meditation

Hi.

The pain with this is horrible. And, comparative to the other procedures I've had, it's no cakewalk.

But, I had no option. When I bit down on that screw, it messed my jaw up terribly. I tried every non surgical option prior to this. And, I didn't make this decision very easy.

There's a point where you say, "I am willing to do whatever it takes to get my life back."

I hadn't been out in ages. The times I had, I had horrible anxiety attacks and pain attacks.

I saw a strong, independent woman crumble. That is why I made the choice. NO doubt, you've seen my posts.

I feel like I am falling a part. I don't sleep. I've lost a lot of weight. And, I may not ever be able to do my job again.

But, I felt like I had to take the risk. I miss my friends. I miss the life I had. I want to get my Ph.D. But, without the TJR, there is no hope.

As small as it is, right now, I have to hold on to that. I am 31yrs old...and, I had the surgery on my birthday...hoping as crazy as this sounds, for some good luck.

I had 12 surgeries as a teenager. And, while a small part of that was up to me, it really wasn't because I was a minor. My mother made the only choice she felt was right.

I always tell people....hold off on surgery. Don't consider it lightly.

For me, this is my only hope of having a normal life, again. Of being able to teach my students. Of being able to go back to school. Of getting married and even having a child.

It may not work. But, I know in my heart that I've done everything possible......

that's just me,
meditation