falling down can be cured by remedying your living situation. There are lots of organizations that can help you get out. Legal aid, to help with divorce/custody issues, local women's shelters to help locate safe housing and work. You're never, ever, going to be able to change your husband's ways, but you can certainly change your ways.

You say you're so bad off right now that you can't work or drive and that you're holding off until you start feeling better. I'm afraid that you need to do something more than just take your thyroid medication to start feeling better. I think you need to get out of the awful stressful complicated situation that you and your kids are in and only then will your health begin to improve.

You only get one chance at this life thing. Why keep wasting the years with someone you don't respect, you don't have intimate feelings for, you don't trust because of their drinking problem and past abuses, someone that is not supportive of you every day, someone you can't rely on to protect you, to be your companion, to be your closest friend?

My heart just aches for what you are going through and what your kids are going through. The best call you could possibly make would be to a women's shelter in your area. They are usually all survivors who have lived through situations similar to your own. They can be very resourceful. I hope you do something about that underlying problem in order to get well. I'm not going to write any more about it. I wish you much strength and stamina and future happiness.


Old 07-13-2007, 03:49 PM   #8
Join Date: May 2006
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SPF5 HB User
Re: why is it that some dont understand about this illness ?


Ok, so your ex was harassing you and put you in jail, and you're now married to a drunk who abuses you and put you back in jail the same day your ex did so? Honey, open your eyes. Why are you putting up with this nonsense and going back for more? You gotta get away from these losers and find yourself a better kind of man! Life is too short to settle for these kinds of men and their nonsense. You deserve better than this! Your kids deserve better than this!

Here is some tough love for you:

You say your husband doesn't hit you, but that he has pushed you down once and tried to choke you once.

Let's not split hairs here, pushing and choking are just as bad as hitting. He is an abuser. You are being abused.

He's gotten physical with you twice, and that's absolutely, without a doubt, 100 percent unacceptable, and he will do it again. Abuse is abuse is abuse - stop downplaying what he does and making excuses for his behavior. There are no excuses for that kind of treatment and no one deserves it.

He's pushed you down, he's tried to choke you... what is he going to do next time? Unless he gets some help and gets sober, which it sounds like he's not ready to do yet, there will be a next time. What does he have to do to you to make you wake up and say enough? What does he have to do to you to make you put your own, and your daughters', health, safety and sanity first?

Stop volunteering to be a victim of his.

Stop making excuses for him or why you put up with it.

Of course he promised to stop drinking. But he didn't keep that promise, did he? No. He didn't keep it to you. He didn't keep it to your kids. What does that teach your kids besides to not be able to trust?

Drunks make a lot of empty promises to stop drinking, they also say they're sorry a lot after a bad fight thinking those words somehow make it all better - but they don't! A drunk's promises and apologies are nothing but more manipulation and empty words.

My ex used to beg and promise to change. Never happened. He'd write me cards and notes full of I love you and I'm sorry, but the next day or week he'd come home drunk and it would all start again. He would bring me long stemmed red roses the day after the really bad fights. He thought roses and/or a cute card would somehow make up for all the ugly, hurtful things he said to me, for all the stress and drama, or later on in the relationship for doing things such as throwing the coffee table at me, ripping the phone out of the wall when I tried to call the police, ripping the bedroom door off the hinges when I tried to walk away from the yelling and go to bed because I had finally learned not to try to argue with a drunk, kicking me... and when I didn't show the proper appreciation for the roses, when I didn't respond with love and total forgiveness for his crap, he'd get angry, get drunk, blame me for the impending fight because I was not appreciating his efforts, and the whole cycle would start again. I divorced the jerk almost 11 years ago, and to this day I still cannot stand long stem red roses. I've become a very cheap date on Valentine's Day as a result! LOL

Oh, and he and I didn't do you know what either for most of our marriage, because it is darn near impossible to feel intimate and loving towards someone who yells, puts you down, treats you like dirt and abuses you. Plus, kissing a drunk is sloppy, and the booze breath is gross, and I swear that stale booze stink comes out of their pores when they sweat even if they haven't had a drink that day... no thank you, not interested. YUCK!

You have two very impressionable girls. 11 and 15 years old. Please really think about what all this is doing to them. If they are not already, please get them into private counseling right away. They may also benefit from Alateen, where they can talk to other kids their ages who are growing up in alcoholic households. They have a drunk father and a mother who keeps putting up with it - they are growing up in a house where they are learning to settle for less in relationships and that what they are seeing between you and your husband is acceptable behavior between a man and wife. They are being primed to become the next generation of abused women and something needs to be done to stop that cycle. Kids learn what they live.

