Sadness and TTC - Trying to Conceive (TTC) Message Board

saw339 · 08-13-2007, 07:39 AM

Thanks in advance for listening, I just need to get a few things off my chest.

I've only been TTC for 5 months now and still have plenty of hope around getting pg. However, in the past 2 months during the time between AF and o, I have been fairly sad and depressed. I don't think about TTC all the time and I don't obsess, honestly, but the sadness is like an empty feeling. DH is wonderful and supportive, but he doesn't really understand and I know if I talk about it too much he will grow tired of it and the TTC subject will be slightly taboo. I do see a therapist about once a month and will see her in early September, I think I may just need to see her in the first half of the month instead of the second half so that I can talk through some of this.

We are going on vacation next week to England/Scotland and I'm hoping that we can spend a week away not thinking about it, but I will be in the 2ww at that point so it's less of a concern. If there's even the remotest possibility that I'm pg, I'm fine, it's just when I know for sure that I'm not that I am sad.

Thanks for listening. I know I need to keep up the hope and look forward to trying and being in the 2ww, but the 18 days between the arrival of AF and o are disheartening.

hickscourtney · 08-13-2007, 10:15 AM

Hey Saw....I'm sorry you are going through so much. It can be so frusterating. I know that I have that "empty" feeling quite often and its an awful feeling to have. I just want you to know that you are not alone and that you have us to support you. Hang in there...

Daisies4monkeys · 08-13-2007, 01:11 PM

Hey Saw,

I totally hear you. I too have been ttc for five months, and it's hard, definitely. I always thought it would take 1-2 months and boom, I'd be pregnant.

I had even planned out in my head telling people I was expecting, and imagining their reactions to the news. I do this every month, actually...I can't help it. I imagine taking the test, seeing the bfp and telling DH and my close friends and family. Then when AF arrives, it feels so unfair and like I have been robbed.

I hate that feeling, but hopefully you and I both will have bfps very soon and will no longer have to worry/be sad (until the next round of ttc since I for one plan to have many children.

)

Good luck hon, and if you need to chat, I'm here.

Junebug08 · 08-13-2007, 03:50 PM

Girls, it must be the 5 month curse. I've also been TTC for 5 months and feel everything that you have already mentioned. The disappointment last month just about killed me. Saw, I'm the same way with DH. I try not to mention it too often b/c he gets upset with me and tells me not to worry, it will happen. He doesn't understand the emptiness a woman can feel when she wants so much to be a mother. And Daisies, like you, I play out every month in my head how excited my mom will be and how I will tell everyone. Last month I was so convinced I was preggo that when AF came I was so angry. When you said you felt robbed I immediately realized that's exactly how I felt! Anyway, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, right? Just imagine how sweet it will be when we get our BFP's! It's going to happen ladies. It has to!

saw339 · 08-13-2007, 07:14 PM

You're right - it WILL happen. I agree that I am just antsy. DH and I are "planners" so we're constantly looking ahead to the future and prefacing things with "if I'm pregnant" or "if we have a baby" but that "if" is getting further and further away. I guess I just thought this would be so easy and it's just not. I do feel like we could do more - more bd'ing of course - I have a friend who has been having sex almost every day for 9 months and she's still not pg either. I feel awful for her and for everyone on here that is trying so hard. We don't usually get more than a few chances each month but we'll keep trying! It is so nice to talk things out on this board and have people understand. We may all think about this too much, but at least we try to be healthy about it.

Baby dust to all! Maybe the 6th month is the charm!