Help! DH can't "perform" on command... - Trying to Conceive (TTC) Message Board

loves2smile · 08-30-2005, 01:17 PM

We've been TTC for almost a year now. I've seen a doctor and we're being tested, etc. I don't ovulate regularly, so using ovulation tests to predict it is a must - however, DH can't perform on command. I think we'll probably need to start fertility drugs (Clomid, etc.) and I know the doc will say that we need to be having intercourse on the 10th, 12th, 14th, etc. day of my cycle, but I don't know how we'll be able to do that if DH can't perform on command?? Any suggestions would be GREATLY appreciated!!

Jordyn · 08-30-2005, 01:21 PM

Getting in the mood is never a problem for my dh (lol) but definately for me somedays...having a 2 year old might have something to do with it.
I would suggest using as many of the wiles us women seem to have to your advantage...you know him best as to what gets him going. Forget about the fact that you are ttc until after the deed is done (then get your pillows out, sleep on your side etc.). Until then just do whatever it was that you did when you first fell in love.

ladybug8372 · 08-31-2005, 09:33 PM

i have 2 suggestions for you: do you have to tell him that "tonights the night we need to start bd'g" ?? if he thinks that you are just simply wanting to be with him...it may ease the pressure. another suggestion would be...just simply say to your husband that you want to give the baby idea a rest to give you guys time to be together again without the pressure of trying....that you just simply want to be a husband and wife being intimate with each other , that you miss it being about just you and him. if at all possible, dont inform him of any tests or dr's appts that you may have....just let him think that the idea has been totally dropped.

when the perfect time comes around.....you dont have to clue him in about it being the perfect time......just do something romantic and enticing for him....something that you know will really turn him on. as long as he thinks that its just about you and him being together....that should ease alot of his pressure. its really worth a shot. let us know how it goes. good luck.