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Old 01-27-2009, 11:05 AM   #1
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cookiemunster65 HB User
back to square one for me..

well, i finally got my test results back today for PCOS testing. and, everything came back normal. needless to say, i'm next to heartbroken i was hoping for a clear cut answer, but of course -- nothing for me can be easy..

just as my family doctor said, my thyroid was a little lower then it should've been, so i'm going for bloodwork next week to double check that it wasn't just a natural fluctuation.. i'm just like ready to cry i feel like any time i even barely get my hopes up and get 1 step closer, i end up heartbroken, dissapointed and 10 steps back. i mean, i guess its good because there's still hope on the thyroid, and the symptoms still make sense.. so i shouldn't feel completely upset, but i'm bothered by it none the less..

so she said she wont send me to a specialist until i've reached a year with trying, and i honestly forget when i told her we started, but we stopped using all bc methods when we got married which was a year and a half ago, and i started tracking my period in april.. so maybe i'll just print my charts and when i go for my pap in march i'll just tell her i forgot we started in april so i'm that much closer.. its okay to lie, right?

just keep me in your prayers, but i guess i'll be out of the loop here until we get my thyroid undercontrol and get my periods regular.. otherwise - i dont really think i have a shot getting pg.. since i never have any idea of when af is going to come. i'll still be peaking in and commenting here and there.

thank you so far for your words of encouragement, and for those still to come.

 
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Old 01-27-2009, 12:19 PM   #2
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smrose2200 HB User
Re: back to square one for me..

Cookie, the way I see it, when you stopped taking bc then that's the beginning of trying. so i wouldn't feel like you are lying. i am back to square one also. af started today so i am bummed but i have my appt with my specialist on thursday for my 1st sonogram and to get my 1st shot. they will send me home with medication to have my shots twice a day for i don't know how long. she first said the cost of the shots was more than i alloted for and i was bummed and told i didn't have all the money and would have to put my iui off for a couple of months. made me want to start crying but then she said she had donated medication to cover about $200 of the cost and that i actually now have enough money so am stoked to say the least. i can't wait to get started. i am trying to be realistic that it won't work the first time but and trying to put my faith in God that it will work and that this is a sign so trying to be hopeful. keep your chin up as i totally know how you feel. I guess be thankful that you don't have it. (funky periods, facial and chest hair,weight gain that is hard to get rid of etc.)i know it would give you at least a reason for the infertility but maybe once they start checking it will be simple to fix unlike pcos. i know i have it and like before have been crossing my fingers for 10 + years. i will cross my fingers for you and pray that this is both of our years. it's all good.

 
Old 01-27-2009, 12:53 PM   #3
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Re: back to square one for me..

Oh Cookie,

Sounds weird, but I'm sorry your blood tests were normal, but you know what I mean. I know you're dissappointed that you hoped you'd have a problem, they'd find a solution and then that would be that. I do understand why you're so disappointed...........BUT...

on a positive note, it's great that you don't have any condition. Hopefully your thyroid will be ok too. Here's a suggestion, would you not go down the alternative route while you wait. I know I tried Fertilaid and went off it, but I think it didn't work like I'd hoped more because of the other medication I was on at the time that is known to effect your cycle. Or fertilityblend, I looked that up, but it costs a fortune to get that sent over to Ireland.
They really seem to come through for people with irregular cycles like yours.

Anyway, take time, have a think I know you're bummed right now. But see how you feel in a few days xx

Last edited by Mod08; 01-31-2009 at 04:24 PM. Reason: Do not direct searches.

 
Old 01-27-2009, 01:02 PM   #4
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cookiemunster65 HB User
Re: back to square one for me..

sm and elainee.. thank you both

i know i should be ecstatic, its just that i'm tired of dealing with all this nonsense.. you know what i mean? i'm picking up my bloodwork script today and scheduling an appointment for next week. i'm supposed to make an appointment with my family doctor when the results are in, so i'll schedule it 2 days after my bloodwork.

and believe me, i am thankful that i don't have a worse condition then an underactive thyroid, but i think i was just initally the shock of dissapointment/more confusion is what got me.. i know i'll be fine, i just kind of thought i'd aquire more patience as i continued this journey, however i'm learning that my patience just grew thinner and thinner haha

 
Old 01-29-2009, 08:03 AM   #5
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cookiemunster65 HB User
Re: back to square one for me..

as requested by my family doctor, i scheduled bloodwork for monday 02/02 to get my thyroid retested, and i have an appointment set up with her for thursday 02/05 in the afternoon. once i get my computer up and running (it crashed last week) i'll be printing out my charts and bringing them with so she can take a peek at them.

hope everyone is doing well - quiet boards lately..


have a great weekend if i don't talk to ya'll!

 
Old 01-30-2009, 10:37 AM   #6
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Re: back to square one for me..

