Chris,
Welcome to "our family". Terrible family ties we have, PAIN!!!

This disease is horrible but the main thing is try to keep a postive attitude and remember you are not in this alone. Somedays I wonder what did I do to deserve this, but...I have no answer. When I get to feeling down, I come to this board. It does help to be able to talk to others in the same mess.
Sometimes I use moist heat, other times, ice feels better. Have gotten to where I can't sleep with a pillow or end up with a migraine.
I hope you find a good specialist because you are right, "nobody seems to know much about TMJD". A lot of guess work going on and lots of times, patients end up worse off. Make your choices wisely and get more than one opinion if you don't like what you're hearing.
Take care and good luck with your appointment.
Elaine