D. Gottlieb

I was diagnosed with TMJ about 6 months ago and have been in quite a bit of pain for a few years now. About two months ago my position was phased out at the company I worked at so now I am without much money and have no insurance. Even with my insurance, it only covered part of the initial evaluation and now I feel helpless in resolving the issue. The problem is that I need about a dozen fillings and a few crowns before they can fit me with one of those mouth things you wear at night. This is estimated to cost between $2,000-$4,00. I have tried advil and aleve but it seems like pennies in the grand canyon, and , if anything, all I notice is stomach upset.

I’ve never had dental insurance and have not been able to afford to see one in about a decade. I checked at the University dental school, but I can’t even afford to set up a payment plan with them. One more monthly payment and I won't be able to eat, at least not very often.

I am getting very depressed about this because I find it difficult to sleep or concentrate on anything with the pain in my jaw and neck the way it is. I am tired of the way my life is, living like this. The only way I can sleep is to drink about six shots of cheap Bourbon, and I think this is making things worse in the long run. But my problem is the way I feel in the here and now, dealing with this constant pain. I feel like am getting old and that life is just going to be downhill from here on out.

I have also more or less lost the vision in my right eye due to a corneal disease called keratoconus; after spending about $4,000 tying various treatmnents, all I am is deeper in debt. With the Holidays coming, I wish I could just sleep until they were over. The pain involved here has eroded my ability to deal with depression from other factors, I feel it is pushing me over the edge. If only I had been born in Canada or someplace that offered halthcare; I feel like I will never pull out of all this debt and be able to address these issues.

Today it rained all day and I slept 15 hours or tried to; when I woke up I looked out the window over the park and cried as I saw the kids getting out of school, young and with their lives ahead of them. I wish I could pull myself out of this. I have sent out a dozen resumes and waited, but I feel more and more a sense of panic, of failure, and the pain is a constant reminder of this.