I can sooo relate to this. If I could give up work entirely and live a life of leisure I'd be so much better. I also sit at a computer all day. I think posture is a big culprit. Do not sit with your head pulled forward away from your body, if you lean in to your desk to type, or write, move your back in line with your head, if you see what I mean. Head pulled forward is bad. See if you catch yourself clenching whilst you work. Could be another factor. Otherwise it's just stress - work stress makes my symptoms worse, no question - then again, having no money and not being able to pay my mortgage would be even more stress. It's a big problem, I share your frustration, been pondering this dilemma myself. Lottery win?
I have to tell everybody. For 2 years after suffering from TMJD(from getting 9 fillings done through a controversial procedure called air abrasion which messed up my bite), my desk job became intolerable. My neck pain was really bad. SO I quit my job a couple months ago. Now I am making alot less money working a night grunt job(it's the only job I was able to land in this economy) where I am on the phone wearing headsets and talking for 6 hours straight. Unfortunately, by the end of the night my jaw bones ache. BUt recently I had 4 onlays(partial crowns) put on to stabilize my bite. THe onlays have made my bite feel different and the left side is different from the right side. Although before the onlays, the bite was completely LOPSIDED from the original 9 fillings. So it's a long process, my TMJD joint(s) was dislocated from the original 9 fillings and it's not going back the way it was no matter how many onlays or bite adjustments. I have good days and bad days. One prosthodontist didn't want to do onlays on my 9 original fillings as he felt it may not work and may have even made things worse. ALthough getting the onlays wasn't a useless procedure and I found some improvement it was not without drawbacks. I don't know of any way to get the TMJ's in the proper position once they have been messed up.
Having no money worries and not having a stressful job would definitely improve my TMJ's though. BUt I have another 30 years before retirement so I hope my TMJ;s hold out.