has TTC = relationship problems for anyone else? - Trying to Conceive (TTC) Message Board

tami52100 · 04-04-2007, 12:19 PM

Hi everyone I was just wondering has TTC caused relationship problems for any of you? Has it cause you to loose intrest in having intercourse all together? Does cause you to feel really depressed alot? I don't know anyone on here remembers me or not I haven't been on here in awhile (I have been keeping up with everyone just not posting) I have been taking a break from it all trying to work on my relationship with my Dh. If any of you has been having problems or had these problems what did you do to fix it or how are you working on fixing it. I am open for suggestions. I know all to well TTC is hard been doing this for almost 7 yrs with heartbreaking M/C. I want to have another baby but I also want my husband but if I can't figure out how to fix the stress I am going put a end to the TTC and I don't want to but I do want to save my marriage.
I know this is a relationship question but it also has to do with TTC and you ladies are doing this month after month just like me and sometimes it can way to hard to deal with. I am sorry to be just rambling on but I have no one else to talk to that understands what I am feeling but you ladies.
Good luck to everyone

layla= · 04-04-2007, 01:12 PM

I only popped over here for a look to see if i remembered anyone, and by chance i found your post! Dh and i have been ttc for nearly 4 years now and we have just found out that i have ovarian cysts unfortunatly they are new one every month and the only cure for me is to go on the pill or ivf, dh and i have had a weight on our shoulders for the last 2 years and last week it all came to a head, i cant emotionally cope with this ttc month in and month out, he cant cope with my moods and depression, as you say if i was to conceive naturally it would have had to have been a miraculous conception (just call me mary) sorry now im ranting, (it does feel good) any way i decided last weekthat i wasnt doing it anymore and i told him, this is it i want my life back, i spent 3 day crying my eyes out but i think i would rather be back to my old self, and accept that i wont have his baby, than be chasing this dream and hurting myself and my relationship.
I feel like i have lost something though and it is really hard to accept, but not as hard as it has been, i just want to be happy again.

I dont think ive been much help to you, but i hope you get something from knowing you and your dh are not alone in this.

Amy 333 · 04-05-2007, 02:21 AM

Layla

I wouldn t have understood your choice a few months back . . . but now i certainly do. Wishing you all the best. . . i know it must not have been easy but TTC does put alot of strain on a relationship and there are many times when one has to chose. I admire your courage. Hope you found the peace you deserve.

Tami

I can relate with all that you wrote. . . . .and i am sure many others too. TTC is very stressful on the relationship. DH and i used to go on perfectly well before starting TTC . Then after the first few months and a m/c things got harder and now we have to really work on the relationship.
We obviously get our low points and i can add that we quarrel for the stupidest things more often. However we try to spend some quality time together were we forget TTC and try to rebond again.
I think the main problem would be that DH doesn t understand how imp this is to me and how scared i am that a baby might never happen to us. He either tells me i make a fuss and cross the bridge before i come to it or doesn t show he is also upset so he doesn t upset me more.

It s a problem you need to struggle with together. its very important that he is a part of everything going on. THe 1st few times i went to drs he never came with me . . when he saw how upset i was after each time he decided to come. It was only then that he understood how hard it was. Try to communicate as much as possible and express your feelings and get him to talk too.
Wishing you all the best. Believe me you are not alone in this.
Hope that you will get your BFP soon however in the mean time we ll be here if you need us.

Amy