I know you love your girls, but if you really want them to have a better life, find a way to pick yourself up off the floor. Tap into the mama bear instict to protect your cubs for strength as you figure out the best way to give yourself and your girls a happy and healthy home and future.

If you are going to wait to leave until you are well enough to work, what happens if you don't get that well in six months? A year? Two years? Three years? How much time are you willing to throw away being unhappy and mistreated? How much more time are you willing to subject your children to the tension and fear and constant unstable feeling that comes with growing up in that kind of environment? Don't let money make you feel trapped, there is assistance out there.

Living with all that stress and drama at home can wreak havoc on a struggling thyroid and adrenals, it can make mental health issues and nervous disorders worse because you're always having to be on guard waiting for the next fight. If you're having agoraphobia, depression, panic attacks on top of all the challenge of hypoT symptoms...

You will feel better once your thyroid levels are where they need them to be, but what are the chances you're going to be able to get them where they need to be when challenging them so much with the environment you're living in?

I think you may need to reverse your plan. Instead of getting well and then getting out, think about changing it to get out now as you are still working on getting well. I'd be willing to bet you'll find getting well is easier and goes faster once you're not living with an abusive drunk and all the stress and drama that comes with it. After my divorce I didn't have a single migraine for a full year and I also managed to quit smoking cold turkey without having many cravings. My depression decreased, as did my daily fatigue. It didn't go away, because it was still a symptom of my untreated hypoT, but it did decrease thanks to the reduced daily stress.

I don't know if your falling down is a panic attack or not. If you don't feel these episodes are brought on by panic or anxiety, then you need to talk to your doctor about them again and describe exactly what is happening right before, during, and right after an episode. But it does sound like these episodes are simply a side effect and reaction to the extreme stress and unhappiness you're living in. Living with someone who drinks and yells all the time keeps you in a constant state of stress, and because you are afraid of having one of these episodes when you go out, you get even more stressed and worked up, which leads to another episode. You are caught in a vicious cycle that is adding to the anxiety, stress, fear, depression and so on and it probably isn't going to get better until you take action to break the cycle.

Al-anon for yourself is a good first step, but you also need to call a lawyer or legal aid. Get yourself information on what you will need to do and the best way to do it so you have the knowledge for when you need it. If you are in immediate physical danger, if he pushes, tries to choke, raises his hand or does any other action of violence towards you, or makes even the smallest threat of physical violence, get out of there right away and call the police from a safe location. If you are not in immediate physical danger, or there is no threat being made of physical violence, then in some states it is better to try to get hubby out (either by asking him to leave, or having him arrested and hauled out) so he can't turn around and claim abandonment and hold that against you if there is a custody battle. Only a lawyer would know and be able to give you the best advice. If there is any chance of a custody fight, a lawyer may also suggest a legal separation for a few months to give you time to pull yourself together and work on your health before having to face a judge.

As with most new things and challenges, the first step is always the hardest to take, but you can do it if you really want to.

Be smart. Be safe. Take good care of yourself and your kids. Life is short and it is meant to be enjoyed, don't waste what you have left on a drunk jerk who mistreats you. Don't keep setting that kind of example for your kids. You do deserve better and you can have better.

Be well,

Old 07-19-2007, 07:44 AM   #9
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rav4grl HB User
Re: why is it that some dont understand about this illness ?

Hi Vickie, I too am going thru HYPOHELL right now. What makes it worse is that I moved from Jersey to Florida 2 years ago. I moved down here with my alcoholic boyfriend. Never knew he was an alcoholic drunk until I came down here and lived with him. He is not physically abusive but bigtime mental abusive. I have no friends or family here and am stuck since I brought my five dogs with me and a big bird. I have no job and am living in a rural area. I watch tv all day and night...I have no life! I cannot leave to even see my Dad who is two hours boyfriend works from home and is in a bedroom on the computer drinking every day. He drinks 138 cans of beer a week! If I could leave I would...and never look back! This is a horrible life living with and alcoholic plus not feeling well....I get zero compassion from him. When I complain he says take your dogs and get out! He knows I cannot...............STUCK like you! He is 63 and I am a young 54....too young to live this kinda life! I do not tell my family because they already worry about me. So I do not even have anyone to talk to. Hopefully I will get my meds for my thyroid straightened out eventually and will at least feel better. Right now I have brainfog, dizzy, forgetful, sweats and headaches. I guess all the side affects of an out of control thyroid. I have no doc down here and right now no insurance either......stuck again!

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