Age? - Trying to Conceive (TTC) Message Board

Fiona84 · 09-17-2006, 10:09 PM

Hi everyone,

I have been married 2 years, I will be 23 soon and my dear hubby is 25. I'm not quite done with college but am on my way, and DH has a decent, not great, job.

We are both getting that "baby fever", and though I didn't think it would happen this soon, it really has.

I hear people say how expensive it is to have a child, and to WAIT, but at the same time we both want to follow our hearts, which are telling us we are ready.

Many women in my church have babies really young (younger than me, straight after the honeymoon at 20 in many cases), and I always wondered why they didn't wait. I thought I'd want to wait much longer than I do.

I guess somethings can't be explained.

I guess my question is, are there many young mothers-to-be on here, and how did you know when it was the right time?

Sorry if this is the wrong board. On Pregnancy, you have to already be pregnant to post.

aliciaheart04 · 09-18-2006, 01:07 AM

Hi Fiona

I am not pregnant but I wanted to say something to you. I am going to be 21 in november. My DH and I have been ttc for a little over two years so I was 18 almost 19 when we started trying. Age is just a number hun. Yes having a baby is expensive. Most of my friends are either pregnant or have had there children and they are all doing it without any help from their parents or anything else and there babies don't go without. So if you think you are to young or you think your age is a problem don't worry about it. As long as you can put food in the babies tummy and keep that baby warm and give it lots and lots of love that is all that matters. I am sure that there are other people who feel differently that you should wait. But I am going to tell you what my grandmother told me. No matter how much money you make(unless you are a millionaire) you are never finacially ready for a baby. It sounds to me like you and you DH want to start a family and you want a child to love and to take care of and there is nothing wrong with that in my eyes. I haven't had anyone tell me to wait because they know that my dh and I will be great parents, even with how old we are. My DH is going to be 23 in October. All I have to say is follow your heart and if this is really what you and your DH want then GO FOR IT!!!

I hope that helps
Your Young TTC Buddy
Alicia

fallen_angel · 09-18-2006, 04:58 AM

I agree with Alicia.
I dont think there is ever anyone who can stand up and say they are 100% ready, financially and everything else, for a baby. There's no such thing as a perfect sitution. The most important thing is that you feel ready in your heart and its what you want, which it sounds as though it is.
I have a lot of friends who have had children very young. ive got to say most of them didnt plan their pregnancies at that age, but they are still great mums.
I think it sounds like you will be fantastic parents and you have obviously thought about this, so i would follow your heart

GoldenMom · 09-18-2006, 06:37 AM

Actually I don't think that 23 is all that young for a pregnancy! It seems like you have your life in order -- you are married, you are almost done with college, and your DH as a decent job. In the US the average age to have a first child is between 25 and 29, but up until now, the average was always in the early 20's.

I am almost 27 and TTC. I hadn't found the right person to marry at age 23 or I would already have a child or two!!

Wishing you the best!

eurokelly · 09-18-2006, 07:07 AM

Hi Fiona,

I agree as well! You sound like you have thought things through and considered whether it is the right thing for you at this point which is a lot more than many women do whatever their age! I just turned 30, have been married 6 years and wish we had TTC years ago! We did have good reasons for waiting but still, now I realise how much time we have wasted when we would have loved 3 or 4 children. In the UK the average age for women having their 1st is 29, but when you think how many women hit a brick wall these days in terms of fertility problems I think the trend may start to reverse again...

Good luck, I hope it all works out for you!
Kelly