TTC and depression - Trying to Conceive (TTC) Message Board

aliciaheart04 · 08-09-2006, 12:54 AM

Hi everyone! I know I already have two other posts going on but there is something I really need to talk to you guys about because I think you are the only ones who could possibly understand. Has anyone else gotten really depressed over TTC?? If you have read my previous posts you know that my DH and I have been TTC for 2 years now. And around about a year and a half it started to really get me down and here is why... I feel like I am such a failure.. I mean a woman is born with the ability to give birth and to bring new life into this world and raise them and hope they do good in the world. And I have had a lot of failure in my life and I thought this would be the once thing that I wouldn't fail at and I was wrong. I never had a good home life I never had a connection with my mother and my father was never around so I wanted so much to have a family and be a mother and do all the things with my children that I never got to do as a child. It has always been my dream. I thought it was a simple dream because most people dream of having a good career or becoming rich and famous. Me I just wanted to be a good mom. I thought that was a realistic dream but as of now I am thinking it isn't. I just feel so bad.. I feel like I am letting my DH down because he wants a family just as much as I do. Every month when AF shows up he takes it just as hard as I do. But he has been wonderful threw this whole thing. Our relationship isn't hurting because of this because he is such a wonderful man but I am hurting during this. Every month it feels like my heart breaks. And as I said I just feel like a failure. People say not to feel sorry for yourself but right about now I don't only feel sorry for myself but I feel sorry for my DH as well. Thank You to anyone who has read this whole huge paragraph and anyone who responds. I just need to know if anyone else feels this way and maybe hear some kind words.

clarke.one · 08-09-2006, 03:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by aliciaheart04

Hi everyone! I know I already have two other posts going on but there is something I really need to talk to you guys about because I think you are the only ones who could possibly understand. Has anyone else gotten really depressed over TTC?? If you have read my previous posts you know that my DH and I have been TTC for 2 years now. And around about a year and a half it started to really get me down and here is why... I feel like I am such a failure.. I mean a woman is born with the ability to give birth and to bring new life into this world and raise them and hope they do good in the world. And I have had a lot of failure in my life and I thought this would be the once thing that I wouldn't fail at and I was wrong. I never had a good home life I never had a connection with my mother and my father was never around so I wanted so much to have a family and be a mother and do all the things with my children that I never got to do as a child. It has always been my dream. I thought it was a simple dream because most people dream of having a good career or becoming rich and famous. Me I just wanted to be a good mom. I thought that was a realistic dream but as of now I am thinking it isn't. I just feel so bad.. I feel like I am letting my DH down because he wants a family just as much as I do. Every month when AF shows up he takes it just as hard as I do. But he has been wonderful threw this whole thing. Our relationship isn't hurting because of this because he is such a wonderful man but I am hurting during this. Every month it feels like my heart breaks. And as I said I just feel like a failure. People say not to feel sorry for yourself but right about now I don't only feel sorry for myself but I feel sorry for my DH as well. Thank You to anyone who has read this whole huge paragraph and anyone who responds. I just need to know if anyone else feels this way and maybe hear some kind words.

Hi- I'm new here and I feel the same I read your piece and I can relate to all of it I have posted similar posts about this very thing it's like a living hell you cant get out of always BFN's I too have been feeling depressed more so when AF is here once again and your DH sounds very much like mine ...we go through the same downers as ye do ...just desire all the time ..when I feel like this I have no interest in doing anything cookin, cleaning just want to ly down on the couch watch Tv and stay there alway from the outside whole in my little cocoon...no work .. no peple.. no mothers..no babies ...I feel so so empty when the AF arrive the once they go ..here's to TTC once again..I get so tired ...So it feels good that you are here feeling the same as I do ...I cant face the fact that I may never have kids...I got so low with it all that I starting smoking I said sure why not I cant even get preg I know I have to give them up again but at this moment I'm feeling at an all time low with it all...I hope you are feeling better .. Know that you are not alone in this long stressful journey...

TryN2BMommy · 08-09-2006, 06:42 AM

I'm with you both. We have been TTC for over 3 years now, and during that time my best friend has gotten PG three times on accident. It is mind blowing. My BF and I are not married, but he wants to become a daddy as much as I want to be a mommy. We have spent many nights in bed just holding each other and dreaming of the family we hope to have one day. It is so heart wrenching to wonder if it will ever happen for us.

Aliciaheart, have you seen a dr yet? I recently met with my OBGYN, and we learned that I have no working tubes. It can be fixed, but there is no way I am getting PG until then. So it is worth finding out if there is anything wrong with either your or DH or both. My BF also has low counts, so going to a dr was the best thing for us.

Sending tons of sticky baby dust your way. Here's hoping we all get the BFPs we are praying for

Holly~