autumn83175

Heather,

Thank you for your post. I am actually feeling better today than I have since Friday. That is why I had the hope to write the post asking for help. I actually slept last night for 5 hours, which is a record for the month.

My husband left Friday without notice, just didn't come home. I spent the weekend worrying about him. I heard Tuesday he is at his moms in OK, but I have only received one email from him. I know he is not well. Unfortunatly, his mother will not get him help, because she herself lives in denial. He is having what is called a manic episode. From the research I started Monday I am certain he has Bi-Polar. It is a somewhat common but highly misdiagnosed mental condition. Looking back and thinking about his symptoms and history, I can see all the signs I missed, which is hard for me. This episode was brought on by stress and spring. I am the cause of the stress. He has had manic episodes before, they usually last two weeks. I am hopeful he will come home as he usually heads back to NJ when he is stable again. When he does we will have to get him on meds to level him out. It is hard to treat sometimes because bi-polars feel better on meds, and then they don't think they need them. They also still have chances of having manic or depressive episodes. He will have this for life. There is no "cure". I guess it could be worse, he could have cancer, but it is hard to see someone so young and wonderful lose their mind, if only for a few weeks here and there. This also killed the dream I had to have another child with him, because it is usually, but not always, hereditary. We were supposed to look into in vitro fert after my recovery was complete. So unfortunately, I have had a bummer of a weekend. I know I have to want to get better, and I do, sometimes it is hard when you feel hopeless though. I am usually very positive, this all just came at once. I am doing much better today and trying to keep busy around the house, which I have ignored since Friday so there is plenty to do. I am also focusing on eating and sleeping more this week. At least I had the good sense to rent the back half of the house to a friend, to get some money in here. This last episode will cost us at least $3000, so it killed an already lousy money situation. But the good news is that I will soon have DSL because of the roommate. So see, there is a sunny side- no more 28K connection Thank you for your support, my mother does help physically but has never been very emotionally supportive. I always have to remember with her that actions speak louder than words. She is not mean, just never knows what to say. So thank you much for your words of kindness. They do mean alot. I will keep you posted.

Autumn

[Edited for profanity. The word "lousy" is a little better. Thanks for your cooperation - Well-come Moderator.]

[This message has been edited by Well-come (edited 04-24-2003).]