another friendship reuined due to TMJ - TMJ Disorder -TemporoMandibular Joint Message Board

mdla · 01-31-2004, 03:12 AM

Im so sad I have been dating this guy for 2 months he has a work related banquet tomorrow night which i said I would go to. but he tells me tonight he wants me to go to dinner w. his friends beforehand. I really really suffer when I talk a lot and the event itself is going to cause me pain, its 4 hours on a boat so I can't get off. I really can't do dinner where I have to embarrass myself by not chewing & extra talking and then be trapped on a boat for 4 hours. i will want to jump off the boat. So I told him I dont want to go to the dinner, he insisted but I know the pain is literally going to kill me if not freeze up my face. Why do we have to choose between life and pain?

saaraah · 01-31-2004, 07:59 AM

mdla.. i know how you feel, and im sorry that you're going thru this. many times, i've had to bow out of dinner parties and whatnot and take a breather because of my jaw.

does he get it how much pain you're in/will be in? the thing is, if this guy doesnt understand/care how you feel, there is someone out there who does.

i wish i could make things better for you. please take care,

- saaraah.

Jill J · 01-31-2004, 08:23 AM

Hi mdla.......I know how you feel. I have gone through this in the past but what I've decided to do is live my life the best way possible. I say go for it and deal with the pain the next day. Just make sure you don't spend the night with him so you can use your meds/splint/heating pad and such. Order only soft foods that do not require alot of chewing and if it's his friends they will do most of the talking and you could just listen. It's frustrating when starting a new relationship (stressful enough without TMJ) that TMJ rules your life. Refuse to let it take over and take control of your life back. So I say go and enjoy yourself!!! Best of luck and keep us posted.......Jill

Carmaanne · 01-31-2004, 08:43 AM

Hi mdla
I am afraid I side with Jill on this one. Go and cope the best you can. You don't have to do a lot of talking you can be a listener and order softer foods, I am sure they will have a pasta or something. Don't let the TMJ take over your life and relationship.
Good luck
Carmaanne

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jill J

Hi mdla.......I know how you feel. I have gone through this in the past but what I've decided to do is live my life the best way possible. I say go for it and deal with the pain the next day. Just make sure you don't spend the night with him so you can use your meds/splint/heating pad and such. Order only soft foods that do not require alot of chewing and if it's his friends they will do most of the talking and you could just listen. It's frustrating when starting a new relationship (stressful enough without TMJ) that TMJ rules your life. Refuse to let it take over and take control of your life back. So I say go and enjoy yourself!!! Best of luck and keep us posted.......Jill