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TMJ Disorder -TemporoMandibular Joint Message Board
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Old 05-14-2005, 01:34 AM   #1
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Unhappy Breakup over TMJ

I had to vent to someone who understands. My boyfriend, or now ex-, a few days ago said the my TMJ will "forever be your passport to get out of things." I have pretty bad TMJ, and I try really hard not to shy from life but when it gets bad, on the days my face is cramped, my joints ache, I really can't handle being around a lot of people trying to talk and make facial expressions like smiling. My ears will ring and every muscle in my head will throb and I just cant handle it. So I missed mothers day, the pain was bad and I slept most of the day, and the man who I once thought was super understanding of my medical problem says its a "passport" to get out of things?

I just had to vent here, because as you guys know the truth is when you have something that hurts and prevents normal communications, you want to break down the walls of TMJ so bad and even fight for one day of talking where your head doesnt hurt and doesnt feel awkward to talk. Ive gone to many functions in pain, that's unavoidable when you have chronic pain. But if someone cares about you, dont you think they would trust you enough to know that you'll try as hard as you can? It's not like my TMJ is something I made up, Ive got tomos, mris all the clicks and pops, this darn thing hurts and now Im just crushed. Can anyone love you when you can't kiss them sometimes?

 
Old 05-14-2005, 04:15 AM   #2
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Re: Breakup over TMJ

Its best to find out earlier than later how supportive your boyfriend is and will be in times of illness or any other problems that may arise. I'm sorry this has happened to you and we on this board know how TMJ can really disrupt ones life. Most people I tell it to have never heard of it. Are you on any pain meds or what are you doing for your TMJ? I'm sure the good Lord will send you a very caring nuturing and understanding person to take his place. Hang in there and try to stay positive.

 
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Old 05-14-2005, 04:29 PM   #3
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Re: Breakup over TMJ

Thank you for your kind words. yes tmj certainly disrupts jobs, relationships and prevents us from having food we like.

Ive done a lot of different treatments, neuro muscular dentristry, physical therapy, mucle relaxants and anti inflamatories, pain meds, botox, 3 arthrocentsis surgeries, so far nothing will get my right disk back in place.

 
Old 05-14-2005, 07:12 PM   #4
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Re: Breakup over TMJ

hi papergoods,

i'm sorry to hear you have had a relationship problem because of the tmjd. i can't tell you how many fools have said utterly moronic things to me regarding tmjd. i can tell you this though: the tmjd will sort out the wheat from the chaff - it will sort out your true friends. it will sort out which relatives will bend over backwards for you - you know, the ones who will know when and how to help you when you don't even ask. as for life companions: the type of person one would want would be one who would never, ever throw the comment in your face that you use tmjd as a crutch. unfortunately (fortunately - maybe?) this tmjd makes a sufferer emotional, compassionate, sensitive... i hope you find someone who has these same qualities and will value them in you too.

 
Old 06-17-2005, 06:21 AM   #5
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Re: Breakup over TMJ

hi papergoods,
honey, if someone really loves you they'll do whatever it takes. i have cerebral palsy and tmj. My boyfriend has been with me 15yrs. God has a better person for you, honey.

 
Old 06-17-2005, 08:31 AM   #6
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Re: Breakup over TMJ

Hi all i understand my partner is totally wore down with me but he sticks with me!

Miss L

 
Old 06-17-2005, 01:53 PM   #7
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Re: Breakup over TMJ

Papergoods,
I'm sorry for your loss. My boyfriend has seem me go through a few health situations this past year and now TMJ! I'm not sure if he'll be able to handle it. I decided not to get worked up over that right now. I figure if he can't handle it then I'm better off.(he's a really good man and hates to see me suffer) I agree with the other replies, there is someone out there that will love you for who you are. I only hope the pressure of not having to worry about what he thinks anymore will help you to concentrate on yourself now.

 
Old 06-17-2005, 05:39 PM   #8
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Re: Breakup over TMJ

I was just talking with a women who suffered with tmj for years then her husband left her, and now her tmj is much better. I guess the stress left when he did. good luck

 
Old 06-17-2005, 06:12 PM   #9
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Re: Breakup over TMJ

I'm sorry to hear this has happened to you. I too understand how hard it is to go out and smile and talk when my TMJ is acting up.

Just remember that there are people who understand what you are going through and are very supportive.

Take care!

 
Old 07-12-2005, 08:54 PM   #10
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Re: Breakup over TMJ

Hi,
I'm 17, and I worry about the same thing, how this (and other health issues) are going to affect my relationships. But like everyone has been saying, they'll stick with you, I've found out who my good friends were... the ones who understood when it hurt to be around them, to laugh, smile...yeah, true relationships will last.

 
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