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Jules0301 10-09-2012 03:35 AM

IVF at 40...
 
Just wanted to put my story out there as no matter how much my friends and family are trying to be supportive, they just don't get it. The guilt of not being able to fall pregnant and all the emotions attached to it.

I am 40 years old and single. Past relationships are just that, in the past. I first started looking at IVF at 38 and getting all the tests and looking into the process so that I knew if it was right for me.

I am using donor sperm and that took 10 months just to wait for that.

So, now I am 40 and in the last 6 months have done 4 cycles. Today I discovered my 4th cycle did not work and I don't know where to go from here. I thought I would only ever do 3 cycles but even after 4, I can't see giving up.... well, just yet.

Fortunately, the actual process doesn't bother me. The days I don't need to take the needles feel weird now. (How sad is that?) It is just the emotions I go through when I find out I am not pregnant... makes me think I am not meant to me a mum... and that breaks my heart each time.

Anyway if there is anyone out there in a similar situation, I would love to hear from you. To those who have been successful, I wish you all the best with your little ones.

CaliGirl77 10-30-2012 03:11 PM

Re: IVF at 40...
 
Hello There! I totally feel your pain over not getting pregnant. And you are so right, even though our loved ones are supportive, they will never fully know how much it hurts & all the emotions one goes through when it comes to infertility.

I am 35 and my husband and I have been trying for 4yrs with no luck. Ever since I was a small child I knew that I wanted to be a mom. I actually wanted to be a young mom w/ 3-4 kids. With age sneaking up on me, those dreams have definintely changed. I would be happy to just have 1 baby at this point! And although I am very happy for all my friends and family to have babies, it is very hard not to have a pity-party for myself each month knowing that we are the only ones that do not have children yet. It has also been hard pill to swallow knowing that I can’t do this naturally. I’ve always been the type of personality that if I want to get something done I would just do it, but this is completely out of my control which is very frustrating! I am definitely feeling effects of depression over this whole situation.

We are currently going through our first IVF cycle. Hopefully we can harvest next week and hopefully implant the following. I’m excited but nervous at the same time. I have so many emotions that I’m not sure what to do with them! I am trying to stay positive because I want this more than anything in the world, but at times it’s hard when you have so much riding on the line.

So I’m right there with you- Every day I feel something different, it’s a whirlwind of emotions- Sadness, excitment, frustration, anger… I keep telling myself that it’s all worth it, just to hang in there, that if this process ends with a beautiful baby then it will be worth all the pain!

Hang in there & best of luck with your continued journey! And just know you are not alone in the way you feel!

CaliGirl77 10-30-2012 03:19 PM

Re: IVF at 40...
 
Hello There! I totally feel your pain over not getting pregnant. And you are so right, even though our loved ones are supportive, they will never fully know how much it hurts & all the emotions one goes through when it comes to infertility.

I am 35 and my husband and I have been trying for 4yrs with no luck. Ever since I was a small child I knew that I wanted to be a mom. I actually wanted to be a young mom w/ 3-4 kids. With age sneaking up on me, those dreams have definintely changed. I would be happy to just have 1 baby at this point! And although I am very happy for all my friends and family to have babies, it is very hard not to have a pity-party for myself each month knowing that we are the only ones that do not have children yet. It has also been hard pill to swallow knowing that I canít do this naturally. Iíve always been the type of personality that if I want to get something done I would just do it, but this is completely out of my control which is very frustrating! I am definitely feeling effects of depression over this whole situation.

We are currently going through our first IVF cycle. Hopefully we can harvest next week and hopefully implant the following. Iím excited but nervous at the same time. I have so many emotions that Iím not sure what to do with them! I am trying to stay positive because I want this more than anything in the world, but at times itís hard when you have so much riding on the line.

So Iím right there with you- Every day I feel something different, itís a whirlwind of emotions- Sadness, excitment, frustration, angerÖ I keep telling myself that itís all worth it, just to hang in there, that if this process ends with a beautiful baby then it will be worth all the pain!

Hang in there & best of luck with your continued journey! And just know you are not alone in the way you feel!


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