So torn this month...don't know if I should wish for BFP or not...
I'm so torn this month. On the one hand, I really, really want my bfp because we've been trying for 5 months...on the other hand, I have a shoulder injury that can only really be treated if I am not pregnant. You see, I need a shot of steroids into the joint or else I will be in pain for month until the physical therapy kicks in.
Now I am so torn and feel awful about it. If I am pregnant, I will be so happy because I want a baby so much. On the other hand, if I am not pregnant this month, then I get to have my shot, and will not be in pain anymore.
I feel awful that I'm not as excited this month about the idea of getting pregnant because if this was my only shot at it, then I would endure pain for the chance to have a baby...after all, I don't imagine that childbirth will tickle...on the other hand, it's my right shoulder that is injured, and it makes it so hard to do anything, even type.
Am I awful for feeling like if this month I don't get pregnant that it won't be the worst thing? When I want a baby as much as I do?