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Old 01-06-2010, 06:53 PM   #1
fastkar
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Need Advice

Hi all ~

I posted a while ago when first diagnosed. I am somewhat discouraged and trying to see if anyone has similar stories. Maybe this is not the place to post but did not know where to seek advice. Please let me know if there is another place for this...

My husband has been acting strange since I was diagnosed Hypothyroid in November. It has even caused some arguments. I finally got him to tell me that he thinks that this is not a true condition and that the doctor has it all wrong. I am not sure how to react? Anyone else experience reactions like this from loved ones? ... any advice?

Confused and hurt...

Fastkar

Last edited by fastkar; 01-07-2010 at 02:11 PM.

 
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Old 01-07-2010, 06:49 AM   #2
javelina
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Re: Need Advice

I think many of us have had varying amounts of support or lack therof from our partners and family members. It can be the hardest part of this and the fact that thyroid disease affects many things including our mental health just makes it more difficult.

You are not alone here, I've had many discussions with my husband about my health issues and their probable causes and we don't always agree either. The fact that it took me years to pin down my core thyroid problem and had to explore many other options first just made me look flaky as hell at times too.

What exactly does you husband think is going on with you? And what does he base this on?

 
Old 01-07-2010, 02:10 PM   #3
fastkar
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Re: Need Advice

Hi all ~

Thanks for responding... I am not sure at his reaction. It has caused a lot of tension between us. I think it might be a lack of understanding. I am trying to learn more and more about it but he seems to not have any interest in sharing this with me. When I do share something new about it he has no response. I feel like I have to prove it to him - not sure how to do that.
I have been dealing with a lot the past year... a lot of the symptoms of hypo but had no idea that I had it until November. I lost a baby in the summer of 08 and so that has caused a lot of pain and hurt both individually and in our relationship. I am not sure it is related to the hypo or not. He told me that I have more symptoms now then before I was put on medication but the truth is I hid a lot of my symptoms so that I did not bother anyone - I thought I was just experiencing stress. I am not one to complain about much.
Overall we have a great marriage, 12 years, 3 kids... for some reason this has put a wall between us and I am not sure how to break it down. From what I hear from the rest of you is that this is a lifelong condition so it is not like I can cure it. So how to do I proceed with really no support? My doctor did the tests, the nurse called in my prescription. I have had no medical advice whatsoever. I don't retake tests until February.

I don't know, I feel like I am overreacting but then again I don't...

I am so glad I found this board. I have learned a lot from it just am not sure how to continue on from here...

Thanks for listening...


Karly

 
Old 01-07-2010, 02:18 PM   #4
javelina
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Re: Need Advice

Are you sure you are optimized on your thyroid meds and getting the best treatment? As you've probably read here, many are not and if you're continuing to have symptoms it will only make things more difficult in your relationship. It sounds like the medical advice concerning your thyroid is pretty minimal. How are your labs and what is your current treatment?

 
Old 01-07-2010, 02:34 PM   #5
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Re: Need Advice

I remember you, fastkar. You were diagnosed with a very high TSH, around 12, wasn't it? You have a real disease, my dear. It appears that your husband can't accept that you are human, subject to real diseases. He may be used to seeing you handle your responsibilities even though you were feeling punk for months/years, so now that you need sympathy and support while you get well, he doesn't see the need. You need to remind him that he vowed to be loyal to you "in sickness and in health".

A wise man once said, "Ignorance can be educated, but you can't fix stupid." So... Is your husband merely ignorant but willing to learn? Or is he putting up such a brick wall that he refuses to be educated? If it's the latter situation, there is little hope that he'll ever support you while you recover. If he's willing to learn, find him some basic, solid information from a reliable source that he can quickly read and immediately grasp. Most men are not big fans of wordiness or being bombarded with "feelings". Trying to make him read the experiences of dozens of women on a message board like this is unlikely to help, for example. Men want their information concise and in small doses. Get him to read the following webpage, where the main symptoms of hypoT are listed, including its risks of fertility problems and miscarriage.
http://www.endocrine.niddk.nih.gov/pubs/Hypothyroidism/

If all else fails, tell him that goshdarnit, you're sick, and that you will be your normal self again. But until then, you expect him to honor that marriage vow. Tell him that one day, if you both live long enough and are still married, he will be sick and that you intend to treat him better than he's been treating you lately.

Last edited by midwest1; 01-07-2010 at 02:35 PM.

 
Old 01-08-2010, 01:20 PM   #6
fastkar
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Re: Need Advice

Thanks guys for the advice and support - it has added some light to my day!

Yes, midwest, I was the one with a 12. I guess that is really high?

Here are my lab results:

TSH - 12
FT4 - .6 (.8-1.8)
Diagnosed November 16th, 2009
Put on 50mcg Levothyroxine

In the husband discussion, I have a very highly educated intelligent husband. Usually very supportive. This is why this has come to such a shock to me. He has told me that he has read about it online and that after 5 websites of saying the same thing he feels he knows enough (even though he did not know where the thyroid was and pointed to my chest when I asked him) - which leads me to believe he has not read that much! I have tried to share what I little I know of the disease with him and he has shown interest but only after I have literally broken down in front of him - and then I feel as though he is just interested to get me off his back or so that I will get off my pity pot. I guess it is just something that I am going to have to deal with for awhile, it is just sad to me. After being married for so long, I feel I should be able to lean on him. He has no idea I am on these boards so I know that is not part of the problem. I have literally stopped talking about it all together - which is not helping either. I think it is only making it worse for me. That is why I am so grateful for this board.

Anyway... thanks for listening............ it helps more than you know!


Last edited by fastkar; 01-09-2010 at 09:17 AM.

 
Old 01-08-2010, 03:46 PM   #7
midwest1
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Re: Need Advice

In some ways, I'm fortunate that my husband had major health problems before I got mine. Because I was so nurturing to him during that time, he was without question absolutely supportive during the year it took for me to 'get right' again. He didn't want to know every single detail about the illness... still doesn't. But he was there in every other way, understanding and uncomplaining when I wasn't well enough to "do" holiday dinners or keep up with the laundry, etc. I wish every woman could have such an of a husband as mine. I'm sure your husband has great qualities, too, but this doesn't seem to be one of them.

There is always someone around here to listen, so don't make yourself so scarce! Keep filling us in on how you're doing.

 
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