| | Really need to vent
I've about had it and I need to vent, so bear with me.
I currently work two jobs...one full-time and one part-time. I've been doing this now for seven months. I typically only get one day off every two weeks, and it's really starting to get to me. Unfortunately, my finances are such that I can't quit my part-time job right now. I'm trying very hard to pay off my credit card bill, (as well as car payment and student loans) as I am sick and tired of being in debt. Unfortunately it seems that for every step forward I make, I make a tremendous step back, so I either end up in the same place or, more often, even further back. For example, my rent was lowered, however I also had a mishap with my car and now my insurance rates went up. So what I would have saved on rent (plus a little more) will now go to my stupid insurance company. So, since I'm so stressed and tense all the time, my jaw is always tight, so I end up with horrible jaw pain, face pain, earaches, headaches...you know, and all the fun stuff associated with tmj.
There's no one I can really talk to about this who understands. My parents are splendid and know what it's like to work such long hours, and they sympathize and greatly admire and respect my being so diligent, but for some reason it doesn't help much. My boyfriend, though wonderful and supportive, cannot comprehend what it's like. He's still in school and, though he works part-time, he has tons of free time, and I feel myself getting more and more resentful of him because he can sleep till noon and whatnot, while I have to drag my butt out of bed to go to work every day. Granted, he'll be graduating soon, and will be getting a "real" job, so soon he'll have some idea of what I'm going through. However, he has no idea what it's like to have so much debt hanging over one's head and to be dealing with such tension and pressure.
And it's not like I went on a bunch of spending splurges and crap, but I did have to put my tuition on my credit card on more than one occasion, because my parents couldn't afford to pay my whole way through school, and I didn't understand the student loan thing at the time. I am more than responsible, and have been for all of my adult life...I've had jobs ever since I was 17 (minus the first 2 years I was in college). It's just that all of this is really starting to get to me and I'm about at my wits' end. I'm only 27, and yet I feel like my life is just an endless tedium of working, paying bills, and attempting to deal with stress.
If anyone has any input, suggestions, words of support, or ideas how I can try to relax, it would be much appreciated, as my tension level has been at an all-time high for months.
Thanks for being patient with my rantings, and I hope everyone out there is having a better day than I am.