Hi there, I am in the same situation you are. I desperately want children and my husband doesn't. It is the hardest thing I ever had to go through. I cry a lot, I am down a lot, I think of moving on, and then I think why should I settle for (not) having something I want and I KNOW I will be wonderful at because he doesnt want it.. But then, why should he settle for something he doesnt want. It is a really hard SELFISH world out there. I love my husband, but am really having problems. He is scared. He says he wants kids SOMEDAY.. But in my heart, I know he doesn't. I know he is just telling me that.
I just think that you and I could really relate a lot. A
ll you other girls are great too.. You really help people out a lot.. and I would love some more ears to listen or some more fingers to type some advice to me, I will tell more of my story if you anyone is interested, I am a true believer in.. TALKING is very very REALEASING!
AWWW Starlet. It must be so hard to have this dream of having babies and not having your hubby support it. The thing that I know must be the hardest is wondering if he would be there to help(if you got preg.) even if he does stick around. I mean..what would he do if you got preg. anyway? I do applaud you for respecting his wishes and not trying to get preg. when he doesn't want it. But maybe moving on to someone who shares your dreams and goals is better. I don't like divorce but only YOU can make yourself happy..not a man and not babies. You have to have a strong foundation to have a baby b/c they are stressful and strain even the best marriages. How old are you and your hubby anyway??
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Smile, life doesn't last that long.
My husband and I are very close in every other aspect. Husband 27 Me 24 years old. Umm.. I KNOW he would stick by me, cause I had a m/c and he was by my side the whole time before I had the m/c. But it is very hard., and I don't want to leave him EVER, but I do want kids.
I mean I am really struggling with this, but I do love my husband with ALL MY HEART and would Do ANYTHING for him. And I think he would do anything for me. Except that. That kinda hurts! But I am going with my gut and respecting his wishes for now. But someday he would have to respect mine or else we would have some decisions to make.
He says he wants them "someday" but I have a feeling that "day" will never come. I have friends who have kids and don't even take care of them. I mean it isnt fair. But, I know someday I have a lot of love to give to a small life, and someday I will. I PROMISE YOU THAT!
Aww Starlet you are only 24!! You have plenty of time to have a baby. I did the craziest thing. I wanted a baby VERY badly right after my hubby and I got married...2 months later I was preg. He wanted it and so did I. But to be honest I wish I had spent several years getting used to married life(if you ever do!!) and having fun as a couple. I think your hubby will be glad to have a baby but maybe he is scared. You know they say guys mature a little slower maybe it will take him a year or so to come around. I think it is great that you are respecting his desire and I think in 6 months to a year he should be willing to give in to your desire. I also have noticed this about many men they don't get all mushy and emotional over babies until AFTER they are born. Maybe he really just needs a little time to get ussed to the whole being a Daddy idea. But men are like mules don't push them or they will NEVER budge. Sounds like you have a great man and a great marriage enjoy it and stregthen it so when the time comes to have a baby ya'll will be prepared!!
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Smile, life doesn't last that long.
Yeah thank you! I know I am only 24 but we have also been married for 2 1/2 years. BUt I know what you are saying and I greatly appreciate you talking to me. It means a lot taht a complete stranger still cares.
I know he is scared and I do understand.. lol.. You are right they are like mules! I don't bug him about it, actually i never even mention it anymore. I haven't in about 3 months.
We have been enjoying the whole "marriage" deal, but to be quite honest, it gets boring. I mean.. we need something different. It is just the same old thing.
We have a great marriage, we don't fight (we get along quite well)The good thing is.. My husband is an awesome person. To tell you some more, My husband is a good person.. He has never said one mean or nasty word to me, and when I ask him why we never argue, he said "because I don't want to say anything to hurt you , or anything I will regret, because I love you". Isnt that sweet. I guess the point of that was to tell you a little how good he is to me. And that is why I am being patient! I think a good guy is VERY hard to come by. I have had my share in an abusive relationship myself. And I am gonna hang on to this one>!
Aww he is soo sweet. I understand your desire to have a baby. I wanted my son soo badly that no one could stand between me and my goal. I kinda wish my hubby had!! LOL!! I'm almost 20..in March...I was married when I was 18. Yeah..I know that is young..trust me I've heard it all!! But I think you will make a great mom and maybe he'll see things your way soon!! At least I hope he does!!
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Smile, life doesn't last that long.
