I have been building up to this week, hoping that I would ovulate for the first time since m/c in July and all the signs were good....but last night DH was "too tired"....I freaked, which I am sure is the very worst response possible but I was just so upset and frustrated. he says he wants this as much as me, but he can't! If he did it wouldn't matter how tired he was - the window of opportunity is so limited you just have to get on with it
And then, for the icing on the cake, i finally got + on the OPK this morning...so we should have been BD last night, tonight...whenever, but at the moment we are not even speaking, I sent an awful email this morning when we both got into work to try to explain how I feel, but it wasn't nice because I am mad! And now i feel as though I have to pretend to be apologetic and nice so we don't miss the opportunity tonight - but then if I go back to being mad I am just being manipulative!! And I really don't want to be, but this is so important to me...so what is my alternative? let another month slip by? We practically never argue in 7 years, and the baby losses have if anything made us closer, but today I want to kill him
So tell me....how do I deal with it? I feel like an obsessive monster at the moment, maybe I AM obsessed because I am 30 years old and I want this more than anything else in the world....anyone recognise these feelings? xx
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