Sorry to hear what a tough time you've been through. These issues sure are tricky ones.
If you've been to 3 ear specialists and they say you are ok, you probably are. However, sometimes issues get missed. If you are still doubtful, it can't hurt to find the best ear specialist and get another opinion if it'll help answer some questions.
The real question for me is on what evidence did your NM dentist base your CT scan diagnosis? If the NM dentist has definitive causal evidence for TMJ, that speaks for itself. If the dentist has not based her/his diagnosis on anything specific, I can understand why you are sceptical. If this is the case, find out exactly what is causing your TMJD so that you can be sure about it. We have to spend so much money on treatment, it's understandable to want to ensure that it's money well spent!
I have heard your ear issues as a very common complaint for TMJD folks. I've spent a lot of time on these sites so that I feel very familiar with it, although it is the only one TMJD symptom that I don't experience. The structures of the TM joint are encased in a type of capsule, somewhat like a mickey mouse balloon inside a regular balloon, like you see at Disney. When there is something wrong inside this capsule, swelling occurs and pressure is placed on the ear structures resulting in the sensations that you have described. Once the TMJ issues are sorted out, these sensations usually abate as swelling and pressure inside the capsule decrease.
Hope this helps! And I hope you find some relief soon