So depressed with it all... - Trying to Conceive (TTC) Message Board

siannyj · 11-27-2007, 05:34 PM

Hi there, I'm new to this but unfortunately not new to TTC. I have just had another tearful conversation with hubby about me not falling pregnant when everyone around me seems to conceive even when they are not trying. From tv soaps to work colleagues to older relatives it's all I hear these days, and I just feel so down about it. I have a child from a previous marriage but new hubby and I decided we would like our own child. Or so I thought...hubby now saying that we should focus on what he have and not what we haven't got. Of course this starts me off because he's obviously not as bothered about it as I am. I know he's right, I know not only of the love and completeness you feel, but I also know the stress a child can bring to a relationship - it was the stress of it that brought my first marriage to an end because we didn't make time for ourselves. So why oh why is my desire to have a child with my new husband so strong? With each month that my AF arrives, like you all know, it is slowly sapping the strength from me and I just feel like forgetting it all. But I know that there will always be this underlying wound that hasn't healed. Sorry for being so dramatic but that's how I feel right now. Anyone else feeling the same as me or anyone who can cheer me up? Thank you

nalphee · 11-27-2007, 06:06 PM

I'm so sorry you're feeling so down.

You are in the right place for support - welcome to the boards! Everyone here is very kind and gentle and I'm sure you'll find comfort in someone listening!

I think we all know that there is nothing that anyone can say or do that takes away the feelings and emotions that we are all going through.

Try to stay strong!

cashahn · 11-27-2007, 10:38 PM

Hi and welcome to the TTC boards. I truely understand how you feel, everyone seems to be pregnant when your TTC and seem to do so without effort. Im starting IVF with ICSI in Jan/Feb so I know where you are now and hope you dont end up where I am. Maybe DH should have a sperm sample done, and perhaps you could try BBT it will give you a good indication if you have any issues. I wish you all the best.

Cashahn xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

siannyj · 11-28-2007, 06:57 AM

Thanks for the kind words both.

I have now read a few postings here and can see that lots of us are in similar situations and I can totally understand how everyone is feeling. I have spent most of the day feeling really down. If I'm honest I'm disappointed with hubby for his comments last night where he admitted if it happens he would be delighted but if it doesn't then it he can accept that it wasn't meant to be. I feel like I am on my own even though it was a decision we both made and were excited about. I know that I am fortunate that I have my DD already from prev marriage and so does DH but I really wanted a child of our own, and if it doesn't happen naturally DH says he doesn't want to go through the stress and anxiety of IVF etc. I've had a lap and was treated for adhesions sticking womb and tubes together but yet to find out if that has effected fertility. Anybody else had experience of this condition?

Thanks and good luck to everyone xxx

Cupcake3 · 11-28-2007, 08:12 PM

hello All,

I guess I am here too in the same boat. I see everyone around me on their 2nd child. I m/c twice once earlier this year. So I am in the dumps today. When I called an old coworker to say hello and she said she is 5 months prego.. I amhappy for her.But really down today. This has not bothered me for a while. but today it has been hard... this really stinks... i am 39 years old.. Dr told me to start trying again now. I have a mother to take care of and a stressful job. But overall i want my family.... Trying not to show it too much to my SO as he is really ready to try again. I also feel the old AF coming too.... I am going to ge the ovulation kit as soon as Af shows up. This is such a hard time of the year too...

Best of luck to everyone...