back to square one for me.. - Trying to Conceive (TTC) Message Board

cookiemunster65 · 01-27-2009, 11:05 AM

well, i finally got my test results back today for PCOS testing. and, everything came back normal. needless to say, i'm next to heartbroken

i was hoping for a clear cut answer, but of course -- nothing for me can be easy..

just as my family doctor said, my thyroid was a little lower then it should've been, so i'm going for bloodwork next week to double check that it wasn't just a natural fluctuation.. i'm just like ready to cry

i feel like any time i even barely get my hopes up and get 1 step closer, i end up heartbroken, dissapointed and 10 steps back. i mean, i guess its good because there's still hope on the thyroid, and the symptoms still make sense.. so i shouldn't feel completely upset, but i'm bothered by it none the less..

so she said she wont send me to a specialist until i've reached a year with trying, and i honestly forget when i told her we started, but we stopped using all bc methods when we got married which was a year and a half ago, and i started tracking my period in april.. so maybe i'll just print my charts and when i go for my pap in march i'll just tell her i forgot we started in april so i'm that much closer.. its okay to lie, right?

just keep me in your prayers, but i guess i'll be out of the loop here until we get my thyroid undercontrol and get my periods regular.. otherwise - i dont really think i have a shot getting pg.. since i never have any idea of when af is going to come. i'll still be peaking in and commenting here and there.

thank you so far for your words of encouragement, and for those still to come.

smrose2200 · 01-27-2009, 12:19 PM

Cookie, the way I see it, when you stopped taking bc then that's the beginning of trying. so i wouldn't feel like you are lying. i am back to square one also. af started today so i am bummed but i have my appt with my specialist on thursday for my 1st sonogram and to get my 1st shot. they will send me home with medication to have my shots twice a day for i don't know how long. she first said the cost of the shots was more than i alloted for and i was bummed and told i didn't have all the money and would have to put my iui off for a couple of months. made me want to start crying but then she said she had donated medication to cover about $200 of the cost and that i actually now have enough money so am stoked to say the least. i can't wait to get started. i am trying to be realistic that it won't work the first time but and trying to put my faith in God that it will work and that this is a sign so trying to be hopeful. keep your chin up as i totally know how you feel. I guess be thankful that you don't have it. (funky periods, facial and chest hair,weight gain that is hard to get rid of etc.)i know it would give you at least a reason for the infertility but maybe once they start checking it will be simple to fix unlike pcos. i know i have it and like before have been crossing my fingers for 10 + years. i will cross my fingers for you and pray that this is both of our years. it's all good.

elainee · 01-27-2009, 12:53 PM

Oh Cookie,

Sounds weird, but I'm sorry your blood tests were normal, but you know what I mean. I know you're dissappointed that you hoped you'd have a problem, they'd find a solution and then that would be that. I do understand why you're so disappointed...........BUT...

on a positive note, it's great that you don't have any condition. Hopefully your thyroid will be ok too. Here's a suggestion, would you not go down the alternative route while you wait. I know I tried Fertilaid and went off it, but I think it didn't work like I'd hoped more because of the other medication I was on at the time that is known to effect your cycle. Or fertilityblend, I looked that up, but it costs a fortune to get that sent over to Ireland.
They really seem to come through for people with irregular cycles like yours.

Anyway, take time, have a think I know you're bummed right now. But see how you feel in a few days xx

cookiemunster65 · 01-27-2009, 01:02 PM

sm and elainee.. thank you both

i know i should be ecstatic, its just that i'm tired of dealing with all this nonsense.. you know what i mean? i'm picking up my bloodwork script today and scheduling an appointment for next week. i'm supposed to make an appointment with my family doctor when the results are in, so i'll schedule it 2 days after my bloodwork.

and believe me, i am thankful that i don't have a worse condition then an underactive thyroid, but i think i was just initally the shock of dissapointment/more confusion is what got me.. i know i'll be fine, i just kind of thought i'd aquire more patience as i continued this journey, however i'm learning that my patience just grew thinner and thinner haha

cookiemunster65 · 01-29-2009, 08:03 AM

as requested by my family doctor, i scheduled bloodwork for monday 02/02 to get my thyroid retested, and i have an appointment set up with her for thursday 02/05 in the afternoon. once i get my computer up and running (it crashed last week) i'll be printing out my charts and bringing them with so she can take a peek at them.

hope everyone is doing well - quiet boards lately..

have a great weekend if i don't talk to ya'll!