Just want to vent. My DH and I have had a name picked out for a girl for 10 years. A friend of my husband's and his wife are expecting and they told us they are not going to find out the sex of the baby. But if it is a girl they are using the name we have picked out. When they told my husband, he told them I would be livid. We have just started TTC and I am very very upset about this. My other friends told me they will pray they have a boy so I can still have my name. I just can't believe they are taking my name. I can't say 100% that we told them our name, but I'm 98% sure. We are still thinking about using the name even if they do, since we don't see them all that often and the children would not go to school together. Am I being unreasonable?
I don't think you're unreasonable! Its frustrating when a name you like gets "taken" by someone you know. I got mad when the name I've loved for years popped up on the "most popular baby name" list. If you don't see them often, I don't think there is any problem naming your baby the same thing. (But just to be sure, I'll be hoping they have a boy )
This brings back memories for me. My sister and I both liked the name Jessica and whoever had the girl first got the name. Needless to say I put off child bearing til this year as we just started. My niece is 9yrs old now.
Is the name a unique one you made up? If it isn't then you really have no dibs on the name. If you made it up and you introduced the name to them then it was very rude of them to take it. If it is a common name so what name your child it anyways. Who cares if their kid is named the same name - friends come and go and move away - the name is forever.
Who knows when their child is born they may change their minds and name her something else. You wouldn't believe the number of people who pick out a name and once the baby is born the name just doesn't fit and they choose another.
Thanks for the input. No, it's not a really common name. But it is a normal name........I didn't make it up. I guess I have been a little overly obsessed about it. I often check the newspapers to make sure it's not becoming a popular name (looking at the birth announcements). If it started to become a popular name, I would have to come up with something else. I have a common name myself and it was a pain having 5 of "me" in my classes through school and college. So I thought I was doing my future child a favor! I hope you are right, I hope they decide their daughter needs a different name after they see her. Or better yet, it's a BOY! Thanks again!
I totally know what you mean! You are definately not alone here & it is not selfish to expect people (when they know the name you have chosen) to respect that that is the name that you have chosen.
However.... a lot of people do like the same names (even friends & family) therefore, if you did tell your friend the name you chose for when you have a baby girl & she didn't mention that she had also chosen that for when she has a girl, then i think you can safely say that she has grown to like the name more & more since you told her. Whereas, if she piped up & said that she's always liked that name too, as soon as you told her, then i feel that that isn't disrespectful So it depends on the circumstances i guess.
I miscarried at 17 weeks in December, & i was sooo excited & had a boy & girl name picked out....... i thought i was safe because noone i knew was pregnant aswell/& if they were, they weren't due before me. So since i lost my baby, some people i know have fallen pregnant & now i just hope that they don't use the names that i wanted for my bundle of joy.
But i guess, like some of the other people said (& i thought this too), friends come & go.... but a name is for life! So go with your heart.... & you'll probably realise in time that friends that you thought would be forever drift away, so compromising on a name for your child that is going to be part of your life forever would just seem wrong
P.S - It's a bit like a certain name that i love, Paris, but when anyone mentions that name, people cringe because they can't help but to relate it to Paris Hilton, & it has now put me off the name because no-one sees past that, but if you like a name & you're dead-set on it, then use it.... don't worry about what other people say or do.... at the end of the day it's your choice!
We had a similar experience. My husband and I (both 27) got married within a few of his brother and now sister in law (21 and 18). Well, surprise, surprise, they are expecting and chose Logan for the name....just so happens Logan was my husbands choice for a boys name as well.
Personally i don't see that as a common name at all! I've only ever heard of the name but not for a very long time.... & never actually given to a child for a name, so i think that they took your name.... which it think is cruel & disrespectful to you
Remember what we all said about friends though (it's not very often that they're around forever)..... if you want this name, then have it! I can guarantee that you'll be happy you did (if you still like it as much). Sounds as though you are a bit bitter towards her now anyway (which is totally warranted, by my opinion) & that may have an effect on the future of your friendship! If your friend says anything, then just tell her that you were the one that introduced her to the name in the first place & she was rude to have named her daughter that. If she knows it's true, she won't say much, but then again she may have thought up a story that she has loved the name FOREVER!
Have you spoken to her about it yet? Maybe just ask her what made her choose that name & wait for her response, then try & decide whether you believe her or not! If she says she's always liked it, then maybe you should ask why she didn't mention that when you told her that that is the name that you had chosen for when you have a little girl. Atleast it will set your mind at ease & you'll get the answers you want.
Anyhow, thanks for the congrats & take care, best wishes & lots of sticky baby dust to you Keep your chin up!