kellie84 - Trying to Conceive (TTC) Message Board

fallen_angel · 08-12-2006, 05:47 AM

Hi kellie
i just wanted to thank you for the comment you made about me on the pregnancy board,which was really sweet and i appreciate it. i decided to reply on here instead of there because i was SO mad and didnt want to stir things up yet again!
The reason i went on pregnancy board in the first place was to gain some info for a friend of mine who is pregnant and had some concerns, and i have seen other people post to ask advice on behalf of others. But, when you are TTC, you cant help but take an interest in that board even if its just to gain insight about the symptoms we all look out for! When i noticed that thread i felt i had to reply just to point out that there are more important things than the sex of your baby, such as being lucky enough to be able to conceive, and carry and deliver a healthy baby in the first place. Of course it is natural for some pregnant ladies to feel hopeful about what sex baby they will have, but whenever anyone falls pregnant they know there is no guarantee. So i just wanted to put things into perspective and comment on what a wonderful gift they have anyway. What absolutely outraged and disgusted me was the comment made by the poster about not caring if other couples cant have children, all she cares about is the fact she can. Even if i wasnt having problems conceiving myself i would still be appalled by that remark.
Anyway, i would really like to thank you for your post. i know i ruffled a few feathers with my feelings, but i think many people would of been offended on reading a comment like that!
Lots of baby dust to you~

ibelieve · 08-12-2006, 08:43 AM

Hi. I know this isn't for me but I now need to vent. I just finished writing a response to her, but the thread was closed before I could post. I"M SO MAD RIGHT NOW! It just really hurts to know that there are people who could give a rip about the hell we're going through. Sigh. Looks like it's just us. Makes it even harder to be happy for ANY pregnant person. WHat if they all think that? Oh well, enough of this. As the mod said, it's not a health topic.

There's a link to a video called Empty Arms over on the infertility board. It's REALLY good. I have half a mind to put it on the pg board so they at least will understand some of our pain....

Thanks for standing up for us!
-believe

fallen_angel · 08-12-2006, 09:27 AM

Hi Believe,
i am glad i am not alone on how that thread made me feel! I was absolutely appalled. Ive been following your posts on here and i know how much heartache you have been through, more so than me. I cant even begin to explain how angry i felt reading that woman's comments. If you read the whole thread you probably noticed that many others on there claimed there was nothing wrong with what she had said and told me i shouldnt even be on the board! Im now wishing i hadnt gone on there. Its certainly put me off going on there in the future, im ever lucky enough.
I guess some ladies that are lucky enough to conceive easily and carry a pregnancy with no problems take the whole thing for granted. But no one should have such insensitivity towards others in a less fortunate and very painful situation. Anyway, like you said, it isnt a health topic so i guess we need to try and forget it

How is everything with you now?
~baby dust~

ibelieve · 08-12-2006, 09:55 AM

Well, I wouldn't go back, but a few girls from the m/c board are pregnant and I like to keep updated on them. Since they don't post on the m/c board anymore (would be too painful) I check up on them when I am feeling strong. Luckily, they have a 'mommies after m/c' thread, so I will now just zoom in on that and ignore everything else. Don't worry. I will check up on you when you're over there too.

It's so good to know we have friends, albiet cyber-friends, who support each other and even stick up for one another. Glad to have ya.

Oh yeah, we are going to another RE Tuesday morning. Hoping she has something for me. The other one just drew a few more labs that they didn't offer back in Jan. But I get the notion he won't do anything pro-active (i.e. clomid, heparin, etc.) unless labs warrant it.

Thanks for asking.
-believe

scrappin · 08-12-2006, 02:53 PM

Hi ladies,

I hope you don't mind if I interrupt. I just looked at that thread, I started on the last page and found I couldn't put in my two cents worth. I don't think anyone can fully understand or comprehend what it is like to suffer loss or infertility. I've never had infertility, but I can tell you about loss. After you have been through what many of us have been through, you would never take the miracle of life for granted. And I think being overly concerned about the sex of a baby takes it for granted. But when you haven't walked in shoes of someone whose baby died or someone who can't get pregnant, then I guess you still think pregnancy equals baby and you should get what you want. I'm sorry that you guys were treated that way and I'm hoping you are feeling better today. They haven't lost their innocence about the whole thing, we have. I'm so scared about this pregnancy that I'm not sure I want to be on that board, but I don't want to upset people on the m/c board either. I know some people don't want to hear about someone being pregnant. I just don't know what to do with myself. This will make my third pregnancy this year (that doesn't sound good does it). Maybe it will stick. Please, please, please.

Once again sorry about jumping in.

Pam