Hey Cookie,

The wheels are still turning for you. You've got to get your bloods done now and you're right, bring your charts, tell them you've been trying for over a year (you're not technically lying) and get the ball rolling faster.

I've been a bit quiet lately, because work has been crazy busy and I'm only CD10 and I really don't want to go as nuts as I did in the last tww, even though I'm not there yet. But I'm still keeping track of you xx

Last edited by Mod08; 01-31-2009 at 04:41 PM. Reason: Message for smrose2200 moved into separate thread entitled I'm bummed.

 
Old 01-30-2009, 10:52 AM   #7
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cookiemunster65 HB User
Re: back to square one for me..

thanks elainee... i notice you and thaele become MIA for about 2 weeks lol but thank you for checking up on me. dh and i had a set back last night, had a few words and NO BD'ing... if the spotting i did have was my 'af', then i should be 'o-ing' soon, but he -punished- me by not bding for something so completely stupid.... get this, i told him i didnt feel like he supported me, and he flipped out, so i told him, with all this recent news with my bloodwork, etc etc, stress of trying, and a few other issues going on, and he never once asked how i felt about any of it.. his response - 'if you wanted to talk, you should've said something.'

so needless to say, i DIDNT get my hug and the 'its all gunna be okay' that i so desperately need.. so i've been giving him the cold shoulder until he apologizes for being a ______ . i'm ready for spring, maybe i'll start feeling better and more confident about ttc if the weather was warmer..

 
Old 01-31-2009, 10:54 AM   #8
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elainee HB User
Re: back to square one for me..

Hey Cookie,

**REMOVED*

I feel for you where DH is concerned, sometimes they can just be complete disaster area's. Like I've said so many times, thank God for these boards, because if I only had DH to rely on for support during this, we'd be in big trouble.

I hope he get a grip soon and starts giving you some proper support. If he's anything like my DH, once he hears that, in your case, you haven't got PCOS, then everythings ok. Oh to have a simple life like DH's sometimes....

Hang in there, hopefully he's improved by the time you're reading this xx

Last edited by Mod08; 01-31-2009 at 04:40 PM. Reason: Please honor others privacy.

 
Old 02-02-2009, 06:29 AM   #9
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cookiemunster65 HB User
Re: back to square one for me..

elainee, thanks for listening to me vent. your absolutely right, if we only have dh to rely on and not these boards, we'd all go insane!! but i found one of my girlfriends and her husband are trying, and its sooo nice to be able to vent face to face with someone.. it really is a huge relief, so hopefully the declining stress, things may fall into place she told me though she's having thyroid problems and endometriosis, so she's having just as many problems as i have, so i'm trying to get her here on the boards. i just rave about you marvelous ladies!! plus, her dh is just like the rest of ours, so i told her this is a great support group if nothing else!

well, i go for bloodwork today for thyroid, my doc is doing another TSH, T3 updake, T4 free and thyroid auto-antibodies?.. not that i know what a lick of that means but thyroid stuff lol then i have a set appointment for thursday with the doc, so we can go over results. and i also want to ask her about my nausea, as i've noticed when i have tomato sauce for dinner, my nausea is 10,000x worse in the morning... so maybe she was right by saying acid reflux?? but my fault for not taking a zantac when i ate.. hmm, hopefully we can get this straightened out.

have a lovely day ladies, stay safe in these cold winter days!

 
Old 02-02-2009, 09:10 AM   #10
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Re: back to square one for me..

Cookie and Elaine, missed you guys. Well, i finally had good news at the dr this morning. i went thursday for a cd3 sono to see if i could start the meds for my iui and my uterine lining hadn't thinned enough and my hormones hadn't dropped yet. they told me to come back today and see what gives. they also told me that they had donated meds i could have to help with about $200 of the cost. i had a less than normal af for me. it only lasted 6 days which i normally go 8-12 and heavy and this was light. really weird and i now have this clear gooy stuff kind of like you get with a runny nose. i have never had that before. the dr said my lining has thinned nicely and my cycsts from pcos have shrunken somehow and aren't noticible on the sono. (bonus). they actually had enough meds to give me then all free except the clomid pills i had to get filled (cheap) and the "ovidrel" that was ordered. I don't know how much that is but i don't think it is that much. the nurse gave me her left over progesterone that i have to take after the iui. they did bloodwork this morning to see if i can start taking the meds tonight. i was freaked out about the shots but i only have to take them right now for 4 days and the needle is so little and i only have to take it at night in my stomach. i think i can do it. i am feeling very hopeful that this is going to work even though my dh is feeling hopeless that it won't so he doesn't want to get his hopes up and he doesn't feel great about having to go to the room at the hopsital to give a specimen. he thinks he will not be able to provide due to the pressure of giving. we'll see. cross your fingers. i have been doing so much praying for all of us that this is the year. has anyone taken the follistim shots before? good luck to all.

 
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